I get this question a lot: Can I be single and still be a Proverbs 31 Woman? And of course, I always respond with a resounding yes! Today I’m excited to share this important topic with you.
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” If you are a single woman, it would be easy to read that and think the verses that follow don’t have anything to do with you. But Proverbs 31:10–31 describes a woman of excellence, a woman of virtue—and that is something all women can aspire to. As believers, we are the church, and the church is the bride of Christ.
So if you are single, I want to challenge you to read and study Proverbs 31:10–31 with fresh eyes.
The Character of the Proverbs 31 Woman
If we were to describe the Proverbs 31 woman, we would emphasize her character. Words and phrases like excellent, trustworthy, hard-working, industrious, and productive come to mind. As we continue to study her we realize she does good, plans ahead, manages her household well, and is even an entrepreneur. She is able to laugh as she faces the future, strengthens her arms, and is kind and wise. Above all, she fears the Lord.
These characteristics are for every woman, not just those who are married.
5 Ways to BE a Single Proverbs 31 Woman
1. Be Rare
Verse 10 asks the question, “Who can find an excellent wife?” and goes on to say she is far more precious than jewels. Jewels have significant value in the ancient world. They were precious.
Why was an excellent wife hard to find? Because she was different. She stood out in our crowd because of her character. We need to ask ourselves what will make me different from the culture around me?
In a world where women fight for more than rights and look for superiority over men, let’s be women who look out for our brothers in Christ. Let’s not dress in a way that makes it harder for them to keep their thoughts pure. Let’s pray for them and remember that we are their sisters in Christ. We are family and family looks out for one another.
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3–4
2. Be Trustworthy
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11
When you say you will do something, then do it. When you are told something in confidence, keep that confidence. In this way, you will be the kind of person who people will come to when they need help or to talk. You’ll have the opportunity to encourage, counsel, and pray for others. You’ll have the chance to help meet their needs because you are the kind of person they know will have their back.
3. Be Industrious
We don’t use that word as much anymore, but it captures the Proverbs 31 woman so well. Industrious means diligent and hard-working.
Proverbs 31:13–16, 18–19, 21–22, and 27 all paint a picture of an industrious woman—a woman who rises early and has a plan. One who works with her hands to provide for her household. She’s even a business woman who uses her resources wisely.
The Proverbs 31 woman “does not eat the bread of idleness”.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Colossians 3:23–24
4. Be Wise
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26
Where do we find wisdom? God’s Word. Wisdom is the ability to live life skillfully, and that can’t be done without the giver of life.
The Bible is the means through which God has chosen to share His story of redemption with the world. Through it we get to know the character of God and how we should respond to Him. We see how real people have walked with God in obedience and we’ve seen the consequences of a life apart from Him.
Wisdom, though, starts with fear.
5. Be Fearful
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Proverbs 9:10
This isn’t a childlike fear, thinking God is going to “get you” if you make a mistake. It’s a healthy, mature fear that recognizes who you are in light of who He is. It’s a reverential awe of the God who created all things.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
The Abiding Life of the Proverbs 31 Woman
How can you do all these things? In a way you can’t—not in your own strength anyway.
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” John 15:4
What is the fruit of the abiding life?
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22–23
It doesn’t matter whether we are married or single. We are called to be fruit bearers. Just like the woman pictured in Proverbs 31.
Action Steps to Take Today
- If you are single, recognize how God is speaking to you through the passage of Proverbs 31.
- Pray and ask God to show you how you can fully embrace the scriptures of Proverbs 31 as a single woman.
- Encourage a single friend to live out God’s purpose for her life.