Today I’m talking about how to respect your husband and with Valentine’s Day approaching in just a few days… I thought it would be fun to focus on different aspects of the marriage relationship or rather, how you and I can be better wives! Proverbs 31 tells us that the heart of the virtuous woman’s husband could safely trust in her. Does your husband trust you or does his hear lie in fear of what is coming?
I hope you’ll join me for The Heart of Her Husband, a 14 day devotional series for wives.
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
The Heart of Her Husband: Day 1
Do you respect your husband?
Respect goes deeper than just being polite to your husband. Many women do not give their husbands the respect they deserve. The Bible is clear on this subject. As wives we are called to submit to our husbands and show them respect just as the church submits to Christ.
Whether our husband is the spiritual leader we have always dreamed of or has disappointed our expectations, we have an holy command from Scripture to submit our will to his. Does this mean we never have a voice or should not speak our opinion? No. But there is a difference in demanding our way and sharing our opinion with a meek and quiet spirit.
What does it really mean to submit?
Over the years, my thoughts on this subject have changed somewhat. The Bible tells wives to submit to their husbands. Part of the problem, besides the fact that we all struggle with a sinful, selfish nature, is that the word submission gives us the idea that a wife is never to have an opinion of her own. I used to think that submitting to my husband meant that I always did what I was told and that I should keep my opinions to myself whether I agreed or not.
But, after nearly twenty years of marriage, I do not believe that wives should never voice their opinions or that they should be controlled or have no will of their own. Submission has more to do with respecting your husband’s place as spiritual leader of your home and allowing him to lead. Ideally, husbands will tenderly love their wives and in turn the husband will earn the respect of his wife.
The position a wife holds in the home is sacred and equal, although different, to the husband. In An Exposition of the Old and New Testament Matthew Henry said,”Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”
Respecting Your Husband
Do you make it easy for your husband to lead? I regrettably made a mistake not so long ago that I wish I could take back. My husband had suggested that we read a particular book during family worship. My instant reaction was that it was not a good idea and I voiced my opinion. I immediately regretted it. I wanted to take the words back, but unfortunately, once something has been said it can’t be undone.
I don’t always think before I speak. I don’t always have a meek and quiet spirit in my home the way I want to – the way I know God wants me to. I want to make it easy for my husband to lead me and our children. When we as wives give up our #1 status and allow our husbands to be the head our home, God will bless us.
Ask yourself some questions:
- Do I allow my husband the freedom to make decisions or do I always insist my way is better?
- Do I treat my husband like he is just another child, incapable of doing anything right?
- Do I belittle my husbands efforts (however few) to be the leader of our home?
- Do I punish my husband with words or silence when I don’t get my way?
- Do I insult his intelligence and his dignity with words of wrath?
- Do I harbor anger or resentment toward my husband?
- Do I allow God to opportunity to grow my husband as the head of our home?
What if your husband has lost your respect because of his own actions? Some husbands are not faithfully leading their wives. Sometimes husbands make really bad choices or emotionally abandon their families. I won’t lie, that’s a hard place to be. Sometimes prayer and faithful kindness works to change your husband’s heart. Sometimes praying harder is not the answer and being kinder or more loving will never be enough.
Join me over the next two weeks as we work to develop a deeper, stronger faith and a meeker, quieter spirit. You won’t regret it!
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