shalom

I guess I did not understand you and I am so sorry. I appreciate you and all the work you did in looking up these scriptures. I am a little tired today. I am not sure how we get to the Facebook page for avirtuouswoman I can’t find it
I am not part of it, however if I find it I will attach it to you someway . Thank You

You are free to use that in any way that is helpful. It is written, “freely you have been given, freely give”. It can’t hurt to encourage people to look at the site, but it’s not about copyright and ownership—-copy and distribute as much as you want freely. All wisdom belongs to HIM. Hopefully it helps–it has helped us GREATLY : )

on a side note, I too am on facebook…can I find you on there? (i’m not good at finding people on facebook–how do you do it?)

Since I read your post over a week ago I have been feeling very troubled for you and compelled to reply. Troubled not because your husband isnt helping around the house and to cook meals, but troubled because of the attitude that you have towards your husband. To be blunt with you, 1# it is the womans role to be homemaker (as per God’s Word), so even if you are working, that does not excuse your responsibilities around the home (God’s word never changes), 2# if you working long hours is getting in the way of your role at home (which should come before working outside the home), then i suggest you either cut back the hours, or apply for another job. If you working many hours is unpleasing to your husband and it is getting in the way of you marriage, and causing you to argue, its not worth it – however it is worth getting rid of the stumbling block between you, lest you both end up having a bitter heart against one another. As married Christian women, our job is to serve God – He has placed us under our husbands authority, and it our job to be submissive and obedient to him – otherwise we are disobeying God. The issue in your marriage is not that your husband is not helping, but that you are not content with your role – you are fighting between work (your own desires) and housework (God’s role for you) – it is an inner struggle between the flesh and the Spirit. You cannot control what your husband does, however If you choose to let go of those things in your life and marriage that are not in your control (your hubby not helping) and leave them solely up to God to deal with, God will transform your attitude, your heart and your marriage in ways that you could not fathom. Imagine having a glorious marriage where you as the wife are content and cheerful about doing the things that are pleasing to your husband (and in obedience to God), not murmuring and complaining, and in return winning your husbands love and favour towards you because you have chosen to not let the ‘little things’ get in the way of your marriage and to not nag him. It is possible, but only if you give this inner struggle over to God and plead with Him to help make you the Godly wife that He has intended for you to be.

I suggest 2 things for you: 1, perhaps try talking to your husband about it and see if there is some sort of arrangement that you can come to (the ladies who replied to this post before me have some great suggestions you could try using), and 2. if the way that you feel loved and appreciated by your husband is for him to help you in your job (cooking, cleaning etc) and he does not do those things, it is not up to you to condemn and to pass judgement on him, it is God’s responsibility to deal with him – God has told your husband that his job is to love his wife, if your husband does not show love towards you – the issue is between your husband and God, not your husband and you. Just the same as if you are disobedient to your husband and not submitting your desires in life under him, then the issue is your disobedience to God.

I have been praying for you and your marriage and will continue to pray that God gives you the strength to give Him your troubles (Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you 1 Pet 5:7) and that He will supply the grace you need to submit to your husband.

I can understand how you feel. I remember a time in my own marriage that I had to work, I was a manager and had to work long hours. I know it was most of the time more than 10. I paid for the food the small bills such as utilities. My childs school lunch and at this time we were also growing in church more than we ever had. I still had to work longer hours. My child was thirteen and we were in an overseas assignment. My daughter was allowed to work. At the time aquired a job near me so that she was not home alone long hours. Paying for her school cloths and tithing. I remember buying my husband a new Gold wedding band . However, some how our house was cleaner than you would have believed. Then all of a sudden I had to have surgery and it was so hard for me to go back to work. For a very long time. 12 years after that I had another surgery. My family has learn to do things for each other and I have learn to let go and let God. When I stayed home we did not have many things as before. I knew the Bible teaches us there is a time to heal. This had to be my time to heal and be stronger. God will help you stay close to him. Stay obediant. God Bless you as one pastor use to say Let go and Let God

Also, on a more practical level, yes, do the schedules on Melissa’s page and relax – if it isn’t done, it isn’t done.

Don’t waste your energy arguing with your husband!!!! (Use it by making the house nice – I mean NICE – for yourself too – chuck out anything that isn’t either useful or beautiful and, one tip I like, do a 15 minute clean-up every day – fluff up the cushions, buy some flowers, make sure the bathroom and kitchen are clean at least!!

Keep at it and may I suggest that you ASK your husband to do something too (instead of “I’m earning the bacon etc.???”