When my oldest kids {the first three} were still little, bedtime was difficult to say the least. No one wanted to go to bed. What they wanted was me. Inevitably a lot of crying ensued.
I was a young mom, and at that time I really looked forward to bedtime. I wanted some time to myself. There isn’t really anything wrong with wanting some down time in the evening, so don’t think that’s what I’m saying. It’s just that it was so frustrating for everyone involved.
My oldest is 24 years old now. I’ve been a mom for quite a while now! I have some regrets – things I wish I could go back in time and change. One of those would be how I handled bedtime with my oldest kids early on.
By the time I had my fourth child, Hannah, my ideas of parenting had changed considerably. My older three were now 9, 6, and 4 and bedtimes were naturally becoming easier.
I spent my fourth pregnancy reading a lot of books and articles on “gentle” parenting and so my philosophies changed. And as my ideas of parenting changed, so did the way I parented all of my kids.
- I learned to be more patient.
- I forced myself to speak softly, gently.
- I enjoyed my kids much more.
So when Hannah came along, I breastfed exclusively for a year {which I had done with my third child}. We co-slept and loved it. I no longer felt inconvenienced when my little needed me. I finally really loved being a mom.
By the time Hannah was two years old, we were still co-sleeping, but I was pregnant with my fifth baby and my husband and I moved a toddler bed into our room next to our bed for Hannah to learn to sleep in. She had her own room with a double bed and a crib, but we rarely used the crib.
Why I Still Tuck My Teens In Bed at Night
And this is where it gets really good. By the time Hannah was two she was talking in full sentences and we had the best conversations. At bed time we would snuggle down together and I would ask her questions and she would think of answers and we would chat.
Every night I asked her what she wanted to dream about and she would come up with the most fanciful ideas. We would talk about Jesus and heaven and so many wonderful things. I loved every minute of it.
I handled bedtime the same with Laura when she came along. Such precious memories! I wish I had done that with my older ones when they were little. Of course, I can’t change the past.
But, I learned to really enjoy the time I had with all of my kids every day. I’d rather have special moments with my kids while they are still home than I would some time alone.
Which is why I still tuck my teens in bed at night. The best conversations seem to happen just before bed. It usually takes me about an hour to get everyone “tucked in” at night. Sarah {20 years old} and Emily {18 years old} share a room and Hannah {14 years old} and Laura {11 years old} share a room.
We are together most of the day, on most days. We have conversations off and on all day long. But it seems like at night, they just want to unload all kinds of questions and ideas and get my opinion about things.
We are very close. They know I care enough to listen. They trust my opinion because they know how much I value each one of them as a person. They know I like them.
I really like my kids – they are amazing people!
And so I still tuck them in at night and I will as long as they continue to live at home.
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