31 Days of Calm Series: Unconditional Love {Day 18} "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. " 1 Corinthians 13:7 @ AVirtuousWoman.org

31 Days of Calm: Unconditional Love {Day 18}

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here. 31 Days of Calm in My Chaos Expectations. Expectations can ruin your life. Your expectations. Other people’s expectations. [Tweet “Expectations can ruin your life. Find out how:”] Do you ever feel like other people expect too much of you? Or maybe you…

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31 Days of Calm Series: Unconditional Love {Day 18} "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. " 1 Corinthians 13:7 @ AVirtuousWoman.org

31 Days of Calm in My Chaos

Expectations.

Expectations can ruin your life. Your expectations. Other people’s expectations.

[Tweet “Expectations can ruin your life. Find out how:”]

Do you ever feel like other people expect too much of you? Or maybe you expect too much from yourself? So much so that you’re leaning toward perfectionism?

About a year ago, I began setting boundaries. Now, it’s not like I never had boundaries, but often, I felt like other people’s expectations of me were unfair. I often felt like people had no conception of what I really had to do each day – how much was on my plate. And foolishly, I allowed family and friends to take advantage of my “people pleasing tendencies.”

I learned the hard what that saying no to other people’s expectations is sometimes necessary and right. I also learned that it’s okay for me to not be perfect.

On the flip side of that is my expectations of other people. Are my expectations ruining my life or my family member’s lives? Do I expect my husband or my children to be perfect – or darn near perfect?

Of course, standards are important. As moms it’s our job to train our children to be good, loving people who possess a good work ethic and a sense of right and wrong.

But it’s not our job to ensure our children never make a mistake or face adversity. It’s not our job to see to it that our children are as perfect as children can be.

It’s our job to love them unconditionally while showing them by example what it means to be imperfect followers of Christ.

The same goes with our husbands. It’s not my job to make sure my husband is always the perfect spiritual leader, never says words he shouldn’t say, or never makes a mistake.

Especially in Christian marriages, our expectations of our spouse are often higher because we feel like our Christian spouse should know better. So when mistakes are made, we feel self-righteous and indignant.

Remember this verse? “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:5

We are not called to judge our husbands. We are called to love them unconditionally.

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You see, Christ loves us unconditionally. He is always faithful to forgive. He doesn’t hold our past mistakes against us. He lifts us up and offers encouragement when we are discouraged. He comforts us when we are sad. He lived His life as an example that we might follow in His footsteps.

Christ gave His life for us while we were yet sinners. His love knows no bounds! If His love for us is so great, should we not be willing to love others with the same unconditional love?

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Christ gave his life for us while we were yet sinners. His love knows no bounds! @ AVirtuousWoman.org

The Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 Woman stretches out her hand to the needy. She doesn’t judge them. She doesn’t talk down to them or make them feel bad for needing help.

Our families need us. They need us to love them, support them, encourage and comfort them. They need us to love them unconditionally.

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:7

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31 Days of Calm Series: Unconditional Love {Day 18} "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. " 1 Corinthians 13:7 @ AVirtuousWoman.org

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11 Comments

  1. Excellent article. Expectations are sneaky lies of the enemy. I love Psalm 62:5 ~ My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
  2. This post really hits home. I have been so guilty of "placing high expectations" on specific family gatherings, and then feeling totally defeated when things do not go as planned. I'm learning to live and love "in the moment" and it is helping my outlook immensely.
  3. Yes, yes, yes! You are so right, expectations can destroy us. Unconditional love is something I try so hard to teach my boys. And yes, expectations can certainly hurt a marriage. Our pastor's sermons have been over the book of Luke since about February. A recent sermon focused on this very verse: “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:5 And I am guilty if having expectations that are too high for him and for our children. All of this said we should also remember that just because we remind someone what the scripture says, this does not make us judgmental. The Lord is the only one who can judge. It is HIS scripture, I am simply guiding.
  4. I was telling a very close friend of mine yesterday about love and having the ability to love yourself and in turn, have unconditional love for the people we care about I hadn't realized that he might have missed out on that growing up. Hince his inabilities to forgive himself and his confusion as to how I could be so willingly forgiven. It's just a testament to what love is.

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