Embracing Imperfection {Day 30}

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here.

Embracing Imperfection @ AVirtuousWoman.org --- Why would I expect not short of perfection from myself?

31 Days of Calm in My Chaos

This post is the second to last post in the series 31 Days of Calm in My Chaos and the first post in the Letting Go Series.

Embracing Imperfection

I’ve never been what I would consider a perfectionist. And yet, expectations were ruining my life.

After years of striving to be better, do better, live better, be the best mom, best wife, best friend, best pastor’s wife, best church member, best everything I could possibly be and never measuring up to that invisible stick… I eventually began to crack under the pressure.

Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to do your very best. I tell my kids to do their best. But I also tell them that mistakes are okay. I don’t expect them to be perfect. I don’t really expect anyone to be perfect. So why would I place that tremendous pressure on my own shoulders?

Why would I expect nothing short of perfection from myself?

[Tweet “Why would I expect nothing short of perfection from myself?”]

I’m sure you’ve known someone – or read someone’s blog – and thought, “Wow, she has the perfect life.” or “She’s got it all together.” or “I wish I had some of her awesomeness.” or “I wish I was that amazing.”

What I’ve come to realize over the last few years – and especially over this past year – is that everyone has struggles. Everyone.

Everyone struggles with something. Maybe your something is different from my something – that’s okay. You cannot live in this world for very long before you realize that life isn’t fair. Bad things happen – a lot. Each one of us is a broken person in need of a Savior.

You see, we live in a sinful fallen world. This world is not perfect – obviously. No one is perfect. The only perfect human beings were Adam and Eve and they still messed that up. Jesus, is the only one who has ever lived here on Earth that can claim perfection.

He was perfect so that I don’t have to be.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

I’ve never believed I could “work” my way to heaven, but for some reason… I still often feel the need to be able to do it all and do it well. Idealistic expectations of what my life should look like overwhelmed my soul. I looked at my failures as proof that I was not worthy of love.

I can never be good enough to earn my own salvation. That’s why I need Jesus. He loved me enough to die for me. He died so that I could have eternal life. Because He loves me.

He would have died on that cross if I was the only one to ever sin. He loves me that much. He loves you that much too.

It’s not that we shouldn’t live our best, make good choices, and walk in His footsteps each day – those things come naturally when you fall in love with Jesus! The Bible says that faith without works is dead. But when you love Jesus with all of your heart, mind, and soul, it’s easy to do what He asks!

A couple of weeks ago I heard a church elder use this illustration:

A mother raises a son and tells him over and over to brush his teeth, comb his hair, and put on clean clothes. Her son does the very minimum – always doing just enough so that he doesn’t get in trouble – but not more. Sometimes the mom wonders if her son will ever grow up to be a gentleman – or if he’ll always act like a Neanderthal.

And then one day, the son meets a girl and he’s in love. And suddenly he wants to comb his hair, put on nice clothes and he’s careful to brush his teeth really well so that when he kisses this girl, he doesn’t have bad breath.

Now, he’s still doing all those things his mother had told him to do – but the difference is he’s no longer just doing the minimum because he feels like he has to. He’s doing all those things with a willing heart – and cheerfully no less – because he’s in love.

I’m not sure I gave this story justice – Elder van Zyl told it much better – but I hope you got the idea. When we’re in love – it’s easy to please the one we’re in love with. We want to please the one we love.

I’ve loved God for a lot of years now. No matter what trials I’ve faced I’ve never stopped believing in God or professing love for Him. But what has changed? I’ve finally realized that it’s okay to not be perfect.

And the truth sets you free.

[Tweet “”You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32″]

And I am free. I am free from the bondage of unreasonable expectations. It’s okay to not be perfect. And even more than that – my life doesn’t have to be perfect for me to still have an amazing life. My day doesn’t have to be perfect for me to still experience joy.

That was a problem for me. I can’t count the holidays or other days where I had high expectations and wanted everything to be “just so.” And when things went wrong I felt like somehow life was unfair or people were unfair. Why couldn’t things just be perfect? I felt like everything was ruined.

Now, when something goes wrong – which I don’t know if you can relate but it happens A LOT – I don’t take it personally. If a member of my family has a bad day – it’s okay. My life is not ruined by one day or one moment. I can still smile.

I am incredibly blessed! Why would I focus on one thing that was not as expected?

[Tweet “I am incredibly blessed! Why would I focus on one thing that was not as expected?”]

It’s hard to describe this feeling of freedom in Christ. I still believe I have a responsibility as a follower of Christ to seek after him, to obey him, to daily align my will with His. But the day to day need to measure up to an impossible goal is no longer there.

I don’t have to be perfect. And I’m not really even talking about just spiritual stuff here. I don’t have to always have a spotless house to be an amazing wife and mom – {but tidy is good}. I don’t have to do everything. Remember how I told you that just because something is good doesn’t mean God wants me to do it? It’s true!

I’m enjoying my life more and that was really my goal. To live life abundantly.

God knows your weary heart and he wants to give you peace. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NIV.

[Tweet “It’s okay to not be perfect. Repeat after me. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE PERFECT.”]

It’s okay to not be perfect. Repeat after me. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE PERFECT.

Do you struggle with unrealistic expectations? Do you measure yourself against perfection?

The Truth will set you Free | A Virtuous Woman

Similar Posts


  1. Thank you for this life affirming post. The truth is no one is perfect and you have to embrace the ups and downs of life, knowing that things never stay the same.
  2. Do you read ebooks? If you don't have a kindle, the kindle app is free to download on phones, tablets, computers, etc.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *