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A Grace Filled Marriage

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Grace Filled Marriage {We are called to love, support, and encourage.} | A Virtuous Woman #marriage

Guest Post by Jamie Lamson

Why is marriage so hard? Where are my warm rays of sunshine and smiling daisies? Where are the magical blue jays, giddy rabbits and frolicking deer singing about love and happily ever after? Where is my handsome prince on a white stallion carrying me off into the sunset?

[pullquote width=300 float=left]Marriage is tough. It is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to endure.[/pullquote]

It takes a lot of dependence and crying out to God, that’s for sure. It takes reliance on God’s grace. Buckets and buckets full. Well, lets be real. More like canyons filled to the brim.

The enemy has a way of wreaking havoc on us as women. On us as wives. And he will attack that sacred role every chance he gets.  For me, he uses jealousy, misunderstood information and personal offenses.

As I sit here, writing this, my husband and I haven’t spoken in about forty-two hours. That is two nights of sleeping alone. At least twelve kisses that we will never get to experience. Two and a half days of tainting our children’s outlook on how marriage is supposed to be. Six quiet meals eaten alone at an empty kitchen table.

And this one is a doozy: Forty-two hours of bitter, spiteful attitudes.

The relationship of marriage is an irreplaceable gift from God. A tangible example of how Christ loves His church. An earthly example of how Christ sacrificed for those He loved.

When we look at our husbands, do we look at them through the eyes that Christ does? Do we sacrificially love them as Christ loved us?  Do we extend our husbands the grace that Christ extends to us on a daily basis, down to the minute and the second?

I personally, would answer each of those questions with a shameful, “no.”

Guilty. I am guilty of not loving my husband how Christ would want me to. Guilty of pointing out his faults more than I praise the things that I love about him. Guilty of holding grudges over things that really do not matter.

As wives, we are called to bring good and not harm to our husbands all the days of our lives. {Proverbs 31:12}

We are called to love, support, encourage. We are called to selflessly put our husband’s needs above our own.  We are called to extend grace.

That same sweet grace that Christ offers when our tender, broken hearts come to Him. The undying grace that renews our souls and offers us a fresh start. A fresh start in our routines, our relationships with our children and in our sacred marriages.

You see, sweet friend, God isn’t calling us to be perfect wives. He is all the perfect we need.

God is simply refining our holiness through the means of our marriages. So, when we rely on Him to supply the love we need for deep emotional and physical intimacy with our husbands, we are allowing God to refine our role as a Christ follower. Our role as a wife.  Our role as Christ’s bride.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the gift of marriage, the gift of grace and for second chances. Lord, I ask you to fill my heart and thoughts with your perfect love. Help me to encourage and love my husband in ways that are pleasing to You. Thank you for the man that I call my husband.

How will you love and encourage your husband today?

About the author:

Jamie Lamson is a daughter in Christ, wife, mama, sister and friend. She homeschools her oldest three of five children, while changing diapers, editing photographs, researching gluten-free/dairy-free recipes and pursuing her love for Jesus and coffee. You can find her blogging over at www.alittlespotofgrace.com.


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Grace Filled Marriage {We are called to love, support, and encourage.} | A Virtuous Woman #marriage

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  1. Thank you for your honesty! The piece about the children, and the example we set, especially spoke to me. Without constant reminders, (devotionals, scirpture, and the words of other Christ Followers) being the Virtuous Woman God intended is impossible. I am definitely going to be repeating that prayer thru this week!
  2. I have been truly blessed,God sent me a man who has been a good husband.Not all days are a walk in the park,but on those day's we have made an agreement that only one of us gets to be crazy at a time.We believe that no matter what we took our vows and we WILL abide by them.But the main reason we are doing so well is because God is the center of our lives and always will be.
  3. Marriage can definitely be hard. I love your message and honesty. I have been sleeping alone for about a week now. I have my heartbroken because I feel so rejected by the man that God has given me. I feel that he has no desire for me. His words say, "I love you", but his actions say the opposite. I have been sincerely praying and talking to God about it. I am so frustrated and hurt, and it is hard to let go. I thank God for my husband every day and lift him up in prayer. I try to say encouraging things to him and show him my love for him. He is a good man, and I feel blessed to have him as my husband. I just wished he loved me and did not reject me. Hurting
    1. Dear Heartbroken, My heart goes out to you. I wish I could tell you what you can do to fix your marriage, but often it's not that easy. GOD knows your situation and He can provide you with the wisdom you need. I would suggest you seek marriage counseling... or maybe a weekend marriage retreat for couples. Try to get a discussion going, calmly and in a loving way, and open up about how you feel. Write a heartfelt letter to you husband. I don't know all of the details of your marriage so it makes it hard to know exactly what's going on or why your husband feels and acts the way he does. It may be that there needs to be emotional healing for your husband and even for you so that you can move forward in a healthy relationship together. I pray you find the answers you are looking for! Melissa
    2. I for sure do not have all the answers but I have often fallen back to writing out a long letter to him. That is how I show my true feelings and it really opens my husbands eyes. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers! I pray that everything will work out and you will feel so loved!

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