Proverbs 31 Bible Study | How to Be a Faithful Wife
Welcome to Lesson 2 of our Proverbs 31 Bible Study! I’m so glad you’re here! Today we are looking at how the Proverbs 31 woman, the bride of Christ is a faithful wife. So, let’s get started.
Anchor Text: The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12
A Proverbs 31 Bible Study: She is Trustworthy
If you missed the introduction to this study, you can find it here.
Last time we talked about how Proverbs 31 gives us a beautiful picture of Christ’s relationship with his bride, the church. It’s so amazing to me how God gives us these glimpses of His character all throughout Scripture. He loves us so much!!
So in today’s Proverbs 31 Bible Study, we’re going to be diving into the next two verses of Proverbs 31 and looking at how the virtuous woman is a trustworthy helpmeet. So often women feel like they can’t be Proverbs 31 women because they are not married. However, as you will see, being a virtuous woman is about so much more than being married to a man or even a checklist of good deeds.
In fact, when we understand that in Biblical prophecy the church is often described as a woman, we also realize that men and women are part of that analogy. As believers, Christian men and women are all part of God’s church, the bride of Christ! The Proverbs 31 woman is an example to all believers, not just women.
Spiritual Application: A Faithful Wife
We see in verse 11 that the Proverbs 31 woman can be trusted. Her husband doesn’t have to worry about what she’s doing. He knows he can trust her!
related: Read the King James Version of Proverbs 31 (KJV) here.
So what does it mean to be trustworthy and how does this apply to God’s church? If we look at the definition of the word trustworthy we see that it means: able to be relied on as honest or truthful.
Some of the synonyms of the word trustworthy are:
- reliable
- dependable
- honest
- full of integrity
- honorable
- principled
- truthful
- virtuous
- responsible
There are other synonyms but I think you get the idea. Just from this list of words, we can get a pretty good picture of the kind of person this verse represents. What it all boils down to is that she is a faithful wife.
She is faithful to what God has called her to do.
The bride of Christ is trustworthy and she does good and not evil all the days of her life. If the bride of Christ represents God’s pure church, we can infer that God’s people are called to do good and not evil.
How often do we are church members hurt others in our midst? I don’t know about you, but I’ve met more than my fair share of critical, unhappy Christians in the church. This shouldn’t be so!
Christians are Called: Are you faithful in your calling?
“Wherefore, holy brethren, partakers of the heavenly calling, consider the Apostle and High Priest of our profession, Christ Jesus; Who was faithful to him that appointed him, as also Moses was faithful in all his house.” Hebrews 3:1-2
God has called each one of us as part of the church body to do something. He’s made each one of us unique. We are all called to different walks of life, different vocations, different places, different lives. But we are all called to live faithfully wherever we find ourselves.
#1. We are called to turn away from sin.
“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord…” Acts 3:19
Christ has called each one of us to repent and turn away from sin! He is looking for a people who are without stain or blemish. You, my friend, have been called to present yourselves as holy before the Lord.
The first step of salvation is to repent of your sins and ask for forgiveness. The good news is that He is faithful to forgive our sins if we ask and He will remember them no more!
#2. We are called to follow Jesus.
“Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34
“Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” John 12:26
“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.” 1 Peter 2:21
The second step for salvation is to follow Jesus! He asks us to take up our cross and follow Him! Jesus gave His own life and died on the cross so that we might have everlasting life with Him.
What does it mean to take up your cross? Basically, it means that you are to die to your self. You let the old you go and you become a new creation in Jesus. Let Jesus be the master of your life today.
Once you’ve made that commitment to follow Jesus, you can share your decision with others and be baptized.
“And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.'” Acts 22:16
#3. We are called to share the gospel with others.
“He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:15-16
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8
Just like when something wonderful happens in your life, for example you get a new job or have a new baby, you want to share the good news with everyone around you. The same goes with salvation. Jesus is calling each one of us to share the good news of salvation with others around us.
If your house was on fire, you wouldn’t keep quiet and run out the door by yourself, you would yell and shout and alert everyone else in the house to get out! Sharing the gospel is like that. People around us are dying and they don’t even know it.
I’m not taking about this earthly death. We will all die one day if Jesus doesn’t return to take His people home in our lifetime. But I’m talking about dying the second death at the end of time.
“But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars–they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” Revelation 21:8
If you want your loved ones, your neighbors, and others in your community to have eternal life, you’ll share the good news with them, too!
#4. We are called to share our testimony.
“Then he said: ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard. And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’” Acts 22:14-16
“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” Revelation 12:11
“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…” 1 Peter 3:15
If you’ve ever read my testimony, you’ll know that I made mistakes that changed the course of my life. The good news is that God redeems the broken in spirit. That what He’s good at!
Whether you have a powerful testimony of how you hit rock bottom and reached out for Christ or whether you grew up in church and found salvation at a young age, you have a story. You have a testimony of what God has done in your life!
You are called to share that testimony with others. There are times when sharing your testimony is powerful and convicting. If you aren’t sure how to share your testimony, I want to encourage you to write out your testimony and think about how you could tell your story to others.
Here’s a great video you might enjoy about how to share your testimony with others:
#5. We are called to be an example to others.
“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12
“Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.” 2 Peter 2:12
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
There are times when speaking words and sharing your testimony is the right thing to do. But every moment of every day is the right time to be an example to others. Each day you wake up and your attitude, your actions, and your words tell the story of what God is doing in your life.
Love in Action
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:9-21
Practical Application: A Faithful Wife
Relationships are built on trust. If you are married, you already know that trust is a big issue. If you can’t trust your spouse, the rest of your relationship dynamics will suffer as well.
Looking at our anchor text for today, we see that the Proverbs 31 wife is trustworthy and good. She is a faithful wife. Her husband doesn’t have to worry about what she’s doing. He knows she will be faithful in all that her heart and hands find to do.
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12
Matthew Henry, in his Concise Commentary, says, “This is the description of a virtuous woman of those days, but the general outlines equally suit every age and nation. She is very careful to recommend herself to her husband’s esteem and affection, to know his mind, and is willing that he rule over her.
1. She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good.
2. She is one that takes pains in her duties, and takes pleasure in them. She is careful to fill up time, that none be lost. She rises early. She applies herself to the business proper for her, to women’s business. She does what she does, with all her power, and trifles not.
3. She makes what she does turn to good account by prudent management. Many undo themselves by buying, without considering whether they can afford it. She provides well for her house. She lays up for hereafter.
There are many different areas of a marriage where trust will play a part. As Proverbs 31 women, we can bless our husbands when we are faithful and trustworthy.
I heard a pastor say the other day, “If you’re married to a normal person, you’re going to have problems. If you’re married to an abnormal person, you’re going to have even more problems.”
Marriage is hard or can be hard for a lot of different reasons. Mainly because when two sinful people live together and do life together, they are going to fall short of the ideal.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
Most of us have an ideal image in our mind of what marriage and life will look like and when our spouse doesn’t meet that standard or when we fall short of that standard ourselves, it can be difficult to give each other grace. But grace is what we each need!
#1. Be a Faithful Wife
In a Christian marriage, two people will ideally love, honor, and cherish each other always. Mutual respect is crucial to a happy marriage. Selfish behavior leads to problems. And while we can’t control how our husbands behave, as wives we can strive to do our best each day to be faithful to what God has called us to do.
Think about these questions:
- Do you keep your heart and mind in check so that only your husband has your affection?
- Can your husband trust you to be mindful of the family budget?
- Do you hide things from your husband?
- Do you do your part around the house and keep it neat?
- Are you a good steward with your resources?
- Can your husband trust you to not waste money, food, or other goods?
- Are you short tempered or critical?
- Are you thoughtful toward your husband?
Author Sharon Jaynes says this: “In the book of Revelation in the Bible, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus: “I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4). Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament, and yet somewhere along the way they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold.
God gave the church two simple steps:
Remember and Return.
Remember how it was in the beginning.
Return and do the things you did at first.
Marriage is the human echo of Christ and the Church, and I believe we can apply those same two principles in our homes.
For most of us, life is just daily. However, the accumulation of small struggles can nibble like termites to undermine the foundation of what appears to be a healthy structure as surely as the unexpected, earth-shaking rumble of sudden disaster.
Whether you are struggling in your marriage or not, being faithful to what you have been called to do is where you can start today to grow and strengthen your marriage. Cultivating a life with someone needs tending. It’s not your job to change him. It is your job to ask Christ to change you.
When you first married your husband you probably felt butterflies in your tummy and you admired him. You felt giddy when he smiled at you and you longed to give him your best life. You wanted to do life with this man.
Every marriage is different and everyone’s circumstances are different, but what remains the same is that we all need to be able to trust each other to be faithful to the task whatever it may be.
#2. Be a Helpmeet to Your Husband
Proverbs 31:12 tells us that “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” A good wife makes her husband’s life easier.
In the beginning, in the Garden of Eden, God said, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18 KJV.
The English Standard Version Bible says it like this: “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”” Genesis 2:18.
The term “help meet” or “helpmeet” means “helper.”
We find that in the 1828 Webster’s dictionary, the word “meet” as an adjective means: Fit; suitable; proper; qualified; convenient; adapted, as to a use or purpose.
Basically, God’s saying that he would give man a woman who would be suitable for him. Someone who could be a companion to him.
Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
The Proverbs 31 woman, was a faithful wife who served her husband and her family well. She made her husband’s life easier. She was kind and thoughtful. She went out of her way to make him happy and we see in Proverbs 31:28 that “her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
#3. Show Respect
Good marriages are built on mutual trust and respect. I do want to note here that it is not possible to love your spouse without respecting them. The two are not mutually exclusive. Love and respect go hand in hand. Men and women both need to be treated with respect.
Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
A good wife will treat her husband with respect. What does it mean to respect your husband? On the website Love is Respect, respect in a healthy relationship looks like:
- Talking openly and honestly with each other
- Listening to each other
- Valuing each other’s feelings and needs
- Compromising
- Speaking kindly to and about each other
- Giving each other space
- Supporting each other’s interests, hobbies, careers, etc.
- Building each other up
- Honoring each other’s boundaries, no matter what
A good rule of thumb is to simply treat our spouse the way we would want to be treated. Think before you speak. Be thoughtful. Don’t try to control your husband. Show appreciation. Don’t talk bad about your husband to other people, instead brag on him!
#4. Be Humble and Kind
As a faithful wife and the bride of Christ, it is our duty to treat our husbands in a way that presents the gospel to them in action. In other words, let your husband see Christ in you.
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” 1 Peter 3:1-6
Your husband has a responsibility to treat you with respect too. Verse 7 goes on to say, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
You see, we are each one accountable for our own actions. In the book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, author Natalie Hoffman says:
Imagine that every person has a house and yard with a fence around it. Your husband does. Your kids do. Your siblings do. Your parents do. Your friends do. Your co-workers do. And so do you. It doesn’t matter what color you are, what gender you are, how much money you have, how smart or popular you are, your marital status, or where you live. You’ve been assigned to your own home and yard.
God gave you your house and yard, and He put a fence around it to show you where you ends and where your neighbor’s yard begins. The fence is your boundary.God doesn’t expect you to water or mow your husband’s lawn; however, He does expect you to water and mow yours.
In other words, just because you are married doesn’t give either of you free reign to disrespectfully tromp all over the other person’s house and yard. Sharing an intimate relationship absolutely requires respect of boundaries. – Natalie Hoffman, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, p. 212
A faithful wife is humble, she is kind, and she has a living faith that shines through everything she does. Her husband can see Christ in her through her words and actions. And a faithful wife respects her husband’s boundaries and makes sure he respects her boundaries too.
Action Steps to Take Today
- Ask God to show you areas of your life that you have not been faithful. We all have them!
- Write down three ways you could bless your husband this week. Surprise him!
- Print out today’s workbook and use it as you study – just fill out the form below.
- Remember that you are the bride of Christ and He loves you very much!
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