I want to be real honest with you today. Sometimes life really sucks.
As a woman who is on the other side of complete burn out and has learned to enjoy life again, I can honestly say that at least six years of my life – 2007 to 2013 – were really, really hard.
And sometimes I wanted to tell someone how I felt, but saying it out loud sounded horrible. selfish. wrong.
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But the truth is, sometimes life deals us a hand we didn’t ask for. Some examples might be:
- Like when a parent needs constant care.
- Or when your husband has an affair.
- Or when your kid gets cancer.
- Or when your kid has a disability.
- Or when you have a chronic illness.
- Or when your teenager gets pregnant.
So many ways for a wife, mother, daughter, woman to feel shattered and alone.
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You walk into a room – maybe a church, work, a social gathering – and you plaster a smile on your face when really you don’t feel like smiling. You wish you could tell everyone your darkest secret – that life isn’t what you’d dreamed it would be.
I’ll never forget watching Susan Boyle sing this song and the tears I shed:
I still cry every. time. I watch this video.
But in 2009, when Susan Boyle hit the stage, I was still in the trenches just trying to survive the battle. The words spoke to my heart on so many levels.
I Dreamed a Dream
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When the hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame
still I dream she’ll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So diff’rent from this hell I’m living
So diff’rent now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
Has your life killed the dream you dreamed?
It might feel that way right now. But God has a plan for your life that is beyond anything you could ever dream.
You may be in a season of trial and hardship. I’ve been there. And I know it’s hard.
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
God sees your struggle. He knows your pain. He’s there in the midst of it all, cheering you on. My very favorite verse of all time is a verse that I had probably read dozens of times without it standing out in my mind. But when I needed it most, it filled my heart with hope and I’ve clung to it ever since.
“The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
The fight is HIS! And we know He has already won the battle. God wants to have victory in your life right now. Set realistic goals, however small, for your future. For tomorrow. Ask God to help you. And rejoice when you reach your goals.
I want to encourage you to bask in the small joys that fill your day. Find hope in the everyday moments:
- listening to the birds singing
- sipping of a cup herb tea
- listening to your child laugh
- climbing into bed on fresh sheets
- tasting your favorite meal
It’s when we find joy in the simple things that life feels fuller – even in the midst of crisis.
Photos are funny things. They show us a picture of life – but it’s not the complete picture. A picture represents a part, but not the whole story. And sometimes when we know the truth about the story – our story – the pictures can feel empty, a gross misrepresentation of what life was really like.
The happy smiles hiding the real pain.
I understand.
But I look at photos a little differently.
I don’t believe that my whole life – however hard it may have been in the past or present – was/is 100% horrible. Because even in the midst of crisis and turmoil, I have many moments of true joy.
The smiles of my kids are real. They fun we’ve had – it’s real. The joy I’ve felt and the successes I’ve had are real, too. Not just the pain.
Life is complex. It’s multifaceted – amazingly good and sometimes crazy messy.
But joy is fleeting. If you don’t catch it in the moment, you can lose sight of it. You have to pay attention to joy when it happens to really feel it. Be grateful for every single blessing, however small.
I use Instagram, and really all of the photos I take {about 1000 – 1200 each month} to record the simple joys, the blessings I find each day.
Permission to Share
Sometimes, though, it can be healing to share your painful story. Say it out loud. Share it with someone who won’t judge you for feeling like you do.
So today, I’m giving you permission to share your own truth. The Ugly Truth you’ve been afraid to say out loud.
Because the human experience is complex and rarely perfect and we need to support and encourage one another when we are struggling.
“Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8
Because it’s not a sin to feel overwhelmed, hurt, scared, or disappointed. It’s life. It happens. It’s time to accept the truth of your story, however ugly and messy, and claim the promises of Christ to give you a new life.
What is your Ugly Truth?
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