31 Days of Calm in My Chaos
Expectations can ruin your life. Your expectations. Other people’s expectations.
Do you ever feel like other people expect too much of you? Or maybe you expect too much from yourself? So much so that you’re leaning toward perfectionism?
About a year ago, I began setting boundaries. Now, it’s not like I never had boundaries, but often, I felt like other people’s expectations of me were unfair. I often felt like people had no conception of what I really had to do each day – how much was on my plate. And foolishly, I allowed family and friends to take advantage of my “people pleasing tendencies.”
I learned the hard what that saying no to other people’s expectations is sometimes necessary and right. I also learned that it’s okay for me to not be perfect.
On the flip side of that is my expectations of other people. Are my expectations ruining my life or my family member’s lives? Do I expect my husband or my children to be perfect – or darn near perfect?
Of course, standards are important. As moms it’s our job to train our children to be good, loving people who possess a good work ethic and a sense of right and wrong.
But it’s not our job to ensure our children never make a mistake or face adversity. It’s not our job to see to it that our children are as perfect as children can be.
It’s our job to love them unconditionally while showing them by example what it means to be imperfect followers of Christ.
The same goes with our husbands. It’s not my job to make sure my husband is always the perfect spiritual leader, never says words he shouldn’t say, or never makes a mistake.
Especially in Christian marriages, our expectations of our spouse are often higher because we feel like our Christian spouse should know better. So when mistakes are made, we feel self-righteous and indignant.
Remember this verse? “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:5
We are not called to judge our husbands. We are called to love them unconditionally.
You see, Christ loves us unconditionally. He is always faithful to forgive. He doesn’t hold our past mistakes against us. He lifts us up and offers encouragement when we are discouraged. He comforts us when we are sad. He lived His life as an example that we might follow in His footsteps.
Christ gave His life for us while we were yet sinners. His love knows no bounds! If His love for us is so great, should we not be willing to love others with the same unconditional love?
The Proverbs 31 Woman
The Proverbs 31 Woman stretches out her hand to the needy. She doesn’t judge them. She doesn’t talk down to them or make them feel bad for needing help.
Our families need us. They need us to love them, support them, encourage and comfort them. They need us to love them unconditionally.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:7
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