More than a Mistake
By Melissa Ringstaff
Photo Credit: Alfred Borchard
My name is Melissa Ringstaff and this is my story.
There was a time when I was not sure my dreams could come true or if I would ever find true happiness. I didn’t know if God could forgive me, or if I could even forgive myself.
You see, I was a teenage mom.
I made a lot of mistakes as a young girl. I believed I was in love with a boy. I allowed myself to be used and did things I knew in my heart I was not ready to do.
When I was only 14 years old, I got pregnant with a baby. I was faced with a big decision at a very young age. I knew in my heart that this baby was my baby and that I had to do everything in my power from that point forward to ensure he had a good life.
I was determined not to be a loser. I had always been a “good girl” and it was difficult to accept the shame and guilt I felt. No longer did people see me as a sweet Christian girl who made good grades. All people saw was my young face and my growing belly.
As it goes so often when a girl gets pregnant out of wedlock, my boyfriend was not faithful. He went off to college, dated other girls and ignored me for most of my pregnancy. It hurt like crazy. My heart was shattered. Not only had I given a precious gift to this boy, I had to carry the responsibility all alone. I am so grateful to my parents who really stood by me, even though I know how devastated they were. It broke their hearts.
God’s Healing Power
Flash forward 15 years: I am happily married (for the second time) to a loving Christian man. I am the proud mom to five beautiful children. Today, I am ministering to women all around the world, sharing God’s love for each and every one of us. It doesn’t matter that we all screw up at one time or another. God loves us anyway.
- Yes, I made some mistakes.
- No, I was not able to finish high school.
- No, I should not have married the father of my out-of-wedlock baby.
- Yes, I determined not to let my life be the result of poor choices.
- No, I wouldn’t change my life for anything!
I gave my life over to Christ (for real this time) and have worked hard, prayed a lot, and watched as the blessings poured out of heaven.
Just because you made a mistake, does not mean your life is to be the epitome of your mistake. You can have more. You can be forgiven. You can live a life full of victory. God is waiting to fill your life with joy, peace, success, and happiness.
It is up to you whether you ask Him to lead you to a better place.
If you were inspired by my story, feel free to share these images below or the one above! Thanks!
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RITA A AWUMEY
November 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm (201 days ago)hi from Ghana, l like yr ministry and want to be part.
Many women and girls in my country face similar situation you want through.
thank you.
Claudia
November 24, 2012 at 2:21 am (182 days ago)Hi Melissa, I too was a teen mother, who had my life turned around by God. I am now a pastor’s wife as well. I think that what you are doing is amazing, and inspiring. Please pray for me, as I keep you in my prayers.
Melissa Ringstaff
November 25, 2012 at 6:22 pm (180 days ago)Hi Claudia, it’s so nice to meet you! Thank you for sharing with me and for the prayers. I will pray for you!
Charlie
November 26, 2012 at 5:44 pm (179 days ago)I just emailed you and then read this. I, too was an unwed Mom at 15. My parents were so disappointed in me as well. We share very much the same story. My parents gave me two options. Marry the father of my baby, or be sent away to a girls school, and give up the baby. I married her father, and after too many heartaches to mention, found the man of my dreams, too. I always say we would not be who we are today without the mistakes and lessons of our past. I’m so glad I found your blog! How do I subscribe via email? Thank you so much!!
Melissa Ringstaff
November 26, 2012 at 7:56 pm (179 days ago)Charlie, thank you for sharing your story. God is sooo good!
Lette
December 29, 2012 at 11:57 pm (146 days ago)Thank you, Melissa, for sharing your story. It’s nice to know we, as people (and women, especially), are more similar than dissimilar. Though my husband hasn’t found me yet, as I have never been married, I know he’s on his way. God is good, indeed. His grace is sufficient. And because He loves us so deeply, He provides our every need and fulfills our every desire. I am glad I truly know my heavenly Father today! May God continue to abundantly bless you, your family, your ministry, and those to whom you minister in this New Year and forever. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!
crystal
January 13, 2013 at 8:07 am (131 days ago)Hello Melissa, thank you for sharing your self, and your story.
Ann
March 2, 2013 at 4:29 pm (83 days ago)Hi Melissa,
School isn’t everything… don’t worry. You are able to touch people’s hearts for God and for good…. more than many PhDs can. You are a blessing to so many people all around the world. You are an inspiration.
Love and blessings from Australia,
Ann.
Melissa Ringstaff
March 2, 2013 at 4:50 pm (83 days ago)Ann, that’s so kind of you to say! And you are right. Education isn’t everything. Determination will get you farther than any degree if you work hard enough.
Nancy
March 5, 2013 at 6:57 am (81 days ago)My daughter got pregnant when she was 16 years old and the baby was born after she turned 17. She is now 20. She still does not know God and I am praying that she will. I love my 18 month granddaughter very much. Her name is Catalina. My heart was broken when she told me the news but I told myself that as tragic as it may seem now, in ten years I probably won’t even think about it. My prayer is that she will come to have faith in JC and find a man who is faithful and responsible.
Melissa Ringstaff
March 5, 2013 at 7:34 am (80 days ago)Nancy, thank you for sharing your story. It’s amazing how, when a child is born, we forget that we thought it was a mistake. Children are a gift from God. I’m so glad your daughter has such a loving a supportive mom!
Summer
March 11, 2013 at 2:36 pm (74 days ago)I came upon your website after doing a search regarding Proverbs 31. After reading the virtuous woman article and several of your other post in “From Chaos to Calm”, I must say I was really moved by your personal testimony. I am still new to forming a closer relationship with God (I grew up in a Christian home but never really knew personally what it meant to be a Christian outside of my family). I am always thrilled to encounter other women of God and am striving to be a virtuous woman. Thanks for this wonderful website and I cannot wait to read more of your articles. Continue to be a blessing to all women
Renee
March 11, 2013 at 4:34 pm (74 days ago)Thank you for your blog. I just found it today. But it has helped me so much today. I have been married for 15 years or so, and we have two wonderful children, and one on the way. My life is far from perfect…I was raised in an alcoholic and drug users home. We yelled and fought all the time. I knew nothing about being a christian wife or mother. God has helped me through some very rough times. I am currently in remission for brain cancer for eight years now. God is so great. Some days I miss that. Thanks for everything.
Melissa Ringstaff
March 11, 2013 at 4:46 pm (74 days ago)Summer, thanks so much for visiting with me! I appreciate your kind words and hope you will come back often. God is so good!
Melissa Ringstaff
March 11, 2013 at 4:53 pm (74 days ago)Renee, Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so glad that Jesus takes us right where we are at and picks us up! We can all have victory! I hope you will come and visit with me often! Thank you for your kind words. God bless you!
April
March 24, 2013 at 7:22 pm (61 days ago)had seen this just in time to know that even I can be encouraged to know that I could be a light in a dark place , I love it when God reminds us of things
Melissa Ringstaff
March 25, 2013 at 3:16 pm (60 days ago)Hi April, God is so good! I’m so glad you were encouraged. I hope you visit with me again!
betsy
March 27, 2013 at 12:12 am (59 days ago)tyvm 4 sharing your story
Doris
March 27, 2013 at 4:51 am (59 days ago)Hello Mellisa,
Thanks lots for sharing your success story. I have a similar calling like ministry you are in now. Can we get in touch to discuss further how to go about it?
Hoping to hear from you soon.
many thanks
Doris
Melissa Ringstaff
March 27, 2013 at 9:40 am (58 days ago)Hi Doris, feel free to email me! Although, I am slow replying, but I try to answer each email. God bless you!
Tita Wowie
April 3, 2013 at 8:43 pm (51 days ago)Hi, Melissa! I am Tita Wowie or Babes to some friends. Thanks for sharing your story. You are a courageous woman & indeed a virtuous one! Really,God is so awesome in working in our lives. I ,too, had some shares of unfaithfulness& doubts on Him but He worked (and still is) in my life so well I could have endless thanks. I was a grown woman when I had a difficult child, with autism,but with His love for me to pour on my child, I praise Him more because this child of mine graduated in college (BS.Marine Biology)and is now working with Path Fnd. as environmental educator. It is nice that we are bound by Christ’ love to be virtuous women. Hope we can be friends & share God’s works in us!
Melissa Ringstaff
April 4, 2013 at 5:37 am (51 days ago)Hi Tita! It is so nice to meet you! Thank you for sharing your story with me. I always enjoy hearing how God is working and has worked in His people. God bless you!
Nthabi
April 19, 2013 at 8:43 am (35 days ago)i am also a mother of 2 at 24 with different Fathers at my age allready and it is out of wedlock ..i am inspired but your story and also need some encouragement as i am now a christian and have been approached by a Man of God who wants to marry me and loves my kids but i find it hard to believe and get negative at times
lucy
May 8, 2013 at 7:49 pm (16 days ago)I came across your site…Thank you for the wisdom. <3
Ruth
May 10, 2013 at 7:09 am (15 days ago)Hi Melissa! I came across your website today for the first time…… it is nice to see that you are touching peoples lives with your testimony. Thank you for this inspiring website; a true christian listens and is obedient to God’s calling and this is what you have done. Not only can we be a virtuous women but have to believe that we were made special for a special time like it is now. This young generation of today needs Godly women and Godly mothers. May God continue blessing you in many ways. God is with you! : )
Melissa Ringstaff
May 10, 2013 at 2:24 pm (14 days ago)Ruth, thank you for your kind words! I am so glad you found A Virtuous Woman today and I hope you will come back often and visit with me!