Sometimes the answer isn’t so much that your husband needs to change – even though he really might!! – but the answer may be that you change your heart. Today I’m talking about 10 ways you can lift up your husband.
Marriage can be really hard. And I don’t say that lightly. Marriage can be and often is really, really hard.
Do you ever ask yourself why?
You may be thinking, “I know why! It’s that man I’m married to!”
Ahem… I’ve been there.
Have you ever heard the saying, “When you point a finger at someone, you’ve three more pointing at you?” Maybe it’s time to stop blaming our husbands and look at ourselves.
Let’s think back to the beginning. The beginning of you and Mr. Right. Back when you were happy.
What was different?
And before you get your feathers ruffled and say, “Well, he was nice to me!”
Maybe you were nicer to him?
Could your attitude have changed the way your husband treats you?
Now, I want to stop here and say this: Abuse is never okay. Whether it is emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse, it is never okay. If your husband is abusing you, you need to get help.
I am NOT suggesting that a woman is ever to blame for being abused. We are all responsible for our own actions including your husbands.
If your husband struggles with depression, addictions, mental illness, or a disorder such as OCD or OCPD you may need to seek professional help as well.
Having said that…
related: Anger and Emotional Abuse within Marriage
If you have a “normal” husband who is frustrated, angry, discouraged, stressed and/ or unhappy much of the time, could you help him find the man he once was way back when you first got married and were happy?
Here are some ways you can help your husband find happiness:
- Honor your husband by putting him first at home.
- Encourage your husband.
- Respect your husband.
- Go out of your way to be extra thoughtful.
- Leave him love notes.
- Realize that his sexual needs are important.
- Be quick to forgive and don’t hold grudges.
- Make his life easier whenever possible.
- Laugh with your husband.
- Show your husband the love of Christ by extending grace and mercy.
You know, marriage isn’t {or shouldn’t} be about how “I” can find happiness. It should be about how “we” can find happiness together.
Usually when a couple gets married they have big dreams about what their life will be like. They make plans, they talk and dream together, and they work together. They’re a team.
But far too often as time passes and hurts pile up… one day they are no longer working together. They may be living together but they lead separate lives. They’ve lost sight of their common goal.
In a healthy relationship, there is give and take. I give some and then you offer something back. You give some and I offer something back.
When hurts and resentment build and when bitterness creeps into a relationship, often the giving stops or at least slows way down. Sometimes to get things back onto an even keel again… one person has to do a lot more giving than taking until the relationship finds healing.
Could that person be you? God can use you to heal your marriage.
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
12 Qualities of Lasting Love
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