Keeping the Romance Alive
By Melissa Ringstaff
Photo Credit: David Curran
From Chaos to Calm: Day Sixty-Four
Keeping the Romance Alive
Scripture Memory: “My lover is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others! … His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.” Song of Songs 5: 10, 16
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I know we have discussed your relationship with your husband already, but this is such an important topic, that I felt like we should touch on it again. After all, we have been in the bedroom for the last few days, right?
In the early stages of marriage, romance and intimacy usually come pretty easily. As time progresses, however, life often gets in the way of any passion you may have felt in the beginning. A solid marriage is going to be solid in the bedroom as well as out. How can we as wives keep the romance alive when it seems like life is always working against us?
One thing I have found that keeps my heart in tune is to find reasons to praise my husband to friends (or strangers)! I love sharing our love story with others and I have found that no matter how frustrated I may be feeling with him, if I share our love story (how we met and fell in love, etc.) my heart is always softened toward him. Remembering why you love your husband is an effective aphrodisiac!
If you are struggling to find time to connect with your husband, the first step to rekindling the romance is to identify things that make be preventing you and your husband from having a close, intimate relationship where romance still abounds. Romance is not just about sex. Romance is about the emotional connection as well as the physical connection.
What are some problems that may be keeping you and your husband from being fully connected?
- lack of time
- children
- resentment
- financial stress
- exhaustion
Hopefully over the course of the last few weeks you have learned to love your husband for who he is and you have let go of old hurts and resentments. If not, spend more time in prayer about those things that have built a wall around you and your heart that are preventing you from being completely and totally in love with your husband. Our husbands and families deserve the best of our lives and living with bitterness, anger, and resentment are not the best we have to offer!
What are some ways you can overcome other obstacles that may be preventing you from being physically close to your husband? If children are a problem, make sure the children are in bed at the same time every night. As little ones grow from babies to toddlers and later to adolescents this gets easier. Babies may need you unexpectedly, but that is to be expected and part of the joy of raising children! In the mean time, do everything that is within your control to ensure that you and your husband have time together each night.
If you are like me, time and exhaustion all play a part in intimate time spent with your husband. Every morning from the moment our feet hit the ground we are running until often late at night when we collapse into bed so tired we can barely move. If this sounds familiar, you may have to be especially creative! Make a date. Try early mornings or middle of the afternoon. Just make it a priority!
There are so many ways you can be creative in the bedroom. Don’t let busyness, children, and frustrations keep you from missing out on one of the most fulfilling parts of your marriage. In the long run, keep the romance alive can keep your marriage alive. Marriages that are not filled with frequent time having some “fun” in the bedroom (or elsewhere) are open to temptation and wandering lusts. As keepers of our homes we have a duty to our husbands and ourselves to keep the romance alive!
God gave us sex. It is a holy, sacred union between a husband and wife that provides so much more than just physical release. It strengthens the bond between you and your husband and connects the two of you in way that no other activity can! Do not neglect this time with your husband!
Today, ask God how you can be the lover your husband desires you to be and ask Him to help you overcome any obstacles that are preventing you from being fully connected to the man you love.
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Candy Vonderhuevel
April 16, 2011 at 4:17 am (770 days ago)I have a question, what if it is my husband that has created the wall between us that I cannot seem to break through? There is absolutely no intamacy in our marriage and I have tried everything that I can to bring it back. We used to go for coffee once in a while but not any more. He comes home from work and it too tired to do anything except turn on the television. He will not even come to the kitchen with me to talk to me. And as far as sex goes that happens about 4x a year if I am lucky. Any suggestions? I am beginning to feel like he really hates or resents me and dont know what to do about it.
Rhonda Varkey
April 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm (764 days ago)Did I miss something? Have there been anymore post or is it all done?
Ileen Craig Belcher
April 22, 2011 at 12:41 pm (763 days ago)Actually, I think there are supposed to be 75 days in all.
Naomi
April 23, 2011 at 11:29 am (762 days ago)I believe there has not been anymore posts because, I too, have been searching and checking. Maybe Melissa has been busy with family and the new website to upload anymore. Patience. We just have to have patience.
)
Tina
April 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm (760 days ago)There hasn’t been anymore posts. I agree there are supposed to be 75 of them. I think Melissa has been busy with the new website.
India Estes
April 26, 2011 at 4:29 pm (759 days ago)I feel like we have no romance in our marriage at all. My husband is not the romantic type. He doesnt take the time to surprise me or anything. Not even for our anniversary, he was making plans to go out with our brother in law and I had to remind him it was our anniversary weekend. He threw a meal together but it wasnt special because we always take turns cooking. He didn’t do anything special like light candles or anything AND he watched his show. Oh he did get me a card. So I’ve tried before to be a little romantic but its hard to feel like it because he always rejects me and I hate getting rejected. It makes me feel unattractive to HIM, I have gained some weight but he says that dont bother him because he gained more weight then me. But he says we married now which makes it harder for me because its like I have to be rejected. I told him before he makes me feel like I’m not enough for him because he CONSTANTLY wants to do things with my mother or my family or something but he never make plans for us, its like I’m a last resort. He don’t normally want to go and just do things with me. We go out to eat together because either we got hungry and stopped or no one else was available. But then I feel like what do you talk about? What is a typical romantic night?