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Wives submit to your husbands @ AVirtuousWoman.org

Wives Submit to Your Husbands | Day 8

“Ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” 1 Peter 3:1

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here.

Welcome to Day 8 of our series, From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home. Today we’re talking about a subject that is often controversial and very much misunderstood. What does biblical submission really mean?

Wives submit to your husbands @ AVirtuousWoman.org

I’m sorry today’s post is up late! I basically blog in the in-between times of my life. And last night it just didn’t happen! By the time we got home from our community choir practice it was almost 10:00 and then I had to get my girls ready for bed and I didn’t sleep well the night before – tossed and turned all night – so I was exhausted and couldn’t keep going. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are super busy days for me, which means I usually try to get my blogging for the week done on Sunday and Monday. It just didn’t happen this week so I may just be behind for a couple days!

From Chaos to Calm: Day Eight

Wives Submit to Your Husbands

Scripture Memory: “Ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” 1 Peter 3:1

You can find the rest of this 75 day series here.

I want you to really look at your marriage. In your prayer journal write down at least ten things you love about your husband. Then write down a few things in your marriage you know could use some work. Ask God to show you how YOU can change to make your marriage better.

Remember, this week is not about how to change your husband so you have a happy marriage. It is about how YOU can change to become the wife your husband needs you to be as well as how you can become the wife God wants you to be.

In Genesis 3:16, after the fall of man, we find God speaking to Adam and Eve, giving them instructions about what was to come when they left their garden home. God addressed Eve and told her that her desire would be for her husband – and that her husband would rule over her.

Before you bristle with thoughts such as – “BUT, we are equals!” 0r “NO ONE rules over me!” or “There is no way I will ever let anyone walk all over me!” – I want you to just sit and be quiet for a few minutes and really think about it. This is God’s design for a happy marriage. God’s ways are not our ways. The Bible says, “He that keepeth the commandment keepeth his own soul; but he that despiseth his ways shall die.” Proverbs 19:16

Here in the very beginning of time, God has commanded the woman to desire her husband and submit to him. This can be so hard, I know! However, the blessings that come when you submit to your husband are plentiful.

Please Note: Submission does not mean that you allow your husband to verbally or physically abuse you. Submission does not mean that you do everything your husband says if he is asking you to break God’s law. Submission does not mean your husband does not have an obligation to treat you with love and respect. Submission isn’t about your husband having power over you.

It simply means you allow your husband to lead and you show him respect. 

You are to respect your husband in your daily living. As a Godly wife, you will not nag him, talk down to him, treat him like one of the children, or even make fun of him.

You should never correct your husband in public. If he is telling a story and he gets a point wrong, fight the urge to show how much smarter you think you are! Allow him the freedom to talk without correction.

Today’s Scripture memory says, “Ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” 1 Peter 3:1

When you show your husband respect you are ultimately setting a Christ like example to him. By showing him respect, his own heart will be converted. How powerful that verse above is! You have the power to win your husband to Christ! Simply by showing him respect, honor and love!

Men feel loved when they are respected. Allow your husband to wear the pants! Have you ever seen a couple that you just know the husband is “hen pecked?” In this type of relationship, the wife often comes across as bossy, arrogant, and in control. Whereas, the husband comes across as wimpy, sheep-like, and beaten down. Not very attractive, huh?

In your daily prayers ask God to show you how to be submissive toward your husband. Ask him to show you when you step out of bounds. In my house, my husband is the boss – even if I do not agree with him. Funny enough, every time I have been disagreeable about an important decision he has made, God has shown me how wrong I was when I look back and realize my husband made just the right decision! It can be humbling!

If your husband makes chronically bad decisions, poor choices, or is undisciplined in his life, pray for him. Ask God to give your husband wisdom in his daily experience. Ask God to bless him with sound judgment. Ask God to show him when he errs. If a husband makes a bad decision and has to face the consequences, i.e. losing money on a deal, there will be little need for you to say, “I told you so! How could you be so stupid!” He will already know.

How much more loving would it be for you to instead say, “Let’s pray about this together. I am sorry things didn’t go the way you envisioned.” And follow up with daily prayer for him during your morning prayers.

I want you to end your devotion with a special prayer for your husband. Write it down in your journal. You might want to pray about:

  • his day
  • his work
  • his health
  • his mind
  • his integrity
  • his self-worth

Finally, pray for your own wisdom – that you might be the wife your husband needs you to be.

More Resources:

  • Anger and Emotional Abuse in Marriage
  • Q & A: My Husband is Grumpy in the Mornings
  • 7 Misconceptions about Submission

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From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home is a daily devotion – Monday through Friday for 15 Weeks by Melissa Ringstaff. The Audio Podcast gives you extra ideas to go along with the email series or e-book.

 


From Chaos to Calm: 15 Weeks to a Happy Home @ AVirtuousWoman.org

From Chaos to Calm eBook

If you’ve been struggling with your home, your marriage, your children, or just life in general this might be the answer you have been waiting for! Inside the pages of this ebook you will spend 15 weeks working toward a goal for:

– peace in the heart
– peace in the home
– peace with our husbands
– peace with our children

$7.00 – Purchase Checkout Added to cart

Do you struggle with this issue? How do you show respect to your husband?

Free Printable Prayer Journal

Be Still and Know Prayer Journal @ AVirtuousWoman.org
Be Still and Know Prayer Journal

How to Download

  1. Just fill out the form below and you’ll receive an email giving you access to my subscriber exclusive resource library where you’ll find this and many more resources for your home and family! 
  2. You’ll find this sweet Prayer Journal in the Abundant Living section of the library.
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About Melissa Ringstaff

My name is Melissa Ringstaff and I've been blogging here at A Virtuous Woman since 2001. I'm a pastor's wife and homeschooling mom living in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains of Southeastern KY. I believe in finding freedom from perfection and living life with purpose and I want to help you do exactly that.

I'm so glad you've stopped by to visit with me. I hope we can be friends!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Leigh

    March 6, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Oooo Melissa! You hit my prickly spot. I'm going to need prayer on this one. My husband has anger issues (I've got the holes in the walls to prove it) and says very belittling things to me. I think divorce a lot. Respecting and forgiving him is my biggest challenge.
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      March 6, 2013 at 2:56 pm

      Leigh, I completely understand. I believe that anger is a form of emotional abuse. All relationships need boundaries. The occassional outburst is one thing. Feeling like you have to walk on egg shells or like you never know from one moment to the next what is going to "set him off" is another issue altogether. My heart goes out to you. It is OKAY to stand up for yourself. It is OKAY to say, "This is NOT OKAY." I know some people say that the Bible does not say "Only submit to your husband if he's a good husband." However, I do not believe that God expects any of His children to endure any type of abuse. I'm not saying that divorce is the only answer or even the best answer, but setting boundaries is crucial in any healthy relationship! A great book on the subject is: Boundaries in Marriage I've been divorced. I know what it's like. Feel free to email me if you want to talk!
      Reply
  2. Krysta

    March 7, 2013 at 7:01 am

    Today is my husband's birthday :) Prefect topic!
    Reply
  3. Tracie

    December 3, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    I needed this reminder today. Thank you. I'll be praying on this topic for sure!
    Reply
  4. Monica Batts

    July 23, 2014 at 6:33 am

    I first want to thank God for you! You have truly been a blessing to my life and your lessons have been food to my soul!!! I have been listening to your teachings for about 1 week now and I have learned so much! I am listening to "From Choas to Calm", and it has helped me so much!! Now every morning,while it's quiet, I read the word and have a daily lesson with you!! I look forward to it every morning!!:-)
    Reply
  5. Ayron

    August 25, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    As I am sitting here searching for the words to tell you what's going on in my head right now, tears flow freely. This post has ministered to me, dealt straight to the heart of matters I had no idea were present. I have so much to work on. Melissa, the wisdom God has given you, the way you speak. I have come to a new level in my salvation in the past few weeks and I am seriously working on myself and my marriage. Do you have a study on how to be this wife? I'm so addicted to this "From Chaos to Calm" devotional.
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      August 26, 2014 at 9:09 am

      Hi Ayron! It's so nice to "see" you again today. I'm glad you're being blessed by the devotional series! I do have another 14 day series on being a wife - called "The Heart of Her Husband". Maybe I'll do another series on marriage in the coming weeks. If you have any questions, let me know! :)
      Reply
  6. Missy Clark

    October 14, 2014 at 10:37 am

    Thank you so much for these devotions! They have been such a blessing to me! I struggle with sticking on a schedule when it comes to my quiet time with God, and this has helped me from the start! I am actually waking up before the kids (where I just didn't have the motivation before!) And It seems everyday's topic is just what I need for that day! Thank you :)
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      October 14, 2014 at 10:42 am

      Missy, I'm so glad you've found the series helpful. I hope you continue to be blessed!
      Reply
  7. Lisa

    October 25, 2014 at 7:50 am

    Your devotional come to me as an answered prayer! My husband has been so stressed that he started to withdraw himself from the family. I kept asking him what can I do to help and praying to God because I started to become bitter. After reading this devotional I made a conscious effort to change how I acted towards him. It was so helpful. He helped with the children, helped me with dinner and sat with me for over 2hrs. I am so grateful; of course I know today or even tomorrow will show some challenges but now I know what God wants me do as a wife.
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      October 25, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      Oh, Lisa! God is so good! There will be challenges and your faith will be tested, but stand strong and healing will begin. God bless you!
      Reply
  8. Annchen

    December 30, 2014 at 6:20 am

    This is so powerful. I would love to even see in future a whole series on honour and respect. There is already a few things to work on, but I believe there is so much more to discover on this topic.
    Reply
  9. Kathy

    August 19, 2015 at 9:25 am

    I looked up your story hour.... Is there any other cd's you can recommend for teens as well as adults (I am 63 and need all the help I can get.
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      August 19, 2015 at 1:43 pm

      Kathy, I'll give it some thought! I do know you can listen to the Your Story Hour podcasts for free here: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/your-story-hour/custom-player or in itunes. They have a weekly radio broadcast. Not all of their broadcasts are Bible stories, a lot of them are character building stories, but they are all good! You could also try an dramatized audio Bible like this one: http://amzn.to/1HWcoDr but I haven't listened to this particular audio Bible myself. It has good reviews though. :) If you find anything else be sure to come back and share!
      Reply
  10. Alek Drake

    August 19, 2015 at 11:23 am

    Thank you for this. Just yesterday I started going through The Power of a Praying Wife again. Money is tight which ALWAYS makes things strained and difficult between my husband and me. This reminder to pray for him rather than fight against him is so timely! Funny how that happens, huh?
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      August 19, 2015 at 1:20 pm

      I know what you mean! Financial strains can be hard on any relationship. God is good to send us reminders, isn't he? God bless you!
      Reply
  11. Gloria Jacobsen

    August 19, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    Thank you for this lesson. Especially yhe part of abuse. The ex was abusive. My husband now was abused by his ex. So we try hard to be kind and tenderhearted towards each other. We hang out together even. We both are disabled from service. He could be mean and nasty but he is a sweetheart. We have our issues but we pray together .
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      August 19, 2015 at 11:47 pm

      I understand - I've been there. I'm so glad to hear you and your husband are tenderhearted toward one another. That's wonderful!
      Reply
  12. Kim

    August 20, 2015 at 8:09 am

    Hi, I know that the Lord has sent me to this page and I am indeed thankful. I am a Pastor's wife for only a couple years and I am having a real tough time! I have pointed the finger of blame at him instead of concentrating on MYSELF. We both have said and done hurtful things to one another. It took him awhile to settle down in the beginning of our marriage and I have blamed him for his past, done things to make up for the hurt I've experienced and made it almost impossible for our marriage to survive. But God's grace and His mercy are forever present and by His grace we will be better than ever as we get it together. I LOVE this website just in the few minutes that I have scrolled through it. I would like to start at day one on the Wives Submit to your Husbands. Also I love the Clean the Home section too! There are a few ladies in the church that could really benefit from these blogs as well. Thank you for allowing God to use you in a mighty way. You have saved me a lot of research and have helped many marriages by using God's word to become a virtuos wife. God Bless you!
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      August 20, 2015 at 11:26 pm

      Hi Kim! Thank you for sharing some of your story with me. As a pastor's wife myself, I know how hard it can be! I've been there and still struggle at times. I look forward to chatting with you again soon. Let me know how things go or if you have any other questions!
      Reply

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Freedom from perfection. 🪁
Live with purpose. ✝️
Proverbs 31 for modern women. 👱‍♀️
Wife + Mama + Homemaker + Kentucky
Life: @melissa.ringstaff

Melissa Ringstaff
Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just because there was a pandemic. Our family has faced many trying times in the past but 2020 gave us some doozies.  I’m looking forward to a new year. The beginning of the new year always feels like a fresh start to me. It feels like HOPE.  But the truth is, whatever heartaches and hardships you and I were facing on Dec. 31 will most likely still be there on Jan. 1.  That’s why it’s hard to keep New Years resolutions. It’s easy to feel motivated for a few days or a couple weeks until we realize life hasn’t really changed and things are still hard.  But if we want to see real change it takes hard work and real effort. It takes showing up every day - even when it’s hard.  Whether that means working on your fractured relationships or setting healthy boundaries or cultivating self disciple... whatever that hard thing is that you need to work on ... it will only get better if you work on it.  We aren’t promised an easy life. But we are promised an “Ever Present Help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1  *
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth#proverbs31women #proverbs31life #10virtues #daughteroftheking #jesuslovesme #womenoffaith #faithquotes #proverbs31
We’re coming into the new year with all the same We’re coming into the new year with all the same problems we had in the last year. And that’s okay! Life doesn’t have to be perfect to still be amazing. Perfectionism is a joy stealer. Let’s determine to enjoy life right now in all its messiness.  I believe you can find freedom from perfection and the confidence to live your life with purpose. #purposenotperfection  #christian #Jesus #love #quotes #quoteslife #quotestoliveby #godisgood #votd #lifequotes #inspirationalquotes #life #motivationalquotes #inspiration #bible #bb #bestoftheday #happiness #wordofgod
🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. 🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. It’s a ministry to your family and all who enter your home.  But I want you to know: You don’t have to be perfect. ❤️  There’s a fine line between teaching your children to be neat and insisting on perfection. No one can meet that kind of standard and it can be detrimental to the emotional health of your family.  What we want for our homes is to provide a space that is neat and clean enough that your family and friends feel comfortable and well loved.  There is freedom in accepting the fact that you’re not perfect. Not to make excuses for slovenliness - but to give yourself grace.  It’s when we recognize our weakness that we find ourselves reaching out to Jesus to receive the power that comes only from him. As homemakers, when we can find grace for the moment when we accept His Gift.  “But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the LORD our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. Ezra 9:8  Let His Grace wash over you, cleanse your weary heart. Homemaking isn’t about creating a perfect space. It’s about creating a home where loved ones feel cared for and nurtured. 
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #wearethehomemakers
❤️Your attitude about homemaking matters.⠀
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A homemaker by definition is someone who manages and makes a home. 🏠⠀
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But, anyone can clean and organize a home. ⠀
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☑️ Homemaking is about more than checking off the items on your to do list.⠀
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Learning how to be a homemaker means you learn how to make your home feel like haven of peace and love. You seek out ways to make your home feel inviting. You work at it.⠀
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There is no easy button for homemaking. There are easier, more efficient ways to do chores, but the chores still have to be done. If you live in a house, you will create the need for the house to be tidied every day and cleaned on a regular basis.⠀
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Having the right attitude about homemaking is the first step in learning how to be a homemaker.⠀
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The good news is, even if you’ve been struggling with your homemaking, you can always go to God and ask Him for help. ⠀
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He sees the unseen work of your hands. And He loves you very, very much. He wants to help you succeed. ⠀
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking  #youngwife #housewife
🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regu 🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regular time with Jesus every day, you’re not alone. Lots of busy Christian women struggle to find time for a daily prayer and devotion time. ⠀
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But I still want to encourage you to start your day with God! ⠀
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⏰ If it’s hard to spend 30 minutes in the morning for a quiet time, I want you to remember you can still begin your day with God – even if that means saying a short prayer before your feet hit the floor in the morning.⠀
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✝️ I also want to encourage you to memorize this verse:⠀
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“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.⠀
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8 📖⠀
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In the morning you can recite this verse and say a prayer. It doesn’t have to take a long time. Although – if you do have time – you will be greatly blessed by spending more time in prayer and devotion.⠀
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📌 Free Printable Morning Prayer Prompts on the blog today: https://avirtuouswoman.org/morning-prayer-prompts/  #linkinbio ⠀
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth #Christ #Church #Christian #Jesus #Jesuslover #JesusChrist #JesusisLord #CreatorGod #Devotional #verseoftheday #Love #Faith #biblestudy #God #dailydevotional
🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be inte 🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be intentional with how I plan our days. I love any opportunity to create a good memories at home for my family and guests. ⠀⠀
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📌 If you're looking to make this holiday season really special, you need to be intentional. Goodness knows 2020 has had a lot of ups and downs. And maybe you feel like it's been mostly downs. ⠀⠀
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🎄 But the holiday season is a chance to focus on celebrating the life we have right now. Things don't need to be perfect for us to celebrate life right now!!⠀⠀
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☑️ Inside the pages of my Purpose 31 holiday planner, you'll find 8 weeks of planning and cleaning all laid out for you. Recipe pages, journaling pages, and more - 120 pages total. ⠀⠀
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✏️ The Purpose 31 Holiday Planner is by far one of the most popular resource I produce each year. ⠀⠀
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Thousands of women have downloaded it over the last four years I've offered it.⠀⠀
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So, even though it's early still, you can go ahead and downlaod it. Print it out and then set it up so you're ready to go.⠀⠀
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I usually take my holiday planner down to Office Depot and have them spiral bind it with a plastic cover for about $5.00. This year, though, I just bought a new 3 ring binder at Walmart, printed off extra cover pages to slip in the clear sleeve, and created a binder with it. ⠀⠀
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📌📌📌 If you use the planner this year, be sure to share and tag me in your photos! ❤️⠀  Download: https://avirtuouswoman.org/holiday-planner/ #linkinbio
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #christmas #holidayplanning #planningaddict #plannercommunity #freeprintables #thanksgiving #christmastree  #plannerobsessed
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