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The Heart of Her Husband
With Valentine’s Day approaching in just 14 days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his heart lie in fear of what is coming?
- Do you respect your husband?
- Do you pray for your husband?
- Are you a home maker?
- Can your husband trust you?
- Are you thankful?
- Do you go out of your way to be thoughtful to your husband?
- Do you have a habit of nagging your husband?
- Express your love with love notes.
- Do you manipulate your husband?
- Do you expect your husband to be perfect?
- Men are basically easy to please. Feed them good food, keep the house clean, and give them plenty of…
- What do you cook for your husband?
- You love your husband when you love your kids.
- Are you a helpmeet?
Protect your marriage. Protect the heart of your husband!
Your Beloved
From Chaos to Calm: Day Fifteen
Your Beloved
Scripture Memory: “My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.” Song of Songs 2:16
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After a while married life can get in the way of your love life! I touched on this yesterday, but I want to reinforce the importance of romantic love between you and your husband.
If you have never really read the book, Song of Songs, in the Bible, you really should! God created romance and passion. Marriage is supposed to be physically and emotionally satisfying.
As a Godly woman and as a Godly wife, you should spend time each day focusing your thoughts and efforts on your husband. Get your heart ready to receive his love in the evenings or whenever you are together. Give your love to him. Show him your love – not just with your words, but with your actions.
You have heard the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” This is certainly true when it comes to your husband. If you tell him you love him but then never accept his advances or initiate intimacy, he will feel neglected and even unloved.
Focus your heart toward him. Think of those special moments you and your hubby have shared together in the past. Just by thinking about your love and reasons why you love him will help you feel more like connecting with him on a physical basis when he is home.
A fun way to build intimacy together would be to read one chapter of the Song of Songs each night before going to bed. Talk about what you like about each other, how you like to be touched, what things you would like to do together, your dreams and common goals. Look forward to your future together. Set up a promise of love and commitment each night and pray together.
If you feel uncomfortable praying out loud with your husband (very common) practice praying out loud when you have your morning devotions. Learn to open up and be vulnerable with your husband. There is nothing more intimate than praying together!
By praying together you will be less likely to experience the sorrow of divorce, adultery, or other trauma in your marriage. Set the tone for your relationship. Problems don’t always go away immediately, but by changing your own attitude toward your husband, you will see a difference.
Be an Encouragement
From Chaos to Calm: Day Ten
Be An Encouragement
Scripture Memory: “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12
Photo Credit: Elke Rohn
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I want you to really look at the verse above. This is such a powerful and important verse. As a wife, this pertains strictly to you! We will be focusing on this verse for the next few days. Be sure to copy it into your prayer journal and read it daily! You might even want to print it onto a pretty piece of paper and stick it up on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror or someplace where you will see it often during the day.
I love the chapter of Proverbs 31. It reminds me of who God wants me to be – not who the world would have me be. “She will do him good all the days of her life.” I should ask myself this question each evening – Have I blessed my husband today with goodness or have I treated him poorly today? Reflect on that thought in the evening and if the answer is not one you like, wake up the following day with a determination to change.
Today, I want to focus specifically on encouragement. Are you an encouragement to your husband? When your husband goes out into the world and works hard, he is often bombarded by negativity. He may work with people who are not Christians. He may hear foul language on a regular basis. He might even be faced with temptations through out the day that you are completely unaware of.
When he comes home is he faced with more of the same? Do you rebuke his efforts to provide a good life for your family by being disgruntled in the evening and having a “woe is me” attitude?
Pay attention to the things you say. If you have complaints about your day, take them to the Lord in prayer. Do not unload them on your husband when he comes home. No one wants to come home to a list of unfortunate events.
You may have had a bad day. But what impression are you giving your husband if all you do when he walks in the door is cry, pout, or complain about:
· the unruly children
· the mess in the house
· the toilet that the two year old clogged
· the fact that you were lonely
· the lack of material possessions you want
· the fact that you think he should be making more money
· and the list could go on and on and on!
Remember how you believed in him when you first got married? You believed he was a great
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 14
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
Today’s Valentine’s Day… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
You can read the rest of this series here.
Are you a helpmeet?
The Bible says, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18. (NIV) Have you been a helper suitable to your husband or have you been like the foolish woman and torn apart your home and marriage with your own hands?
Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13. (NLT) We could say it this way, “There is no greater love than for a wife to die to herself daily in order to serve her husband as well as Christ with a pure heart.” It is our selfish desires our yearning to be #1 that causes us to say and do things that destroy rather than uplift. In the book, The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace she says:
Eighteen Ways a Wife May be the Glory of Her Husband
1. Ask your husband, “What are your goals for the week?”
2. Ask your husband, “How can I help you accomplish these goals?”
3. Ask your husband, “Is there anything that I can do differently that would make it easier for you?”
4. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry and cooking. As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is then free to do his work.
5. Save some of your energy every day for him.
6. Put him FIRST over the children, your parents, friends, job, ladies’ Bible studies, hobbies, etc.
7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
8. Talk about him in a positive light to and around others. Do NOT slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
9. Do whatever you can to make him look good, to accomplish his goals. Some examples are to run errands for him, organize your day to be available to help him with projects, pray for him and make good suggestions. Give him freedom to not use your suggestion, and do not be offended when he does not follow it.
10. Consider his work (job, hobbies, goals, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.
11. think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals. Examples are to get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work having had a good breakfast, take care in recording phone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Consider the things that you are involved in. How do they glorify your husband? Ask his guidance.
13. Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious.
14. Do and say things to him that build him up instead of tear him down.
15. Dress and apply your make-up in an attractive manner that is pleasing to YOUR husband.
16. When your husband sins, reprove him gently and privately, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
17. Encuorage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey your husband.
It wouldn’t hurt for you and I to post these ideas on a card in our Bible or in our Prayer and Devotion basket… or even on the refrigerator door! Let’s make this year the best year ever when it comes to loving our husbands!
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 13
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
With Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
You can read the rest of this series here.
You love your husband when you love your kids.
Are you tired and anxious, annoyed and irritated on a regular basis with your kids? Do you find yourself being short or yelling at them… all day long? Do you long for time away from your family?
I want to encourage you to take a step and back and think about your children. Really think about them. Not as little monsters who came into this world to ruin your life, but as precious gifts from God.
Nothing will teach us more about patience than motherhood. God has a plan for you and for each of your children. It is up to you and only you whether this season of motherhood brings you joy and peace and patience.
Delight in your children. Spend time with them – just being with them, talking to them, getting to know them. If you are bothered every time your child interrupts your activities or wants your attention, the irritation does not come from God but from the one who seeks to destroy. Stop what you are doing and really pay attention to your children – before it is too late! They grow up so fast and the moments you have right now will be gone forever ten minutes from now.
It’s okay to have quiet time or “me time” every now and then, but during this season of your life, God has given you the awesome responsibility of raising your children for His kingdom. The best way you can do that is to show your children by your example what it means to live for Him and then spend quality time every day training them, teaching them His ways.
Finally, show your children what a wonderful father they have. Instead of rolling your eyes when he makes a request or snapping back at him when he asks a question, love him and teach your children to love him. Make daddy the hero of your home. Don’t waste this time that God has given you. Life is too short to not enjoy the blessings around us.
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 12
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
With Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
You can read the rest of this series here.
What do you cook for your husband?
- Do you like to cook?
- Day in and day out, do you provide nutritious, home cooked, meals?
- Do you go out of your way to prepare food your husband will enjoy?
I am at home typically all day everyday. Since we homeschool, everyone (aside from my husband) is home for every meal. Rarely will we ever eat out. So, I cook a lot. I like to make a wide variety of foods from scratch including ethnic foods. My husband always “brags” about what a good cook I am to others. Having a big family means I have to cook a lot of food everyday.
I have also, over the years tried to make my cooking healthier which often means less “comfort foods.” I realized one day a few years ago that my husband just isn’t as happy if all I cook is “light” salads, Mediterranean style meals, etc. He really feels taken care of and loved if I cook his favorite comfort foods. So, I try to make his favorite foods several times a week. Maybe your husband is the opposite and really wants to eat only low-fat or vegan dishes. Whatever it is that makes your husband feel loved when he sits down to dinner should be made a priority in your meal planning.
Even if you think your husband should eat more vegetables, don’t dismiss his favorite meals! Instead, try to find ways to cut out the fat and add more nutrients. You could even try some recipes from the book Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld and learn how to disguise veggies in your recipes.
I have met a lot of women over the years who claim to be terrible cooks. Maybe you are one of them. If you burn everything you bake and can’t seem to get it right, I want to encourage you to get a basic cookbook and choose a new recipe several times a week to try. Follow the instructions carefully and then pay attention! Burned food only happens when we get distracted! Practice makes perfect. Do it for your husband and for your children. Food creates memories that will be carried in the hearts of your family for a lifetime. It is so important!
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 11
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
With Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
You can read the rest of this series here.
Men are basically easy to please. Feed them good food, keep the house clean, and give them plenty of…
Okay, so husband’s aren’t usually too hard to keep happy if they are getting the big three at home from their wife. Good food, a clean house, and a wife who doesn’t withhold sex. Today, I want to focus a little bit on the sex issue because I figure you might want to have a few days to think about how you are going to drive him wild on Sunday night.
First, let’s talk about the bedroom. It should be neat, tidy, and fresh smelling. In other words, your bedroom should not be full of clutter, laundry, dust, etc. and the bed linens should smell good. So, if your bedroom is looking a little less than it’s best, go ahead and give it a good once over today and tomorrow.
If you visit Real Relationships, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot have a newsletter you can sign up for and when you sign up you get a little e-booklet called 7 Secrets. #2 deals with sex. Their secret for a happy married life full of great sex for women is this: seduce your husband wildly at least once a week. He’ll be a happy man and far less likely to be tempted by women he meets on a daily basis when he is away from home.
Go the extra mile this weekend. Light some candles. Run him a bath (maybe even join him?), wear something sexy. Be his fantasy this weekend…. and then try to make it a weekly occurrence.
“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 10
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
With Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
You can read the rest of this series here.
Do you expect your husband to be perfect?
You probably thought your husband was pretty near perfect when you met, maybe even in the first days and weeks of your marriage. And then real life happened and he disappointed you. Now, you can’t understand why your husband doesn’t know what you want when you want it, he isn’t nearly as thoughtful as he should be, he makes a mess like a child and doesn’t clean up, he doesn’t watch the kids the way you would, he doesn’t see the need for romance, etc.
Now, when he disappoints you, you feel resentment toward him, maybe even indifferent and you let him know just how unhappy you are with his thoughtless behavior. You want him to provide you with every want, every need, every desire and be your perfect companion.
Unfortunately, you married a mortal man, a sinful human being.
Only Jesus Christ can fill all the desires of your heart. If you are looking to your husband to complete you in every way possible, you will always be disappointed. He is not perfect, nor will he ever be until you are together in heaven.
Christ came to this earth and lived here among a sinful race. He died an excruciating death for you… and for your husband. Neither one of you deserve the grace of God, but it is a gift you will receive if you only reach out and take it.
Sin is such a wicked, putrefying thing in the sight of God. And yet, He loved us enough to show us grace even though we will never deserve it as long as we are living in this sinful world. Grace is not something we deserve it is a gift.
Perhaps today you can stop seeing all of the shortcomings in your husband and start seeing him the way God sees him – as a precious child of the King. Someone who deserves love at all costs. Someone who deserves forgiveness – not because he is so great, but because God was loving enough to forgive you. Love him, because in the end, what else really matters?
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 9
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
With Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
You can read the rest of this series here.
Do you manipulate your husband?
I was listening to Focus on the Family on the radio this morning. The guest speaker mentioned something I wanted to share. She talked about how, often, women will manipulate their husbands to get their way. There are hundreds of ways to manipulate your husband.
- You could pout and give the silent treatment.
- You could refuse to be physically intimate.
- You could work behind the scenes to get your way.
- You could make your husband feel inferior or inept at making decisions.
- You could get your kids to ask for something you really want.
Have you ever done any of these things… or maybe manipulated your husband in other ways? When wives manipulate their husbands into getting their way, it can cause hurt and resentment on his part. He may no longer trust you. He may feel that no matter what decisions he makes you are never happy. He may feel betrayed and angry. He may feel like he cannot trust you with his feeling, his thoughts, his dreams.
If you find yourself wanting your way no matter the cost, pray about! Ask God to give you a submissive heart and to help you trust your husband as the head of your household. Instead of manipulating the situation, ask God to give your husband wisdom to make the right choices. Your marriage will be stronger for it.
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 8
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
With Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
You can read the rest of this series here.
Express your love… with love notes.
I don’t know about you, but when my husband and I were dating all those years ago, the moments we were forced to spend apart were agonizing. We wanted to be together forever… all the time. So, when we did have to be apart, we wrote love letters to one another. Sweet, beautiful words of love. Those letter from our years before marriage are gathered together in a box in my husband’s office as a reminder of our love.
Well, it never hurts to express your love in written form – even if you’ve been married for years! In fact, writing love letters to your spouse is one way you can really tell your husband how much he means to you. Be open and honest, but leave out any negatives that may be present in your mind. This is a time to express love words in flowery prose. If you need to, pretend you’re back in time and remember those delicious feelings you had for your guy way back when. Young love is so sweet! It never hurts to pump up your husband’s ego – he will appreciate the praise!
“My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.” Song of Solomon 2:16
Try leaving love notes for the next 7 days around the house, in his lunch, on the bathroom mirror (in lipstick, of course), in his car, etc. He’ll enjoy the sentiment.
