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10 Truths About the Proverbs 31 Woman You Should Know @ AVirtuousWoman.org

10 Truths About the Proverbs 31 Woman You Should Know

“The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.” Proverbs 31:1

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here.

If you’re familiar with Proverbs 31, and even if you aren’t, it seems there’s always something more to learn about it. Today I’m sharing 10 truths about that Proverbs 31 Woman that you should know.

10 Truths About the Proverbs 31 Woman You Should Know @ AVirtuousWoman.org

If you’re anything like me, you really like to dig into scripture and understand it in every aspect possible. Studying Scripture is so important. Sometimes as we read verses or passages we feel like it’s hard to understand so we just move on.

related: How to Study the Bible

Proverbs 31 is a beautiful passage of Scripture that can seem out dated – especially when you read the King James version – I mean what is a spindle and staff anyway and how does this apply to me???

So because the Proverbs 31 Woman is often misunderstood and because as Christians it’s important to understand God’s word and how it can be applied to our lives today, I wanted to share a few things that I think often go over looked when women read the passage of Proverbs 31.

related: Read the King James Version of Proverbs 31 (KJV) here.

10 Truths About the Proverbs 31 Woman

#1 Words from Solomon’s Mother

Solomon was the author of Proverbs. However, his mother is the one that gave him the advice that we find in Proverbs 31:10-31. It was never meant to be a checklist for women to follow.

“The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.” Proverbs 31:1

It was actually meant to be advice to King Solomon about the woman he should look for. More specifically, the qualities of a woman he should be aware of and take note of.

Even though King Solomon was the wisest man in the Bible, he had quite a few issues that he struggled with. One of these issues was with women. He had 700 wives and 300 concubines. What???!

So although he was wise, he didn’t always follow good advice. His mother shared these words of wisdom with him that we find in Proverbs 31. These words focused on his main downfall which was women.

If we look at 1 Kings 11:1-8 we are told: 

“King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. 

They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.

He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. 

He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molekthe detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.” 1 Kings 11:1-8 NIV.

I would imagine his mother wanted better for him and gave him some good advice about what to look for in a virtuous woman.

#2 The Proverbs 31 Woman Wasn’t a Real Person

Although it was never meant to be a checklist, Proverbs 31 is a wonderful passage for women to take to heart. We aren’t perfect – that’s why we need Jesus – and we’re all unique and beautiful in our own ways.

We have all fallen short of the glory of God. We all need Jesus in our hearts. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23.

However, we can follow the principles of what we find in this passage of Scripture and apply it to our lives today. It’s a wonderful way to define ourselves as modern Proverbs 31 women before God and know we’re on a solid track.

Also, it’s important to point out that this was most likely not a real woman King Solomon’s mother was talking about but, rather an example of one.

It’s always nice to have an example of what it is good. The example is not to make us feel bad, but to give us something to work toward.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Philippians 3:12 NIV.

We will never be perfect this side of heaven but, we can look at these traits as a guide on what the Proverbs 31 woman was all about and what we should be strive for as women of God.

#3 Purpose Not Perfection

It’s easy to get caught up in the fact that we might not ever be just like the Proverbs 31 woman. However, when we look at the Proverbs 31 woman explained, we realize that it’s not about being just like her.

All God wants from us is to know that we are living His purpose for our lives. He doesn’t need or require perfection from us! Isn’t that good news?! 

God has a purpose for each and every one of us. We shouldn’t strive for perfection so much as we should pray to find the purpose God gave us.

Mike Ward says about finding God’s purpose for your life, “God is God and He works all things, including your life, according to his purposes. Nothing can happen without God ordaining it.

Psalm 57:2 says, “I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” This is key in understanding God’s purpose for your life. God has numbered your days and will fulfill every purpose He has for you.

However, our choices and actions also really matter. In some ways, this is a mystery we can’t fully understand, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. We can choose to do things that will bring us more joy and give us more of a sense of purpose.”

We can be perfect in every way but, still not live the purpose God created us for – and that’s missing the entire point of living the Christian life.

#4 The Battle of Grace vs. Works

When we dig deep and see the Proverbs 31 woman explained, we easily think that she did a ton of work!  However, it wasn’t the work she did, it was how she handled it…with grace and wisdom. Striving for perfection will wear you out – body, mind, and soul. Perfection is elusive and we all need grace.

Works will not get you into heaven. You can’t do enough, be good enough, check enough off your to do list to earn your way into heaven.

You can be the perfect woman in the world’s eyes and have many wonderful accomplishments as a good person but, if you don’t have God, it’s all for naught.

“For what shall it profit a man [or woman], if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Mark 8:36.

We must accept God’s grace, humble ourselves, and do everything as we’re doing it unto the Lord. God looks upon the heart where as man looks at the outward appearance.

“For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; because you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as your reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24 NIV.

In other words, it doesn’t matter how many hungry people you fed if you were doing it for wrong reasons. Jesus said:

“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'” Matthew 7:27.

It is by grace we are saved. The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is an example of a woman whose life bears the fruit of her faith.

#5 You can be a Single Proverbs 31 Woman

I can’t count the times I receive questions from women who have not married and want to know if they can apply Proverbs 31 to their lives today. You do not have to be married or have children to fully embrace the principles of Proverbs 31.

In the passage of Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman was married with children. However, it was her overall demeanor, grace, and faith that is the focus.

A single woman must still focus on forgetting perfection in the world’s eyes and finding her purpose before the Lord. God’s grace is open to her in every way. She can still have a kind heart, wise head about her, and live by the principles found in the passage.

The Proverbs 31 woman is a beautiful example to all types of women, married or not.

In fact, Paul plainly states: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” 1 Corinthians 7:8

As a single woman you have opportunities afforded you to serve the Lord that married women do not have because they have others to care and worry about.

And while you may not be married to a man, you are certainly the bride of Christ! All of the virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman can be directly applied to your relationship with Christ as well as your service to others.

#6 She Doesn’t Do All That Work Alone

When you read the passage of Proverbs 31 is can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all that the virtuous woman does. But she didn’t do it all alone.

 “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” Proverbs 31:15.

Notice here in verse 15 that she has maidservants. This proves two things: women aren’t expected to handle all that work alone and it’s okay to not be able to tackle it all by yourself! Not only did she maidservants, but her children would have had chores to do as well as part of the family unit.

And while we have our own maid servants these days in the form of washing machines and stoves that do a lot of the work for us, we still need to make sure we are delegating tasks to others and managing our homes well so we don’t feel overwhelmed.

related: But the Proverbs 31 Woman had Maidservants!

This only further shows how much the passage of Proverbs 31 is about the way this woman carries herself with faith and grace, not how much she accomplishes in a day.

#7 The Passage of Proverbs 31 is Relevant Today

Many modern feminists like to argue that Proverbs 31 is no longer relevant to women in this day and age. Although the passage was written many years ago and there were definitely different circumstances surrounding it, there is still much to glean from it.

related: The 10 Virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman

The point of the entire passage pushes women to be strong, graceful, full of faith, and to focus on their purpose, not their clothes, looks, and how many works they can accomplish in a day.

This is still very much relevant to every woman and always will be no matter how much times passes since Proverbs 31 was written.

“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.” Proverbs 31:29-31

God’s Word stands the test of time. 

#8 All Women are Unique Before the Lord

None of us are exactly the same, right? That means that God doesn’t want you to try and fit yourself into some sort of cookie mold. You don’t have to do everything exactly like I would do it or your best friend or that woman you really admire.

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” Romans 12:6-8

He wants you to take the basics of the Proverbs 31 Woman’s example and apply them to your life. God desires that each one of us use the gifts and talents unique to us for His glory!

#9 She Finds Rest in Jesus and Cares for Her Body

It’s easy to look at the passage of Proverbs 31 and feel like she exemplifies a woman who never rests and works all the time. But this just isn’t so. The problem comes when we don’t take Scripture into the context of the whole Bible.

God made rest vital to the human body. It’s okay to not work yourself to the bone. It’s okay to take breaks when you need them. It’s okay to take care of yourself.

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV.

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8 NIV.

While we know that the Scripture says that the Proverbs 31 Woman didn’t eat the bread of idleness this doesn’t mean she never rested or took breaks. She works diligently, yes, and she works without complaining.

However, rest is essential to your physical, spiritual, and mental health. So take time each week to rest your body and rest in Jesus so that you never grow weary in doing the will and work of God.

“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.” Hebrews 4:9-11 NIV.

#10 Not All of Us Are Blessed in the Same Way

You may notice that the Proverbs 31 woman had a husband who was well to do and respected in his community. This was the mother of a kind talking after all. Not to mention, the virtuous woman had a good side business and great health.

But here’s the thing. 

All of us have various circumstances surrounding our life. You may not be blessed with perfect health. Your family may struggle with finances. You may have a child who has special needs. Or you may find that you are blessed with singleness just as Paul said.

And all of that is okay. No matter the situation you find yourself in, you are loved wholly and perfectly by a faithful God. You can live a purposeful life right where you are.

Instead of wishing you had a different life or an easier life, focus on how a virtuous woman handles every aspect of her life with grace and faith.

God looks at the heart of each woman. And while the fruit of your hands may testify of God’s goodness in your life, your faith in Jesus is what will lead you to eternal life.

Actions Steps to Take Today

  1. Study the principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman and ask yourself how you can apply that wisdom to your own life today.
  2. Pray and ask Jesus to show you His purpose for your life so that you may live in His perfect will.
  3. Ask for help when you need it.
  4. Give yourself grace and take time for rest.

Free Printable Proverbs 31 Woman pdf

You can use this printable two page pdf as a Bible study guide to learn more about the virtuous woman and how you become a Proverbs 31 Woman today.

10 Virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman | Free Printable PDF @ AVirtuousWoman.orgHow to Download

  1. Just fill out the form below and you’ll receive an email with the link to download your free printable guide to becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman. You’ll also receive helpful emails and updates from me on a regular basis!
  2. Or, you can purchase this printable Proverbs 31 Bible Study Guide here for just $2.97. Women’s ministries groups can use this printable when you purchase a copy along with the group license.
  3. If you are already a subscriber, you can still fill out the form below to get the download – it won’t affect your subscription!
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About Melissa Ringstaff

My name is Melissa Ringstaff and I've been blogging here at A Virtuous Woman since 2001. I'm a pastor's wife and homeschooling mom living in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains of Southeastern KY. I believe in finding freedom from perfection and living life with purpose and I want to help you do exactly that.

I'm so glad you've stopped by to visit with me. I hope we can be friends!

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Get instant access to my free Bible study guide on the 10 Virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman.

 

purposenotperfection

Freedom from perfection. 🪁
Live with purpose. ✝️
Proverbs 31 for modern women. 👱‍♀️
Wife + Mama + Homemaker + Kentucky
Life: @melissa.ringstaff

Melissa Ringstaff
Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just because there was a pandemic. Our family has faced many trying times in the past but 2020 gave us some doozies.  I’m looking forward to a new year. The beginning of the new year always feels like a fresh start to me. It feels like HOPE.  But the truth is, whatever heartaches and hardships you and I were facing on Dec. 31 will most likely still be there on Jan. 1.  That’s why it’s hard to keep New Years resolutions. It’s easy to feel motivated for a few days or a couple weeks until we realize life hasn’t really changed and things are still hard.  But if we want to see real change it takes hard work and real effort. It takes showing up every day - even when it’s hard.  Whether that means working on your fractured relationships or setting healthy boundaries or cultivating self disciple... whatever that hard thing is that you need to work on ... it will only get better if you work on it.  We aren’t promised an easy life. But we are promised an “Ever Present Help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1  *
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth#proverbs31women #proverbs31life #10virtues #daughteroftheking #jesuslovesme #womenoffaith #faithquotes #proverbs31
We’re coming into the new year with all the same We’re coming into the new year with all the same problems we had in the last year. And that’s okay! Life doesn’t have to be perfect to still be amazing. Perfectionism is a joy stealer. Let’s determine to enjoy life right now in all its messiness.  I believe you can find freedom from perfection and the confidence to live your life with purpose. #purposenotperfection  #christian #Jesus #love #quotes #quoteslife #quotestoliveby #godisgood #votd #lifequotes #inspirationalquotes #life #motivationalquotes #inspiration #bible #bb #bestoftheday #happiness #wordofgod
🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. 🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. It’s a ministry to your family and all who enter your home.  But I want you to know: You don’t have to be perfect. ❤️  There’s a fine line between teaching your children to be neat and insisting on perfection. No one can meet that kind of standard and it can be detrimental to the emotional health of your family.  What we want for our homes is to provide a space that is neat and clean enough that your family and friends feel comfortable and well loved.  There is freedom in accepting the fact that you’re not perfect. Not to make excuses for slovenliness - but to give yourself grace.  It’s when we recognize our weakness that we find ourselves reaching out to Jesus to receive the power that comes only from him. As homemakers, when we can find grace for the moment when we accept His Gift.  “But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the LORD our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. Ezra 9:8  Let His Grace wash over you, cleanse your weary heart. Homemaking isn’t about creating a perfect space. It’s about creating a home where loved ones feel cared for and nurtured. 
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #wearethehomemakers
❤️Your attitude about homemaking matters.⠀
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A homemaker by definition is someone who manages and makes a home. 🏠⠀
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But, anyone can clean and organize a home. ⠀
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☑️ Homemaking is about more than checking off the items on your to do list.⠀
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Learning how to be a homemaker means you learn how to make your home feel like haven of peace and love. You seek out ways to make your home feel inviting. You work at it.⠀
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There is no easy button for homemaking. There are easier, more efficient ways to do chores, but the chores still have to be done. If you live in a house, you will create the need for the house to be tidied every day and cleaned on a regular basis.⠀
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Having the right attitude about homemaking is the first step in learning how to be a homemaker.⠀
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The good news is, even if you’ve been struggling with your homemaking, you can always go to God and ask Him for help. ⠀
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He sees the unseen work of your hands. And He loves you very, very much. He wants to help you succeed. ⠀
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking  #youngwife #housewife
🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regu 🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regular time with Jesus every day, you’re not alone. Lots of busy Christian women struggle to find time for a daily prayer and devotion time. ⠀
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But I still want to encourage you to start your day with God! ⠀
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⏰ If it’s hard to spend 30 minutes in the morning for a quiet time, I want you to remember you can still begin your day with God – even if that means saying a short prayer before your feet hit the floor in the morning.⠀
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✝️ I also want to encourage you to memorize this verse:⠀
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“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.⠀
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8 📖⠀
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In the morning you can recite this verse and say a prayer. It doesn’t have to take a long time. Although – if you do have time – you will be greatly blessed by spending more time in prayer and devotion.⠀
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📌 Free Printable Morning Prayer Prompts on the blog today: https://avirtuouswoman.org/morning-prayer-prompts/  #linkinbio ⠀
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth #Christ #Church #Christian #Jesus #Jesuslover #JesusChrist #JesusisLord #CreatorGod #Devotional #verseoftheday #Love #Faith #biblestudy #God #dailydevotional
🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be inte 🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be intentional with how I plan our days. I love any opportunity to create a good memories at home for my family and guests. ⠀⠀
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📌 If you're looking to make this holiday season really special, you need to be intentional. Goodness knows 2020 has had a lot of ups and downs. And maybe you feel like it's been mostly downs. ⠀⠀
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🎄 But the holiday season is a chance to focus on celebrating the life we have right now. Things don't need to be perfect for us to celebrate life right now!!⠀⠀
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☑️ Inside the pages of my Purpose 31 holiday planner, you'll find 8 weeks of planning and cleaning all laid out for you. Recipe pages, journaling pages, and more - 120 pages total. ⠀⠀
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✏️ The Purpose 31 Holiday Planner is by far one of the most popular resource I produce each year. ⠀⠀
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Thousands of women have downloaded it over the last four years I've offered it.⠀⠀
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So, even though it's early still, you can go ahead and downlaod it. Print it out and then set it up so you're ready to go.⠀⠀
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I usually take my holiday planner down to Office Depot and have them spiral bind it with a plastic cover for about $5.00. This year, though, I just bought a new 3 ring binder at Walmart, printed off extra cover pages to slip in the clear sleeve, and created a binder with it. ⠀⠀
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📌📌📌 If you use the planner this year, be sure to share and tag me in your photos! ❤️⠀  Download: https://avirtuouswoman.org/holiday-planner/ #linkinbio
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #christmas #holidayplanning #planningaddict #plannercommunity #freeprintables #thanksgiving #christmastree  #plannerobsessed
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