Welcome to Day 14 of our series, From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home. Today we’re talking about loving others unconditionally and without judgment.
From Chaos to Calm: Day Fourteen
Scripture Memory: “As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” John 13:34
Expectations can ruin your life. Your expectations. Other people’s expectations.
Okay, so I’m not saying we should never have expectations. Standards are important. But when it comes to expectations – unrealistic expectations can make you very unhappy.
Have you ever felt like other people expect too much of you? Or maybe you expect too much from yourself? So much so that you’re leaning toward perfectionism?
A few years ago, I began learning more about setting boundaries. I felt like other people’s expectations of me were unfair. I often felt like other people had no conception of what I really had to do each day – how much was on my plate. And unfortunately, I allowed family and friends to take advantage of me.
I learned the hard way that saying no to other people’s expectations is sometimes necessary and right. I also learned that it’s okay for me to not be perfect or meet everyone’s expectations all the time.
On the flip side of that is my expectations of other people.
Are my expectations ruining my life or my family members’ lives? Do I expect my husband or my children to be perfect – or darn near perfect?
As I said, standards are important. We need good, healthy standards of conduct. Rules are important. Boundaries are important.
As moms it’s our job to train our children to be good, loving people who possess a good work ethic and a sense of right and wrong.
But it’s not our job to ensure our children never make a mistake or face adversity. It’s not our job to see to it that our children are as perfect as children can be.
It’s our job to love them unconditionally while showing them by example what it means to be imperfect followers of Christ.
The same goes for our husbands. It’s not my job to make sure my husband is always the perfect spiritual leader, never say words he shouldn’t say, or never make a mistake.
Especially in Christian marriages, our expectations of our spouse are often higher because we feel like our Christian spouse should know better. So when mistakes are made, we feel self-righteous and indignant.
Remember this verse? “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:5
We are not called to judge our husbands. We are called to love them unconditionally.
You see, Christ loves us unconditionally. He is always faithful to forgive. He doesn’t hold our past mistakes over our heads, reminding us of how bad we are. He lifts us up and offers encouragement when we are discouraged. He comforts us when we are sad.
He lived His life as an example that we might follow in His footsteps.
Christ gave His life for us while we were yet sinners. His love knows no bounds! If His love for us is so great, should we not be willing to love others with the same unconditional love?
The Proverbs 31 Woman stretches out her hand to the needy. She doesn’t judge them. She doesn’t talk down to them or make them feel bad for needing help.
Our families need us. They need us to love them, support them, encourage and comfort them. They need us to love them unconditionally.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:7
Action Steps to Take Today
- Pray and ask God to help you love your family without judgement and with an unconditional love.
- If you know you have a tendency to be critical or if you lean towards perfectionism, make a decision to work on your own attitude so you can offer your family more grace when needed.
- Download my free printable Grace and Gratitude Prayer Journaling page below, if desired.
- Remind yourself each day that as God extends grace to you, to also extend grace to your family.
Free Printable Grace and Gratitude Prayer Journaling Page
How do you love yourself and love others?
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