Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2

Every marriage has it’s ups and downs. And some years are harder than others. Marriage requires a willingness to forgive and love unconditionally. A good marriage is made of two people who respect each other’s differences. Pride can keep a marriage from being truly great.

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A few years ago, my husband and I went through a rough patch. Things were hard and it was difficult to not be constantly irritated with each other. One day after a long talk we both made the decision to try harder. Try harder at things like:

• not bringing up the past
• not being so self-defensive
• not being impatient with each other

We had to make a conscious choice to love more. 

For me, choosing to love more, wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. I had allowed past resentments to build up in my heart and I needed to let those things go. I had to re-learn to love my husband with an unconditional love. It’s so easy {at least for me} when you are married to a man who is “supposed to be” a godly man to judge when his behavior seems less than godly. I mean, he should know better, right?

Obviously.

Okay, so, really, that’s pride talking. I should know better too! 

I married an fallible man who does make mistakes, who sometimes says things he shouldn’t say, who acts in thoughtless ways from time to time. He’s human.

I purchased a few reminders for our bedroom of my decision to love more. Things like a pillow for our bed that says, “Always Kiss Me Goodnight.” And a sign for our bathroom that says, “Mr. & Mrs… And they lived happily ever after.” And another sign for our bedroom that reads, “If I could do my life over again, I’d find you sooner so I could love you longer.”

You don’t have to buy things to help you remember to love your husband more. I don’t really need them. But it made me happy to see them each day, reminding me that having a great marriage is a choice I’m making.

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Marriage is a gift that God gave us. Ideally, a husband and wife are a team working together to reach common goals, support one another, and lift each other up. I’m so thankful for my husband. He’s a hard worker, a good provider, and a generous man. Everyday, he lays down his life so that my life can be better.

10 Ideas to Bless Your Marriage

What’s keeping you from having the marriage of your dreams? Here’s 10 Ideas for help you have your best marriage this year:

• Keeping the Romance Alive
• 3 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Husband
• Unconditional Love
• 10 Ways to Lift Up Your Husband
• A Grace Filled Marriage
• Be an Encouragement
• Heat Up Your Marriage
• The Heart of Her Husband: 14 Day Series
• Do You Have a Critical Spirit?
• Your Beloved: 5 Ways to Stay Connected

5 Books to Bless Your Marriage

The Love Dare by Alex Kendrick

I recently received this book and can’t wait to get into it! If you’ve never seen the movie Fireproof starring Kirk Cameron, you really should watch it! I’ve seen it several times and love it.

Unconditional love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life. As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

The Love Dare, the New York Times No. 1 best seller that has sold five million copies and was major plot device in the popular movie Fireproof, is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. It’s time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage.

This second edition also features a special link to a free online marriage evaluation, a new preface by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, minor text updates, and select testimonials from The Love Dare readers. Take the dare!

• Take The Love Dare Test
• Read a Sample Chapter of The Love Dare
• The Love Dare Day by Day: A Year of Devotions for Couples

P.S. They also have a book for parents: The Love Dare for Parents {which I also have a copy of.}

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The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

This is one of those books every couple needs to read. It gave me a lot of insights into who my husband is and why he does things they way he does!

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love-that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands and conflicts and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestselling book The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner-starting today.

“If we learn to meet each other’s deep emotional need to feel loved, and choose to do it, the love we share will be exciting beyond anything we’ve ever felt.”-Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships in today’s world, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. Practice the simple steps outlined in each chapter and you’ll be on your way to a healthier, mutually beneficial relationship.

There’s even more books in this series:

• The 5 Love Languages Men’s Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts {for your husband}
• The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional
• The Language of Sex: Experiencing the Beauty of Sexual Intimacy
• The 5 Love Languages of Children
• The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers New Edition: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively

The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) by Shelia Wray Gregoire

I love Shelia’s open and honest advice for Christian wives. It’s okay to have a fun sex life! I mean, God did create sex and He intended it to bring us pleasure!

Billions of people have had sex. Far fewer have made love. In the Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how sexual intimacy was designed to be physically stupendous but also incredibly intimate.

Whether you’re about to walk down the aisle or you’ve been married for decades, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex will lead you on a wonderful journey of discovery towards the amazing sex life God designed you for.

With humor, research, and lots of anecdotes, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how our culture’s version of sex, which concentrates on the physical above all else, makes sex shallow. God, on the other hand, intended sex to unite us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Gregoire walks through these three aspects of sex, showing how to make each amazing, and how to overcome the roadblocks in each area we often encounter.

Drawing on survey results from over 2,000 people, she also includes lots of voices from other Good Girls, giving insight into how other women have learned to truly enjoy sex in marriage.

• 31 Days to Great Sex is also a great little book to read with your husband!

The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language by Scott and Bethany Palmer 

This is another book I’ve read last year. If you’ve ever argued about money {and who hasn’t} you need this book.

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money. 

Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It’s why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka “The Money Couple,” have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it.

Once you know your Money Personality, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You’ll discover what has an impact on your loved one’s money decisions, and you’ll learn how to talk about money in a way that’s actually fun! You’ll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all.

It’s not just about money management, and it’s definitely not just about overcoming debt. It is a whole new way of living that will change everything in your relationship. Tens of thousands have already been transformed. Are you ready?

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The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring You Closer by Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott

Again, if you’re married… you’ve probably had some arguments. This book’s for you.

THE FIGHT THAT CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE