Wired.

Or not.

We decided a week ago to cut off the internet in our house.

That’s right. Despite the fact that I run an online ministry from home, we cut off the internet.

There were a number of reasons. After only a week, I can already tell a huge difference in how I feel and I have noticed a difference in my children.

A few weeks ago, I was on facebook and noticed a “status” on a friend’s page that went something like this:

Family time: Mom’s on iphone, daughter’s on iphone, son’s on ipad, Dad’s on laptop.

That one little quip really bothered me. It sounded funny. But not really. It’s the sign of a disconnected family. Everyone off in their own little cyber space world. It’s what’s wrong with America today. It bothers me. I don’t want to be that family.

Now, honestly, we aren’t that bad. I’ve never considered computer time, family time. I monitor the kids usage daily, their devices are passworded and only I know the password. They have to have permission to get on. I’ve never believed it was healthy to have your head in “the box” for hours on end on a daily basis. But at the same time, I felt like we were missing something as a family. In our house, as busy as we are, we have a basic routine to our days. The kids do their school work then get their chores done so they can have “free time.” More often than not, as soon as their chores were done the request would come in, “Mom, can I get on my computer (or kindle, ipod, etc.)?” I realized that free time was no longer about discovering new interests, working on a hobby, learning a new skill, having quiet down time, or taking a walk. It was more and more about being wired to facebook or Messenger.

For myself, I realized that my desire to write a new article or share a new recipe often came before my desire to get other important things done. I also realized that being “wired in” 24/7 meant that I felt an obligation to provide daily material for my readers to enjoy so that my google rank stayed high. But then, it was also very easy to become distracted by a favorite blog, Pintrest, or a search for new recipes to try.

I have felt, for a long time, robbed of my time. But who was really stealing it? ME. The internet, with all of its fabulous ideas and inspiring articles draw us in, telling us that we need it. When the idea of disconnecting the internet first came up, I battled with it. I said things like, “I don’t know, I use it for homeschooling all the time. I use it for recipes, and so many things! I have a ministry and a blog! How can I give that up?”

But then, I felt the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart, whispering to me and I knew I needed to let it go. For our family. And then I felt peace. More peace than I have felt in a really, really long time.

I’ve noticed several things since disconnecting:

1. I have more time. My days feel longer. I use to complain all the time that I just didn’t have enough time. I felt stressed an awful lot.  I have my life back.
2. When I do go to the library to get on and post to A Virtuous Woman, I have a list of things that need to get done and I do them. No distractions. No wasted time. And as a bonus, we get our library things done for school while we are there. And on nice days, we walk – fresh mountain air and healthy exercise.
3. I have re-discovered my cookbooks. I love it.
4. I’ve been able to get some projects done that have been on the back burner for, sadly, years.
5. My teens, who were bored out of their minds the first couple of days, are discovering a world outside the internet. Thank you, Lord. A true blessing indeed.
6. I just feel happier. Who knew?

I can’t count the times I would read someone’s blog, thinking their life sounded so perfect, wishing mine was, and then telling myself – “Instead of dreaming about the perfect life, get up and live it.” I have always had a pretty good life. No, a really good life. A wonderful life. But now… it seems all the more so.

The simple life… is the good life.

The view from my back porch this morning…

…was incredibly beautiful. Despite the fact that this winter has been unseasonably warm, and we are used to getting snow every week during the winter… yesterday it snowed and snowed. I think we got about five inches or so accumulated.

The girls went sledding yesterday afternoon and are currently out there enjoying the snow and their sleds. Hmm. They asked for a carrot and some raisins – to build a snowman, I suspect.

Here’s me, the height of fashion wearing pink, green, and blue stripped pajama bottoms, a green and brown flannel shirt, and green muck boots – standing on the back porch with Lucy who looks like she is kissing Charlie, the next door neighbor’s pup. Lucy is our sweet, sad little dog. She’s mostly blind and deaf (and dumb.)  Charlie likes to spend her days at my house. See how she’s sitting on the porch next to me, like she belongs??? That’s okay, we like Charlie. You can also see some of our firewood ready to be burnt up today.

Here’s my husband scraping the snow off the rental car so he can go visit his brother Steve in ICU this morning: (No, he wasn’t too keen on my taking his photo, hehe.)

So while I was standing there taking pictures of Mykal, I noticed over next to the driveway, my first flowers of spring peeking out of the snow!

Hannah and Laura have been spending warm days building this fort:

They have a lot more planned for their fort, but it stayed pretty dry in there:

Here is our little bridge that leads over the path to the fort:

One of these days maybe there will be a little fish pond under the bridge!

And finally here are some more random pictures from around my yard:

 

 

Life’s Messy. Be Thankful.

A Thanksgiving Moment

Ever felt like this?

Setting the Table

From Chaos to Calm: Day Forty

Setting the Table

Scripture Memory: “Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb.” Revelation 19:9

 Download the .pdf version of this article.

     I love the verse above! Just imagine the very first time we sit before a feast with Jesus! What a celebration it will be! Just imagine the love and joy you will feel.

Now, I want you to think about your own dinner table. What is the atmosphere like when your family sits down to eat? Do you regularly eat together around the table? Or does everyone grab a plate and run for the TV? Perhaps you find yourself to busy to cook and dinner on-the-go or fast food is the standard fare.

We have already discussed the importance of eating healthy, well-balanced meals. I want to encourage you to continue planning meals that your family will enjoy and meals that will provide the nutrition you need. I also want to encourage you to slow down and set aside the evening hours for family time if you have not already done so. Sports activities, extra-curricular activities are not always worth the time commitment they require. Children grown up sooo fast. Let your children be children, let them have free time after school for running and playing. And give yourself the treasure of being with your kids.

Children who eat at the dinner table with their parents on a regular basis are less likely to get involved with drugs and alcohol. They are also less likely to be overweight or struggle with self-esteem issues. There is a saying the kitchen is the heart of the home. I would say that the dinner table is where it really happens. Food brings a family together. Memories, priceless memories are created. And the family bond is strengthened.

When you sit down together, is your table filled with clutter pushed to the side? Do you avoid sitting together because of clutter? If so, today, I want you to make it your mission to clean up your dining area. If you have more than one area for eating (breakfast nook, dining room, etc.) clean up and clean out these spaces so that only items related to eating are present.

I love decorating my table with table cloths. I have a large stash of cloths for every season or occasion. I generally purchase my table cloths on clearance at the end of a season. This way, I never spend more than a few dollars on beautiful cloths. Otherwise, they can be very expensive!

Do you have a centerpiece? The options for centerpieces are endless. In my dining room, I currently have a large, beautiful bowl that my sister-in-law had made for me in Italy. It has a fruit theme, and the verse, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. In this bowl I have my collection of cloth napkins.

You could place a bowl filled with fresh fruit – green apples or lemons are especially pretty. You could place a potted plant in a basket, or pick flowers from your garden. Whatever you choose, make it pretty. Candles add a warm inviting feel to your table. You can change your centerpiece for the season, or for the occasion.

What about your dishes? Are they cheap and ugly? Do you serve the children on old plastic plates that are scratched and unsightly? Your family deserves the best you can give them! If you begin to collect tablecloths, don’t save them for special occasions for fear that they will be stained. Use them!  Place mats can also provide a fun look to your table. Because place mats and tablecloths are often colorful, I like to use plain white or cream colored plates. You can purchase plain dinner size plates at import stores for only $2 – $3 a piece.

Instead of purchasing many sets of dishes, use the plain white dinner plates as your base and then purchase bowls, salad plates, and dessert dishes that you love! By placing a pretty salad plate on top of your white plate when setting the table, you can have an entirely new look without spending hundreds of dollars on new sets of dishes. Flea markets and antique stores are often good places to find vintage dishes that you can dress up your table with.

You may also want to consider using cloth napkins. You can make your own quite easily out of fabrics, find vintage napkins at flea markets, or shop the clearance racks frequently to find good deals.

Setting a pretty table is worth the extra effort it takes. And really, if you are able to enlist your children’s help, it shouldn’t take but a few minutes to make your dinner table look extra special. Your family will appreciate the thought and care that went into the planning, and your husband especially will feel like a king when he comes home every evening to a well-prepared, well-thought out dinner.

 

 

Q & A: Door to Door Witnessing

 

Q: Hey Melissa,

You go door to door as a family? I am curious about this. Would love to see an article about what you do and any tips you have some time!

A: Michelle, witnessing as a family can really instill a love for others in your children. As you may know, my husband is a pastor and we are always working to spread the good news! Evangelism is a big deal in our household. I love it when my little ones say, “Mom, we should go pass out literature today.”

Now, my youngest two children are really, really shy, but they love being involved in the door to door process: carrying magazines, books, etc. and just being present while the love of Christ is shared. They don’t want to be the ones to talk, but that is okay.

Sometimes, since there are six of us (my son is in college now) we will split up into groups (we have teenagers now, too) and do every other house. We take invitations to seminars or evangelistic meetings (if we have some starting). We’ll take books or magazines out to give away.

Always pray before starting out. Ask for the Holy Spirit and the angels to be with you. Ask for the words to say.

It’s also a good idea to decide what you are going to say before you get to the door. If it’s your first time out, or your kids first time out, knowing what to say before you go out really helps.

For instance:

Hi, my name is Melissa and this is Hannah and Laura. We’re out in the neighborhood today sharing the love of Jesus with folks. Would you like a magazine? It talks about… (open up magazine and show them a pretty picture, etc.)

You can ask them if they have anything they would like you to pray with them about. Once you get started talking conversation naturally flows. Sometimes people are rude. I have had people say, “I already have a church.” and shut the door in my face or something to that effect. That’s okay. It’s not me they are rejecting. I happen to believe that loving Christians should treat those who come to their door spreading the gospel a little kinder.

“And He called the twelve to Himself, and began to send them out two by two… And whoever will not receive you nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet as a testimony against them. Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!’ So they went out and preached that people should repent.” Mark 6:7-12 NKJV

I think it would be fun to make miniature loaves of bread and take door to door in your neighborhood along with a good book or magazine or tract. You could decorate the loaves with a Bible verse like, “I am the bread of life.” John 6:48. You could also bake cookies, make cards, make bookmarks with Bible verses, etc.

There are lots of way you and your children can share the Good News with those in your community who are starving for the bread of life! In Harlan County where we live, statistically 1 out of every 3 people are unchurched (or have no church home). So in Harlan County, where there are roughly 30,000 people living, 10,000 people don’t go to church! And we live in an area that is religious! That is a lot of people who need to be touched.

“And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.” Matthew 28:18-20 NKJV

We are all called to witness to a dying world in His name. Teaching your children to do so in love will be a blessing to your entire family.

Cheerful Homes will be a Light to Neighbors

We need more sunshiny parents and more sunshiny Christians. We are too much shut up within ourselves. Too often the kindly, encouraging word, the cheery smile, are withheld from our children and from the oppressed and discouraged.

Parents, upon you rests the responisbility of being light-bearers and light-givers. Shine as lights in the home, brightening the path that your children must travel. As you do this, your light will shine to those without.

Frome every Christian home a holy light should shine forth. Love should be revelaed in action. It should flow our in all home intercourse, showing itself in thoughtful kindness, in gentle, unselfish courtesy. There are homes where this principle is carried out – homes where God is worshiped and truest love reigns. From these homes morning and evening prayer ascends to God as sweet incense, and His mercies and blessings descend upon the suppliants like the morning dew.

- Ellen White, Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 144