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Setting Goals for Your Marriage @ AVirtuousWoman.org

Setting Goals for Your Marriage

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here.

Setting Marriage Goals @ AVirtuousWoman.org

I want to welcome my newest contributor here at A Virtuous Woman, Becky Moseley from Tales of Beauty from Ashes as she talks about setting goals for marriage with us!

Setting Marriage Goals

When my husband and I first got married, it was a dream come true. He was better than I ever could have imagined. He was kind, thoughtful and just so…dreamy.

He was my true knight in shining armor. 

As the months wore on and the label of newlywed slowly fell off us, like an old sticker, things got a little harder. My husband and I were still madly in love, but sometimes, we argued over silly things.

A few years into the marriage, a baby came.

Then, another.

One day, I looked at my knight in shining armor and noticed that his armor wasn’t so shiny. Rather, he looked like a haggard knight in dusty, rusty armor. So what happened? Did my husband change? Did I change?

Life happened.

When I dated my husband and even when we were first married, I made a huge effort to study my man. I wanted to know how he thought, what he liked, why he did things. I wanted to please him. I wanted to take it my mission to love him with all I had in me and be the best wife I could be. I worked at learning about how to be a wife of integrity. I studied, I prayed, I longed to grow.

But then, life happened.

I started thinking about myself more. Rather than wondering what he was thinking or how I could serve him, my thoughts started shifting to how he wasn’t meeting MY needs. I started caring more about things I was interested in than my marriage or my husband’s interests. I didn’t put in the work needed to make our marriage great.

[Tweet “Like a piece of armor gets dusty over time, marriage can become rusted, if we don’t work at it.”]

Here’s the thing. Marriage is hard. It takes work. If you aren’t working on your marriage to make it better, then it is probably getting worse. Just as a piece of armor gets dusty over time, so our marriages can grow layers of dust and become rusted, if we don’t continue to work and maintain them.

This year, I set goals for my marriage. I am committing to reading a marriage book each month. I want to make my marriage better; I want to focus on serving my husband more than myself.

I am committing to spend time each day with my spouse, talking and learning about him. What about you and your marriage? Do you have goals for your marriage?

If you are interested in challenging yourself to make your marriage better, I want to recommend you read my new e-book, The 30 Day Marriage Challenge. It is filled with daily challenges to take your marriage from mediocre to amazing. I wrote this book to challenge myself to become a better wife.

For a whole month, I worked on something daily to make my marriage better and my husband noticed. He started commenting on how fun our marriage was. He mentioned how grateful he was to have me for a wife. I could see a huge difference in how our marriage was at the beginning of this challenge and the end.

So I wrote this book for me and my marriage, but I published it for you and yours. Be forewarned, the challenges aren’t always easy. Sometimes they are hard, other times they take vulnerability and humility.

But they are so worth it. Please consider checking out my e-book for sale today at Amazon.

Becky traded in her teaching degree for diapers and dishes. Her blog, Tales of Beauty for Ashes, has tricks for anything from how to have a better marriage, to a better way to organize measuring cups. When not writing, you might find her reading a book, playing in the kitchen or loving on her family. Find her on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.

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About Melissa Ringstaff

My name is Melissa Ringstaff and I've been blogging here at A Virtuous Woman since 2001. I'm a pastor's wife and homeschooling mom living in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains of Southeastern KY. I believe in finding freedom from perfection and living life with purpose and I want to help you do exactly that.

I'm so glad you've stopped by to visit with me. I hope we can be friends!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lou

    February 19, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    This helps a great deal!!! My husband and I are undergoing marriage counseling and after last night's session...i felt defeated! I feel, sometimes, I am in a battle and what's worse...this is just the beginning. Even though he doesn't want to give me "any false hope" I am still hopeful that we can make it through our problems.
    Reply
    • Angie tester

      February 24, 2015 at 4:31 pm

      Hi Lou, Blessings to you. I hope you can work things out x A life in Jesus Christ is the answer
      Reply
  2. Danielle Wells

    February 22, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    greatpost! I'm glad I wandered over from a link party tonight! The title caught my eye! I'm always trying to improve my marriage and I write about this topic quite a bit as I learn things I want to share with others! The 30 day challenge book sounds wonderful! ON my way to check it out now :) Thanks for posting!
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      February 22, 2015 at 11:22 pm

      Danielle, thanks so much for stopping by!
      Reply
  3. Bismah

    February 22, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    Marriage is definitely not easy. It takes lots of love and energy! Stopping by from "Inspire Me Monday". Have a wonderful day!
    Reply
  4. Melissa

    February 23, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    I agree. It is so easy to let our marriage go by the wayside. If we spent as much time and effort getting an "A" in our marriages as we did in our college courses, we would have much better marriages.
    Reply
  5. Brandi @ penguinsinpink.com

    February 23, 2015 at 9:36 pm

    These are great tips. Thanks so much for sharing them. Stopping by from the Lou Lou Girls Fabulous Party. Pinning and sharing on FB.
    Reply
  6. Jenny Lynn

    February 24, 2015 at 7:47 am

    Very lovely thoughts. Marriage is a lot of work. It is about giving and so much more. The challenge sounds interesting.
    Reply
  7. Charlene

    January 7, 2016 at 9:45 am

    Marriage is such hard work and so many people let it take a back seat to "life." But that's so dangerous! Thanks for the reminder that things can slip away so easily. Definitely going to check out your book!
    Reply

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Hi There! My name is Melissa Ringstaff and I believe that being a Proverbs 31 Woman isn't about being perfect. Here at A Virtuous Woman you'll find freedom from perfection and the confidence to live your life with purpose.


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purposenotperfection

Freedom from perfection. 🪁
Live with purpose. ✝️
Proverbs 31 for modern women. 👱‍♀️
Wife + Mama + Homemaker + Kentucky
Life: @melissa.ringstaff

Melissa Ringstaff
Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just because there was a pandemic. Our family has faced many trying times in the past but 2020 gave us some doozies.  I’m looking forward to a new year. The beginning of the new year always feels like a fresh start to me. It feels like HOPE.  But the truth is, whatever heartaches and hardships you and I were facing on Dec. 31 will most likely still be there on Jan. 1.  That’s why it’s hard to keep New Years resolutions. It’s easy to feel motivated for a few days or a couple weeks until we realize life hasn’t really changed and things are still hard.  But if we want to see real change it takes hard work and real effort. It takes showing up every day - even when it’s hard.  Whether that means working on your fractured relationships or setting healthy boundaries or cultivating self disciple... whatever that hard thing is that you need to work on ... it will only get better if you work on it.  We aren’t promised an easy life. But we are promised an “Ever Present Help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1  *
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth#proverbs31women #proverbs31life #10virtues #daughteroftheking #jesuslovesme #womenoffaith #faithquotes #proverbs31
We’re coming into the new year with all the same We’re coming into the new year with all the same problems we had in the last year. And that’s okay! Life doesn’t have to be perfect to still be amazing. Perfectionism is a joy stealer. Let’s determine to enjoy life right now in all its messiness.  I believe you can find freedom from perfection and the confidence to live your life with purpose. #purposenotperfection  #christian #Jesus #love #quotes #quoteslife #quotestoliveby #godisgood #votd #lifequotes #inspirationalquotes #life #motivationalquotes #inspiration #bible #bb #bestoftheday #happiness #wordofgod
🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. 🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. It’s a ministry to your family and all who enter your home.  But I want you to know: You don’t have to be perfect. ❤️  There’s a fine line between teaching your children to be neat and insisting on perfection. No one can meet that kind of standard and it can be detrimental to the emotional health of your family.  What we want for our homes is to provide a space that is neat and clean enough that your family and friends feel comfortable and well loved.  There is freedom in accepting the fact that you’re not perfect. Not to make excuses for slovenliness - but to give yourself grace.  It’s when we recognize our weakness that we find ourselves reaching out to Jesus to receive the power that comes only from him. As homemakers, when we can find grace for the moment when we accept His Gift.  “But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the LORD our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. Ezra 9:8  Let His Grace wash over you, cleanse your weary heart. Homemaking isn’t about creating a perfect space. It’s about creating a home where loved ones feel cared for and nurtured. 
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #wearethehomemakers
❤️Your attitude about homemaking matters.⠀
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A homemaker by definition is someone who manages and makes a home. 🏠⠀
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But, anyone can clean and organize a home. ⠀
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☑️ Homemaking is about more than checking off the items on your to do list.⠀
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Learning how to be a homemaker means you learn how to make your home feel like haven of peace and love. You seek out ways to make your home feel inviting. You work at it.⠀
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There is no easy button for homemaking. There are easier, more efficient ways to do chores, but the chores still have to be done. If you live in a house, you will create the need for the house to be tidied every day and cleaned on a regular basis.⠀
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Having the right attitude about homemaking is the first step in learning how to be a homemaker.⠀
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The good news is, even if you’ve been struggling with your homemaking, you can always go to God and ask Him for help. ⠀
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He sees the unseen work of your hands. And He loves you very, very much. He wants to help you succeed. ⠀
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking  #youngwife #housewife
🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regu 🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regular time with Jesus every day, you’re not alone. Lots of busy Christian women struggle to find time for a daily prayer and devotion time. ⠀
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But I still want to encourage you to start your day with God! ⠀
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⏰ If it’s hard to spend 30 minutes in the morning for a quiet time, I want you to remember you can still begin your day with God – even if that means saying a short prayer before your feet hit the floor in the morning.⠀
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✝️ I also want to encourage you to memorize this verse:⠀
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“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.⠀
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8 📖⠀
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In the morning you can recite this verse and say a prayer. It doesn’t have to take a long time. Although – if you do have time – you will be greatly blessed by spending more time in prayer and devotion.⠀
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📌 Free Printable Morning Prayer Prompts on the blog today: https://avirtuouswoman.org/morning-prayer-prompts/  #linkinbio ⠀
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth #Christ #Church #Christian #Jesus #Jesuslover #JesusChrist #JesusisLord #CreatorGod #Devotional #verseoftheday #Love #Faith #biblestudy #God #dailydevotional
🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be inte 🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be intentional with how I plan our days. I love any opportunity to create a good memories at home for my family and guests. ⠀⠀
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📌 If you're looking to make this holiday season really special, you need to be intentional. Goodness knows 2020 has had a lot of ups and downs. And maybe you feel like it's been mostly downs. ⠀⠀
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🎄 But the holiday season is a chance to focus on celebrating the life we have right now. Things don't need to be perfect for us to celebrate life right now!!⠀⠀
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☑️ Inside the pages of my Purpose 31 holiday planner, you'll find 8 weeks of planning and cleaning all laid out for you. Recipe pages, journaling pages, and more - 120 pages total. ⠀⠀
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✏️ The Purpose 31 Holiday Planner is by far one of the most popular resource I produce each year. ⠀⠀
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Thousands of women have downloaded it over the last four years I've offered it.⠀⠀
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So, even though it's early still, you can go ahead and downlaod it. Print it out and then set it up so you're ready to go.⠀⠀
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I usually take my holiday planner down to Office Depot and have them spiral bind it with a plastic cover for about $5.00. This year, though, I just bought a new 3 ring binder at Walmart, printed off extra cover pages to slip in the clear sleeve, and created a binder with it. ⠀⠀
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📌📌📌 If you use the planner this year, be sure to share and tag me in your photos! ❤️⠀  Download: https://avirtuouswoman.org/holiday-planner/ #linkinbio
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #christmas #holidayplanning #planningaddict #plannercommunity #freeprintables #thanksgiving #christmastree  #plannerobsessed
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