The Heart of Her Husband: Day 9

heart

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11

With Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?

You can read the rest of this series here.

Do you manipulate your husband?

I was listening to Focus on the Family  on the radio this morning. The guest speaker mentioned something I wanted to share. She talked about how, often, women will manipulate their husbands to get their way. There are hundreds of ways to manipulate your husband.

- You could pout and give the silent treatment.

- You could refuse to be physically intimate.

- You could work behind the scenes to get your way.

- You could make your husband feel inferior or inept at making decisions.

- You could get your kids to ask for something you really want.

Have you ever done any of these things… or maybe manipulated your husband in other ways? When wives manipulate their husbands into getting their way, it can cause hurt and resentment on his part. He may no longer trust you. He may feel that no matter what decisions he makes you are never happy. He may feel betrayed and angry. He may feel like he cannot trust you with his feeling, his thoughts, his dreams.

If you find yourself wanting your way no matter the cost, pray about! Ask God to give you a submissive heart and to help you trust your husband as the head of your household. Instead of manipulating the situation, ask God to give your husband wisdom to make the right choices. Your marriage will be stronger for it.

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Melissa Ringstaff

Melissa Ringstaff is a pastor’s wife, serving with her husband in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains of Southeastern Kentucky. She is a homeschooling mother of five plus four and Grandarlin’ to 14 (so far) grandchildren. Melissa has been blogging at A Virtuous Woman since 2001. She has written several titles including Spring Cleaning for the Heart and Home, The Homemaker’s Journal: Keeping House, and Christmas ADVENTures in Prophecy.

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6 Comments on The Heart of Her Husband: Day 9

  1. Syl Davies
    February 9, 2010 at 9:53 pm (4 years ago)

    I am being blessed so much by your series, that I’m still trying to take it all in. My husband and I would be married for 19 years in July this year. I was 22 when we got married and we had our first child a year later; so now we have a 17 yr old, 9, and twin 3 yr old, all 4 boys. After reading through your series I realised that I was guilty of a ‘whole lot of things’, but it is time to rekindle our love. I have been a homemaker for the past 10 years and my husband is a dedicated husband and father. His priority after God, is to make sure his family is well taken care of, he has loved me over the years, no matter how much I nag. Wow! this is an eye opener, thank you so very much. I have employed a lot of what I’ve been learning from you, and it feels like I have a brand new relationship! Thank you.

    Reply
  2. Michelle
    February 11, 2010 at 9:34 am (4 years ago)

    Although I have finally noted this about myself, it is still challenging at times. I know that God will move him in His divinely ordered direction and I must ask God to give me peace in the mean time to accept whatever and whenever it comes. Thanks for the reminder.

    Reply
  3. Judy
    February 11, 2010 at 1:27 pm (4 years ago)

    Well I agree Melissa but it takes some thinking about. Surely God also wants us to make our points of view known, doesn’t he?

    Isn’t it valid for a woman to have what she wants sometimes too? I’m not talking about selfish needs here, but legitimate ones, whatever.

    I don’t like manipulation, but surely, it is right for her to assert herself, isn’t it?

    Maybe I really don’t understand totally the word submission.

    Reply
  4. Melissa Ringstaff
    February 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm (4 years ago)

    Judy, I agree – voice your opinion if you have one, but do it in a way that is pleasing to God. If your husband disagrees – pray about it. But there is a difference in manipulating and stating your opinion.

    Reply
  5. Judy
    February 12, 2010 at 2:48 pm (4 years ago)

    Thank you for that Melissa – it helped me enormously.

    Reply
  6. Cora
    February 15, 2010 at 2:21 pm (4 years ago)

    Hello Melissa

    I think there are times we have to manipulate each other in a marriage. I feel the only time I do it is to get my husband going, to build a fire in the fireplace, to encourage good health. I grew up making my things from scratch working hard to get what I needed. Never to manipulate for wasetful reasons. Sometimes my husband does not hear my needs and that can cause problems even death or death of our relationship. So, yes i will manipulate all I can if neccisary only for the Godly reasons. My husband is very sick with diabetis. He will not eat healthy things any more and I do know how to make healthy meals. There comes a time when we no longer can manipulate them to eat well. God help our mates with diabetis.

    Reply

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