Welcome to Day 11 of our series, From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home. Today we’re talking about how a critical spirit can have a negative impact on your family and marriage.
From Chaos to Calm: Day Eleven
Do You Have a Critical Spirit?
Scripture Memory: “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12
Let’s be honest here. How often are you critical of your husband? This is such a huge issue for many women. I have seen women too often demoralize their husbands. Women may become so used to criticizing their husbands that it seems to be the only way they relate to their husbands. But being overly critical can be a form of emotional abuse.
It can be hard to point the finger back at ourselves. Admitting that we have failed our husbands is not an easy thing to do! But admitting we need to change is the first step in becoming better wives – better women in Christ!
Think about these situations:
- Your husband is talking and you correct him.
- You husband has an idea and you tell him it is dumb.
- You are out with your friends and all you can do is complain about how your husband never meets your needs, never helps around the house, or is clueless when it comes to being a dad.
- You don’t allow your husband to speak for himself.
- You tell your husband what to do as in, “I’m the boss and you are not.”
- You object when your husband disciplines the children.
- You disrespect your husband in front of the children.
- You call your husband unkind names.
- You belittle his efforts to provide for you.
- You do not honor your husband’s simple requests like, “Would you iron my shirt?”
- You roll your eyes when he tells you something.
- You sigh and roll over when he attempts to be close to you at night.
- You say, “I didn’t ask you.”
- You say, “You don’t know what you are talking about!” or “Why don’t you just be quiet?”
- You are lazy at home while he is at work and dishonor him.
related: Q & A: When Your Husband is Critical
These are just a few situations that may have come up in your married life. Take a good look at yourself today and determine to speak in a way that will uplift him daily. The Bible says, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24. Bless your husband with goodness all the days of his life.
Today, I want you to pray about your own attitude toward your husband. Whether you are critical only on occasion or to the point you have been verbally abusing your husband, having a critical spirit is never pleasing to the Lord. Ask God for forgiveness. In your prayer journal, I want you to list some of the ways you have recently been critical of your husband. Then, I want you to list at least ten ways you can show your husband respect him. Ask God to help you see the good in him instead of the bad. Last, I want you to kneel before your husband and ask his forgiveness. Tell him how much you love him and strive to bite your tongue before you speak.
“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words.” Proverbs 15:26
Action Steps to Take Today
- Pray and ask God to show you areas where you need to improve your own behavior in your marriage.
- Focus on having a positive mindset and speech instead of being critical of your husband.
- Determine to make a point in the coming days to make it a habit to encourage and praise your husband as often as you can.