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A Wise Woman Builds Her Home @ AVirtuousWoman.org

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read my disclosure policy here.

There’s a verse in the Bible that speaks volumes. Proverbs 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her home.” Today we’re going to look at what this means for you and I today!

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home @ AVirtuousWoman.org

30 Days of Intentional Homemaking: Day 2

I’ll be honest. As a wife, mom, and homemaker I’ve made a lot of mistakes and there’s so many things I wish I could go back and do over! Unfortunately, that’s not really possible. All I can really do is move forward and try to do my best right now.

Yesterday we looked at what it means to make a home. Homemaking is so much more important than our society wants us to believe. And as women who have been called to the ministry of homemaking, we have a special honor and responsibility to care for our homes.

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Proverbs 14:1 says that a wise woman builds her home. So my question for you today is, are you building your home or are you foolishly tearing it down with the work of your own hands?

I became a first time mother at the very young age of fifteen years old. I married soon after and I was a terrible housekeeper. I tried really hard to be a good mom. I had so much to learn! And I desired greatly to be a good mom. But I was a terrible housekeeper.

Here’s a little truth for ya. It’s really hard to be a good housekeeper when you really hate housekeeping.

I was a terrible housekeeper and that needed to change, but before I could do better I needed an attitude adjustment! Some chores are seriously tedious, gross, or just mind numbing. I won’t lie. I personally hate things like cleaning out clogged drains or scrubbing the bath tub.

But you know what? It has to be done. 

Proverbs 31:13 tells us that the Proverbs 31 woman works with willing hands. Willing hands! Those two words speak volumes about her attitude.

She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. Proverbs 31:13

I don’t know about you but sometimes I struggle with my attitude. Some days I seek to serve myself more than I seek to serve others. Homemaking is a ministry. The word ministry is derived from the word minister.

To minister means: “attend to the needs of someone” – doesn’t that totally sum up homemaking? Every task you perform, every meal you prepare, every dish you wash, every nose you wipe, every kiss you give – you are ministering to the needs of someone you love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

So, a wise woman builds her home with love and works with willing hands. It’s all about attitude. When you wake up each morning, how do you greet the day? Do you feel frustrated before your feet hit the floor or do you wake up with a smile and a cheerful greeting? Some research suggests that the very act of smiling can make you feel happier!

Of course, no one feels happy all of the time. Life can be challenging, bad things happen, feelings get hurt, and sometimes life is truly hard. But it’s important that we shift our attitude and mindset to one that reflects Jesus. When we think of homemaking – and housekeeping – as a ministry it’s no longer an act of drudgery but an act of worship.

We can embrace our role as homemakers when we realize how special that role really is! Jesus tells us that people will know His followers by their fruits. We should seek to live out the fruits of the spirit in our lives and homes daily.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

A wise woman build her home with an attitude of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

There’s all kinds of ways that a woman can tear down her home instead of build it up. What are some other ways a woman can tear down her home?

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About Melissa Ringstaff

My name is Melissa Ringstaff and I've been blogging here at A Virtuous Woman since 2001. I'm a pastor's wife and homeschooling mom living in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains of Southeastern KY. I believe in finding freedom from perfection and living life with purpose and I want to help you do exactly that.

I'm so glad you've stopped by to visit with me. I hope we can be friends!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Emily

    April 18, 2018 at 11:34 am

    I am so greatful for your post. I am looking for some wisdom/advice. I know I do not have a good attitude towards home making right now, but it is stemming from frustration. I am married for a second time. My first husband was abusive, but I was able to leave. I did not get most of my household back for many years. A bit before my current husband and I got married I got my stuff. So I went into this marriage with basically 3 full households. We both worked full time and had my 3 young children, so needless to say I didn't declutter well. Fast forward to today. I have 1 teen (with Asperger's) at home that I homeschool. I have an eBay business. I do all the housework, financial stuff, cooking, etc. My husband is not happy with me. I can't seem to keep house well enough (his standard of a clean home is close to magazine worthy). Plus he wants to retire in about 5 years, maybe sooner. So he wants me to build up my business to a point that it will support us when he retires. I do not have time or energy to do both. To get my home up to his standard and maintain will be close to 6-8 hrs daily. Cooking and cleaning up for 3 meals takes me about 3-4 hrs daily. To get an eBay business up to the level he wants will take 10-12 hrs daily. He wants us in bed 8-9 hrs daily. It doesn't add up and there is no time figured in for me. I have told him the hours involved - "I don't know, I just know my mom did it" (she didn't have a job, nor did she homeschool or have child with any disabilities). I have aked for help - "I'm not going to tell you what to do, figure it out yourself" and "I've worked all day, I'm tired and don't feel like helping" and " that's not my responsibility to do chores". I have tried to focus mainly on the business and just maintain basic household chores -"A clean house is more important than money". But he keeps pushing for me to get my business to a level so he, not we, can retire very soon. Do you have any suggestions for me to get past my frustration, and how to focus my energy? I hate the way I am feeling towards my husband and my home. I get so frustrated that I just sit and basically do nothing, because I don't know what to do. I know I have to help bring in money because husband's income doesn't quite stretch enough. Thanks for hearing me out. Any advice would be appreciated.
    Reply
    • Melissa Ringstaff

      April 19, 2018 at 9:07 am

      Hi Emily, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate and that your husband is being unreasonable. Without knowing the full situation I am hesitant to give direct advice, but based on what you said, it sounds like your husband could be possibly emotionally abusive. Please read my articles here: Anger and Emotional Abuse within Marriage Emotional Abuse When Pray Harder isn't the Answer It would be important for you to set up healthy boundaries in your relationship which can be very difficult if you have already trained people to take advantage of you. But, it is possible and I would love for you to sit down and make a list of boundaries and then share the list with your husband and anyone else you feel may be taking unfair advantage of you. To learn more about boundaries and how to have healthy, personal boundaries is very important. If you have any other questions, please let me know. God bless you!
      Reply
  2. Hilda

    April 18, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    Hi Melissa, this is Hilda from Bangalore India....Just want to say that I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this blog... I Hope we can be friends too...
    Reply

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purposenotperfection

Freedom from perfection. 🪁
Live with purpose. ✝️
Proverbs 31 for modern women. 👱‍♀️
Wife + Mama + Homemaker + Kentucky
Life: @melissa.ringstaff

Melissa Ringstaff
Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just Not gonna lie. 2020 was a hard year. And not just because there was a pandemic. Our family has faced many trying times in the past but 2020 gave us some doozies.  I’m looking forward to a new year. The beginning of the new year always feels like a fresh start to me. It feels like HOPE.  But the truth is, whatever heartaches and hardships you and I were facing on Dec. 31 will most likely still be there on Jan. 1.  That’s why it’s hard to keep New Years resolutions. It’s easy to feel motivated for a few days or a couple weeks until we realize life hasn’t really changed and things are still hard.  But if we want to see real change it takes hard work and real effort. It takes showing up every day - even when it’s hard.  Whether that means working on your fractured relationships or setting healthy boundaries or cultivating self disciple... whatever that hard thing is that you need to work on ... it will only get better if you work on it.  We aren’t promised an easy life. But we are promised an “Ever Present Help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1  *
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth#proverbs31women #proverbs31life #10virtues #daughteroftheking #jesuslovesme #womenoffaith #faithquotes #proverbs31
We’re coming into the new year with all the same We’re coming into the new year with all the same problems we had in the last year. And that’s okay! Life doesn’t have to be perfect to still be amazing. Perfectionism is a joy stealer. Let’s determine to enjoy life right now in all its messiness.  I believe you can find freedom from perfection and the confidence to live your life with purpose. #purposenotperfection  #christian #Jesus #love #quotes #quoteslife #quotestoliveby #godisgood #votd #lifequotes #inspirationalquotes #life #motivationalquotes #inspiration #bible #bb #bestoftheday #happiness #wordofgod
🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. 🏠 Being a homemaker is such an important role. It’s a ministry to your family and all who enter your home.  But I want you to know: You don’t have to be perfect. ❤️  There’s a fine line between teaching your children to be neat and insisting on perfection. No one can meet that kind of standard and it can be detrimental to the emotional health of your family.  What we want for our homes is to provide a space that is neat and clean enough that your family and friends feel comfortable and well loved.  There is freedom in accepting the fact that you’re not perfect. Not to make excuses for slovenliness - but to give yourself grace.  It’s when we recognize our weakness that we find ourselves reaching out to Jesus to receive the power that comes only from him. As homemakers, when we can find grace for the moment when we accept His Gift.  “But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the LORD our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. Ezra 9:8  Let His Grace wash over you, cleanse your weary heart. Homemaking isn’t about creating a perfect space. It’s about creating a home where loved ones feel cared for and nurtured. 
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #wearethehomemakers
❤️Your attitude about homemaking matters.⠀
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A homemaker by definition is someone who manages and makes a home. 🏠⠀
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But, anyone can clean and organize a home. ⠀
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☑️ Homemaking is about more than checking off the items on your to do list.⠀
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Learning how to be a homemaker means you learn how to make your home feel like haven of peace and love. You seek out ways to make your home feel inviting. You work at it.⠀
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There is no easy button for homemaking. There are easier, more efficient ways to do chores, but the chores still have to be done. If you live in a house, you will create the need for the house to be tidied every day and cleaned on a regular basis.⠀
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Having the right attitude about homemaking is the first step in learning how to be a homemaker.⠀
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The good news is, even if you’ve been struggling with your homemaking, you can always go to God and ask Him for help. ⠀
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He sees the unseen work of your hands. And He loves you very, very much. He wants to help you succeed. ⠀
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking  #youngwife #housewife
🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regu 🙏 If you’ve found it difficult to have a regular time with Jesus every day, you’re not alone. Lots of busy Christian women struggle to find time for a daily prayer and devotion time. ⠀
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But I still want to encourage you to start your day with God! ⠀
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⏰ If it’s hard to spend 30 minutes in the morning for a quiet time, I want you to remember you can still begin your day with God – even if that means saying a short prayer before your feet hit the floor in the morning.⠀
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✝️ I also want to encourage you to memorize this verse:⠀
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“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.⠀
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8 📖⠀
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In the morning you can recite this verse and say a prayer. It doesn’t have to take a long time. Although – if you do have time – you will be greatly blessed by spending more time in prayer and devotion.⠀
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📌 Free Printable Morning Prayer Prompts on the blog today: https://avirtuouswoman.org/morning-prayer-prompts/  #linkinbio ⠀
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#faithblogger #faithfulness #faithandfamily #bibleverseaday #christianbloggers #dailyverses #christianlife #jesuscalling #shereadstruth #Christ #Church #Christian #Jesus #Jesuslover #JesusChrist #JesusisLord #CreatorGod #Devotional #verseoftheday #Love #Faith #biblestudy #God #dailydevotional
🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be inte 🏠 As a homemaker, one of my goals is to be intentional with how I plan our days. I love any opportunity to create a good memories at home for my family and guests. ⠀⠀
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📌 If you're looking to make this holiday season really special, you need to be intentional. Goodness knows 2020 has had a lot of ups and downs. And maybe you feel like it's been mostly downs. ⠀⠀
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🎄 But the holiday season is a chance to focus on celebrating the life we have right now. Things don't need to be perfect for us to celebrate life right now!!⠀⠀
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☑️ Inside the pages of my Purpose 31 holiday planner, you'll find 8 weeks of planning and cleaning all laid out for you. Recipe pages, journaling pages, and more - 120 pages total. ⠀⠀
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✏️ The Purpose 31 Holiday Planner is by far one of the most popular resource I produce each year. ⠀⠀
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Thousands of women have downloaded it over the last four years I've offered it.⠀⠀
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So, even though it's early still, you can go ahead and downlaod it. Print it out and then set it up so you're ready to go.⠀⠀
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I usually take my holiday planner down to Office Depot and have them spiral bind it with a plastic cover for about $5.00. This year, though, I just bought a new 3 ring binder at Walmart, printed off extra cover pages to slip in the clear sleeve, and created a binder with it. ⠀⠀
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📌📌📌 If you use the planner this year, be sure to share and tag me in your photos! ❤️⠀  Download: https://avirtuouswoman.org/holiday-planner/ #linkinbio
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#proverbs31 #proverbs31woman #purpose31 #10virtues #homemaking #homemakingministries #happyhomemaking #homemaking101 #cleanhome #cleanheart #fromchaostocalm #housekeeping #cleaningroutine #inspiredhome #makingahome #lovewhereyoudwell #homemaker #homebody #biblicalHomemaking #christmas #holidayplanning #planningaddict #plannercommunity #freeprintables #thanksgiving #christmastree  #plannerobsessed
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