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Wives Submit to Your Husbands | Day 8

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Welcome to Day 8 of our series, From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home. Today we’re talking about a subject that is often controversial and very much misunderstood. What does biblical submission really mean?

Wives submit to your husbands @ AVirtuousWoman.org

I’m sorry today’s post is up late! I basically blog in the in-between times of my life. And last night it just didn’t happen! By the time we got home from our community choir practice it was almost 10:00 and then I had to get my girls ready for bed and I didn’t sleep well the night before – tossed and turned all night – so I was exhausted and couldn’t keep going. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are super busy days for me, which means I usually try to get my blogging for the week done on Sunday and Monday. It just didn’t happen this week so I may just be behind for a couple days!

From Chaos to Calm: Day Eight

Wives Submit to Your Husbands

Scripture Memory: “Ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” 1 Peter 3:1

You can find the rest of this 75 day series here.

I want you to really look at your marriage. In your prayer journal write down at least ten things you love about your husband. Then write down a few things in your marriage you know could use some work. Ask God to show you how YOU can change to make your marriage better.

Remember, this week is not about how to change your husband so you have a happy marriage. It is about how YOU can change to become the wife your husband needs you to be as well as how you can become the wife God wants you to be.

In Genesis 3:16, after the fall of man, we find God speaking to Adam and Eve, giving them instructions about what was to come when they left their garden home. God addressed Eve and told her that her desire would be for her husband – and that her husband would rule over her.

Before you bristle with thoughts such as – “BUT, we are equals!” 0r “NO ONE rules over me!” or “There is no way I will ever let anyone walk all over me!” – I want you to just sit and be quiet for a few minutes and really think about it. This is God’s design for a happy marriage. God’s ways are not our ways. The Bible says, “He that keepeth the commandment keepeth his own soul; but he that despiseth his ways shall die.” Proverbs 19:16

Here in the very beginning of time, God has commanded the woman to desire her husband and submit to him. This can be so hard, I know! However, the blessings that come when you submit to your husband are plentiful.

Please Note: Submission does not mean that you allow your husband to verbally or physically abuse you. Submission does not mean that you do everything your husband says if he is asking you to break God’s law. Submission does not mean your husband does not have an obligation to treat you with love and respect. Submission isn’t about your husband having power over you.

It simply means you allow your husband to lead and you show him respect. 

You are to respect your husband in your daily living. As a Godly wife, you will not nag him, talk down to him, treat him like one of the children, or even make fun of him.

You should never correct your husband in public. If he is telling a story and he gets a point wrong, fight the urge to show how much smarter you think you are! Allow him the freedom to talk without correction.

Today’s Scripture memory says, “Ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” 1 Peter 3:1

When you show your husband respect you are ultimately setting a Christ like example to him. By showing him respect, his own heart will be converted. How powerful that verse above is! You have the power to win your husband to Christ! Simply by showing him respect, honor and love!

Men feel loved when they are respected. Allow your husband to wear the pants! Have you ever seen a couple that you just know the husband is “hen pecked?” In this type of relationship, the wife often comes across as bossy, arrogant, and in control. Whereas, the husband comes across as wimpy, sheep-like, and beaten down. Not very attractive, huh?

In your daily prayers ask God to show you how to be submissive toward your husband. Ask him to show you when you step out of bounds. In my house, my husband is the boss – even if I do not agree with him. Funny enough, every time I have been disagreeable about an important decision he has made, God has shown me how wrong I was when I look back and realize my husband made just the right decision! It can be humbling!

If your husband makes chronically bad decisions, poor choices, or is undisciplined in his life, pray for him. Ask God to give your husband wisdom in his daily experience. Ask God to bless him with sound judgment. Ask God to show him when he errs. If a husband makes a bad decision and has to face the consequences, i.e. losing money on a deal, there will be little need for you to say, “I told you so! How could you be so stupid!” He will already know.

How much more loving would it be for you to instead say, “Let’s pray about this together. I am sorry things didn’t go the way you envisioned.” And follow up with daily prayer for him during your morning prayers.

I want you to end your devotion with a special prayer for your husband. Write it down in your journal. You might want to pray about:

  • his day
  • his work
  • his health
  • his mind
  • his integrity
  • his self-worth

Finally, pray for your own wisdom – that you might be the wife your husband needs you to be.

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From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home is a daily devotion – Monday through Friday for 15 Weeks by Melissa Ringstaff. The Audio Podcast gives you extra ideas to go along with the email series or e-book.

 


From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home @ AVirtuousWoman.org

From Chaos to Calm eBook

If you’ve been struggling with your home, your marriage, your children, or just life in general this might be the answer you have been waiting for! Inside the pages of this ebook you will spend 15 weeks working toward a goal for:

– peace in the heart
– peace in the home
– peace with our husbands
– peace with our children


Do you struggle with this issue? How do you show respect to your husband?

Free Printable Prayer Journal

Be Still and Know Prayer Journal @ AVirtuousWoman.org
Be Still and Know Prayer Journal

How to Download

  1. Just fill out the form below and you’ll receive an email giving you access to my subscriber exclusive resource library where you’ll find this and many more resources for your home and family! 
  2. You’ll find this sweet Prayer Journal in the Abundant Living section of the library.

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20 Comments

  1. Oooo Melissa! You hit my prickly spot. I'm going to need prayer on this one. My husband has anger issues (I've got the holes in the walls to prove it) and says very belittling things to me. I think divorce a lot. Respecting and forgiving him is my biggest challenge.
    1. Leigh, I completely understand. I believe that anger is a form of emotional abuse. All relationships need boundaries. The occassional outburst is one thing. Feeling like you have to walk on egg shells or like you never know from one moment to the next what is going to "set him off" is another issue altogether. My heart goes out to you. It is OKAY to stand up for yourself. It is OKAY to say, "This is NOT OKAY." I know some people say that the Bible does not say "Only submit to your husband if he's a good husband." However, I do not believe that God expects any of His children to endure any type of abuse. I'm not saying that divorce is the only answer or even the best answer, but setting boundaries is crucial in any healthy relationship! A great book on the subject is: Boundaries in Marriage I've been divorced. I know what it's like. Feel free to email me if you want to talk!
  2. I first want to thank God for you! You have truly been a blessing to my life and your lessons have been food to my soul!!! I have been listening to your teachings for about 1 week now and I have learned so much! I am listening to "From Choas to Calm", and it has helped me so much!! Now every morning,while it's quiet, I read the word and have a daily lesson with you!! I look forward to it every morning!!:-)
  3. As I am sitting here searching for the words to tell you what's going on in my head right now, tears flow freely. This post has ministered to me, dealt straight to the heart of matters I had no idea were present. I have so much to work on. Melissa, the wisdom God has given you, the way you speak. I have come to a new level in my salvation in the past few weeks and I am seriously working on myself and my marriage. Do you have a study on how to be this wife? I'm so addicted to this "From Chaos to Calm" devotional.
    1. Hi Ayron! It's so nice to "see" you again today. I'm glad you're being blessed by the devotional series! I do have another 14 day series on being a wife - called "The Heart of Her Husband". Maybe I'll do another series on marriage in the coming weeks. If you have any questions, let me know! :)
  4. Thank you so much for these devotions! They have been such a blessing to me! I struggle with sticking on a schedule when it comes to my quiet time with God, and this has helped me from the start! I am actually waking up before the kids (where I just didn't have the motivation before!) And It seems everyday's topic is just what I need for that day! Thank you :)
  5. Your devotional come to me as an answered prayer! My husband has been so stressed that he started to withdraw himself from the family. I kept asking him what can I do to help and praying to God because I started to become bitter. After reading this devotional I made a conscious effort to change how I acted towards him. It was so helpful. He helped with the children, helped me with dinner and sat with me for over 2hrs. I am so grateful; of course I know today or even tomorrow will show some challenges but now I know what God wants me do as a wife.
  6. This is so powerful. I would love to even see in future a whole series on honour and respect. There is already a few things to work on, but I believe there is so much more to discover on this topic.
  7. I looked up your story hour.... Is there any other cd's you can recommend for teens as well as adults (I am 63 and need all the help I can get.
    1. Kathy, I'll give it some thought! I do know you can listen to the Your Story Hour podcasts for free here: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/your-story-hour/custom-player or in itunes. They have a weekly radio broadcast. Not all of their broadcasts are Bible stories, a lot of them are character building stories, but they are all good! You could also try an dramatized audio Bible like this one: http://amzn.to/1HWcoDr but I haven't listened to this particular audio Bible myself. It has good reviews though. :) If you find anything else be sure to come back and share!
  8. Thank you for this. Just yesterday I started going through The Power of a Praying Wife again. Money is tight which ALWAYS makes things strained and difficult between my husband and me. This reminder to pray for him rather than fight against him is so timely! Funny how that happens, huh?
  9. Thank you for this lesson. Especially yhe part of abuse. The ex was abusive. My husband now was abused by his ex. So we try hard to be kind and tenderhearted towards each other. We hang out together even. We both are disabled from service. He could be mean and nasty but he is a sweetheart. We have our issues but we pray together .
  10. Hi, I know that the Lord has sent me to this page and I am indeed thankful. I am a Pastor's wife for only a couple years and I am having a real tough time! I have pointed the finger of blame at him instead of concentrating on MYSELF. We both have said and done hurtful things to one another. It took him awhile to settle down in the beginning of our marriage and I have blamed him for his past, done things to make up for the hurt I've experienced and made it almost impossible for our marriage to survive. But God's grace and His mercy are forever present and by His grace we will be better than ever as we get it together. I LOVE this website just in the few minutes that I have scrolled through it. I would like to start at day one on the Wives Submit to your Husbands. Also I love the Clean the Home section too! There are a few ladies in the church that could really benefit from these blogs as well. Thank you for allowing God to use you in a mighty way. You have saved me a lot of research and have helped many marriages by using God's word to become a virtuos wife. God Bless you!
    1. Hi Kim! Thank you for sharing some of your story with me. As a pastor's wife myself, I know how hard it can be! I've been there and still struggle at times. I look forward to chatting with you again soon. Let me know how things go or if you have any other questions!

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