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How Clutter and Discouragement Often Go Hand in Hand @ AVirtuousWoman.org

Clutter and Discouragement

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here.

How Clutter and Discouragement Often Go Hand in Hand @ AVirtuousWoman.org

A Time to Clean: Day 7

You can read the rest of the posts in this series here.

Do you ever find yourself day dreaming of a different life… or maybe you just feel dissatisfied with the way things have been going in your life. Discontentment can severely affect everything from your relationships to your homemaking. I wish I could say I’ve never been discontent, but that wouldn’t be true!

Life is hard sometimes. A lot of times. And there are definitely seasons in life that are harder than others.

Discontentment Can Lead to Clutter

Discontentment will eat at you until you feel so helpless and dissatisfied with life that those things that are precious to you can lose their appeal. Like homemaking. Or marriage. Or motherhood. For me, it was my house.

Often times, clutter or a messy house is a symptom of discouragement, discontentment, and depression. A lack of energy or excitement about home is a classic reason why it’s so hard to keep it neat and organized. We shop for new things because we are unhappy. We hold on to things because we are unhappy. We find it hard to let things go because we are unhappy. And we’re unhappy because life seems harder than it should be.

When we’re depressed or discouraged, the house gets messy and a messy house makes us feel more stressed, depressed, and discouraged which leads to more discontentment. It’s a viscous cycle.

So, how do we go from being depressed and discouraged when life may very well be hard to feeling content and finding our joy again? For me, it was making the decision to laugh more, focus on what really mattered to me, and learning to say no {setting boundaries}.

Figuring out why you’re so unhappy might require some deep soul searching. The source of your discontentment may not be crystal clear to you, but I believe that if you pray about it and ask God to show you why you’re feeling unhappy with life that He will give you answers. Other times, you know why – maybe your marriage is difficult or you have a parent who wants to control your life or maybe your husband has been out of work for months.

Whatever the reason, when life is hard, sometimes you have no control over that. So, instead of trying to control your circumstance, you have to change the way you think about things. We can choose to be happy. I had to choose to be happy. I found a new way of looking at life and it has set my soul free.

The Opposite Effect

Clutter can also lead you to feel discouraged and discontent. Studies have shown that excess clutter in your life can lead you to feel more stress. It is harder to focus and and actually decreases your performance overall. Which you have probably already realized!

In fact, I’ve read that if you get rid of 1/3 – 1/2 of your stuff that you’ll live longer and feel happier. Do you think it’s true? I do.

Clutter adds a lot of unwanted “things” to my life. Things like:

  1. The house gets messy so fast.
  2. I feel overwhelmed when I walk into a messy room.
  3. I can’t always find the things I need when I need them.
  4. I can’t always be spontaneous and invite people over.
  5. It stresses me out and makes me unhappy.

And if stress is a leading cause of death… well, maybe having less stuff really could add years to my life!

Remember how I said, focus on one pile, one closet, one drawer at a time? When clutter has overtaken your life, it’s important to understand that it probably won’t go away over night. When you begin to declutter, don’t get discouraged. Don’t look at the mess in your house as a whole. Break down each room into manageable tasks.

Today’s Goal

  • Ask God to show you what things may be causing you to feel discouraged about life in general. Are there things going on that are out of your control? What can you do to change the way you deal with those things {change your mindset}?
  • Or do you think that clutter is the main reason you feel stressed and unhappy in your own home?
  • Pick up a journal and write down your thoughts about what He has shown you or print my free prayer journal.
  • Choose an area in your home you want to tackle. I’ll be working in my bedroom today.
  • Fill at least one bag or box full of stuff to give away.
  • Take a picture of your bag. Share it on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, or Instagram – use hashtag #atimetoclean {optional}
  • Leave a comment below about what you chose to get rid of.
  • Do your best to wake up early tomorrow and spend time in prayer. Use your prayer journal. I’ll be waking up around 6:30 am.

My Projects for Today

So, the last few days for me have been really busy. Sunday we had to go get a load of hay for the horses and then spent the rest of the day working in the yard. Our yard has been somewhat neglected over the last few years because we were too busy taking care of other people and literally didn’t have time to deal with it. Projects we started a few years ago – namely putting in a lovely patio in our backyard were pushed to the back burner after only finishing 1/3 of the project. Discouraging!

My husband has more time {and less stress} now to work on the house and he’s been getting excited about completing a lot of projects around the house. Finally, things I felt would never get done {discouragement} are being tackled and it is exciting!

Our children are older now {the youngest is 11} and we began dismantling our old wooden swing set. It was kind of sad! But, we have plans to put in a very fun obstacle course in our yard – I’m voting for a zip line – but at least for now as winter approaches way too fast we are trying to get the yard winterized and the wood stacked in the wood room.

swing set

So I guess, that counts as getting rid of clutter? Maybe. At least it was a step in the right direction for our outdoor space!

Monday, of course, I was gone all day to Knoxville for ice skating, falling right into bed when we got home {after tucking in my girls}. So, even when you have plans to get as much decluttering done as possible life still goes on and you have to work around that! And that’s okay. Because today is a new day and I have plans to get a lot done today!

How does clutter make you feel? Do you feel discontent at home?

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About Melissa Ringstaff

My name is Melissa Ringstaff and I've been blogging here at A Virtuous Woman since 2001. I'm a pastor's wife and homeschooling mom living in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains of Southeastern KY. I believe in finding freedom from perfection and living life with purpose and I want to help you do exactly that.

I'm so glad you've stopped by to visit with me. I hope we can be friends!

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Join the 7 Day Challenge

Previous Post: «Shame is so powerful that it can drive you to believe that not only are you unworthy of being loved but that you have no control over your own life. That no matter what you do or how hard you try nothing will ever change. @ AVirtuousWoman.org #ATimeToClean Unlovable
Next Post: How We Escape How We Escape... looking for peace in all the wrong places. @ AVirtuousWoman.org #ATimeToClean #declutter»

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. danielle

    November 11, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    I really want to thank you for all that you have been sharing. I just started reading your blog the day before you started the 30 day challenge. I am learning alot about myself and the emotional ties I have to THINGS in my house and I have let it go on way to long. Im also starting to enjoy my home again and not cringing when someone walks into a one of the rooms I just stash stuff. Its day by day like you said but its making all the difference. Thank you so much. I look forward to what the Lord has up ahead.
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      November 12, 2014 at 9:32 am

      Hi Danielle, thanks so much for sharing with me. I'm so glad to hear that your seeing a different in your home and the way you feel about you home. That's good news! God bless you.
      Reply
  2. Julie

    November 18, 2014 at 8:42 am

    This one really hits home! The constant clutter is what makes me feel bogged down and discouraged. Especially with a particularly picky MIL. I have been married for 11 years and it has just been the last year that I have finally decided to stop trying to have a clean and tidy house for her...its also been just this year that my house has slowly started staying cleaner and more tidy. Don't get me wrong we still have a LONG way to go to get things the way my husband and I would like but we both have an understanding that the house won't be perfect until our kids are older. Right now they range in age from 10 down to 1 so its going to be a while. But the fact that we ate ok with it has made it a lot easier to take steps to make our home happier not just cleaner.
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      November 18, 2014 at 9:24 am

      Julie, home is where real life happens! :) It doesn't have to be perfect to still be warm and inviting. And tidy is good, perfect... pretty much unattainable when you have little ones and really, who enjoys sitting in a perfect room? Cozy is much better.
      Reply
  3. Ruth Welch

    December 15, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    Thanks for your post. Once again, you have given me thoughts to ponder and actions to take. The cause for most of my stress right now is not my home. My daughter is dating an atheist and I have been in panic mode thinking of how this is going to impact my 3 grandchildren. From your post today, I realize this is something I can't control so I have to turn it over to the One who can. Instead of operating in panic mode, I make the choice to operate in faith mode. God will take care of my loved ones, I stand in faith that He will have more impact on their young lives than Satan. God is greater and will win this battle.
    Reply
  4. Melinda Mitchell

    June 22, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    Oh my goodness, how TRUE your title is! I have clinical depression to add to all my other stuff. I'm also a slob. I've been working on it, but it always seems to lapse back into mess. With God's help, I'll get this down! Hopefully before I die! I'm 55.
    Reply

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Freedom from perfection. 🪁
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Proverbs 31 for modern women. 👱‍♀️
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Life: @melissa.ringstaff

Melissa Ringstaff
Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just because there was a pandemic. Our family has faced many trying times in the past but 2020 gave us some doozies.  I’m looking forward to a new year. The beginning of the new year always feels like a fresh start to me. It feels like HOPE.  But the truth is, whatever heartaches and hardships you and I were facing on Dec. 31 will most likely still be there on Jan. 1.  That’s why it’s hard to keep New Years resolutions. It’s easy to feel motivated for a few days or a couple weeks until we realize life hasn’t really changed and things are still hard.  But if we want to see real change it takes hard work and real effort. It takes showing up every day - even when it’s hard.  Whether that means working on your fractured relationships or setting healthy boundaries or cultivating self disciple... whatever that hard thing is that you need to work on ... it will only get better if you work on it.  We aren’t promised an easy life. But we are promised an “Ever Present Help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1  *
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We’re coming into the new year with all the same We’re coming into the new year with all the same problems we had in the last year. And that’s okay! Life doesn’t have to be perfect to still be amazing. Perfectionism is a joy stealer. Let’s determine to enjoy life right now in all its messiness.  I believe you can find freedom from perfection and the confidence to live your life with purpose. #purposenotperfection  #christian #Jesus #love #quotes #quoteslife #quotestoliveby #godisgood #votd #lifequotes #inspirationalquotes #life #motivationalquotes #inspiration #bible #bb #bestoftheday #happiness #wordofgod
🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. 🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. It’s a ministry to your family and all who enter your home.  But I want you to know: You don’t have to be perfect. ❤️  There’s a fine line between teaching your children to be neat and insisting on perfection. No one can meet that kind of standard and it can be detrimental to the emotional health of your family.  What we want for our homes is to provide a space that is neat and clean enough that your family and friends feel comfortable and well loved.  There is freedom in accepting the fact that you’re not perfect. Not to make excuses for slovenliness - but to give yourself grace.  It’s when we recognize our weakness that we find ourselves reaching out to Jesus to receive the power that comes only from him. As homemakers, when we can find grace for the moment when we accept His Gift.  “But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the LORD our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. Ezra 9:8  Let His Grace wash over you, cleanse your weary heart. Homemaking isn’t about creating a perfect space. It’s about creating a home where loved ones feel cared for and nurtured. 
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❤️Your attitude about homemaking matters.⠀
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A homemaker by definition is someone who manages and makes a home. 🏠⠀
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But, anyone can clean and organize a home. ⠀
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☑️ Homemaking is about more than checking off the items on your to do list.⠀
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Learning how to be a homemaker means you learn how to make your home feel like haven of peace and love. You seek out ways to make your home feel inviting. You work at it.⠀
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There is no easy button for homemaking. There are easier, more efficient ways to do chores, but the chores still have to be done. If you live in a house, you will create the need for the house to be tidied every day and cleaned on a regular basis.⠀
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Having the right attitude about homemaking is the first step in learning how to be a homemaker.⠀
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The good news is, even if you’ve been struggling with your homemaking, you can always go to God and ask Him for help. ⠀
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He sees the unseen work of your hands. And He loves you very, very much. He wants to help you succeed. ⠀
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🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regu 🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regular time with Jesus every day, you’re not alone. Lots of busy Christian women struggle to find time for a daily prayer and devotion time. ⠀
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But I still want to encourage you to start your day with God! ⠀
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⏰ If it’s hard to spend 30 minutes in the morning for a quiet time, I want you to remember you can still begin your day with God – even if that means saying a short prayer before your feet hit the floor in the morning.⠀
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✝️ I also want to encourage you to memorize this verse:⠀
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“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.⠀
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8 📖⠀
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In the morning you can recite this verse and say a prayer. It doesn’t have to take a long time. Although – if you do have time – you will be greatly blessed by spending more time in prayer and devotion.⠀
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📌 Free Printable Morning Prayer Prompts on the blog today: https://avirtuouswoman.org/morning-prayer-prompts/  #linkinbio ⠀
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🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be inte 🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be intentional with how I plan our days. I love any opportunity to create a good memories at home for my family and guests. ⠀⠀
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📌 If you're looking to make this holiday season really special, you need to be intentional. Goodness knows 2020 has had a lot of ups and downs. And maybe you feel like it's been mostly downs. ⠀⠀
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🎄 But the holiday season is a chance to focus on celebrating the life we have right now. Things don't need to be perfect for us to celebrate life right now!!⠀⠀
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☑️ Inside the pages of my Purpose 31 holiday planner, you'll find 8 weeks of planning and cleaning all laid out for you. Recipe pages, journaling pages, and more - 120 pages total. ⠀⠀
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✏️ The Purpose 31 Holiday Planner is by far one of the most popular resource I produce each year. ⠀⠀
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Thousands of women have downloaded it over the last four years I've offered it.⠀⠀
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So, even though it's early still, you can go ahead and downlaod it. Print it out and then set it up so you're ready to go.⠀⠀
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I usually take my holiday planner down to Office Depot and have them spiral bind it with a plastic cover for about $5.00. This year, though, I just bought a new 3 ring binder at Walmart, printed off extra cover pages to slip in the clear sleeve, and created a binder with it. ⠀⠀
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📌📌📌 If you use the planner this year, be sure to share and tag me in your photos! ❤️⠀  Download: https://avirtuouswoman.org/holiday-planner/ #linkinbio
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