A Wise Woman Builds Her Home | Home-Making & Proverbs 14:1

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Welcome to Day 2 of my series, Intentional Homemaking. There’s a verse in the Bible that speaks volumes. Proverbs 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her home.” Today we’re going to look at what this means for you and I today!

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home @ AVirtuousWoman.org

30 Days Of Intentional Homemaking: Day 2

Families need women who make home a special place to live, learn, and grow. There is no other job that presents as many opportunities for shaping (for the good or the bad) the future of our country – of our world – than that of a homemaker.

Intentional Homemaking @ AVirtuousWoman.org

Each of us is a homemaker. Whether you work outside the home or stay home full time, you are a homemaker. Whether you live with a big boisterous family or it’s just you and a couple of children – or just you and your husband – or even just you -, you are a homemaker. We’ve all been called to the ministry of homemaking.

You can find the rest of this series here.

➡️ Get today’s workbook here.

I’ll be honest. As a wife, mom, and homemaker I’ve made a lot of mistakes and there’s so many things I wish I could go back and do over! Unfortunately, that’s not really possible. All I can really do is move forward and try to do my best right now.

Yesterday we looked at what it means to make a home. Homemaking is so much more important than our society wants us to believe. And as women who have been called to the ministry of homemaking, we have a special honor and responsibility to care for our homes.

She Builds Her Home: Video

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Proverbs 14:1 says that a wise woman builds her home. So my question for you today is, are you building your home or are you foolishly tearing it down with the work of your own hands?

I became a first time mother at the very young age of fifteen years old. I married soon after and I was a terrible housekeeper. I tried really hard to be a good mom. I had so much to learn! And I desired greatly to be a good mom. But I was a terrible housekeeper.

Here’s a little truth for ya. It’s really hard to be a good housekeeper when you really hate housekeeping.

I was a terrible housekeeper and that needed to change, but before I could do better I needed an attitude adjustment! Some chores are seriously tedious, gross, or just mind numbing. I won’t lie. I personally hate things like cleaning out clogged drains or scrubbing the bath tub.

But you know what? It has to be done. 

Proverbs 31:13 tells us that the Proverbs 31 woman works with willing hands. Willing hands! Those two words speak volumes about her attitude.

She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. Proverbs 31:13

I don’t know about you but sometimes I struggle with my attitude. Some days I seek to serve myself more than I seek to serve others. Homemaking is a ministry. The word ministry is derived from the word minister.

To minister means: “attend to the needs of someone” – doesn’t that totally sum up homemaking? Every task you perform, every meal you prepare, every dish you wash, every nose you wipe, every kiss you give – you are ministering to the needs of someone you love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

So, a wise woman builds her home with love and works with willing hands. It’s all about attitude. When you wake up each morning, how do you greet the day? Do you feel frustrated before your feet hit the floor or do you wake up with a smile and a cheerful greeting? Some research suggests that the very act of smiling can make you feel happier!

Of course, no one feels happy all of the time. Life can be challenging, bad things happen, feelings get hurt, and sometimes life is truly hard. But it’s important that we shift our attitude and mindset to one that reflects Jesus. When we think of homemaking – and housekeeping – as a ministry it’s no longer an act of drudgery but an act of worship.

We can embrace our role as homemakers when we realize how special that role really is! Jesus tells us that people will know His followers by their fruits. We should seek to live out the fruits of the spirit in our lives and homes daily.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

A wise woman build her home with an attitude of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Action Steps to Take Today

  1. Pray and ask God to show you the areas where you are doing well to build up your home.
  2. Get today’s workbook pages and fill out the questions.
  3. Remember that your attitude toward homemaking will make a huge difference in how you enjoy your home.

There’s all kinds of ways that a woman can tear down her home instead of build it up. What are some other ways a woman can tear down her home?

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  1. I am so greatful for your post. I am looking for some wisdom/advice. I know I do not have a good attitude towards home making right now, but it is stemming from frustration. I am married for a second time. My first husband was abusive, but I was able to leave. I did not get most of my household back for many years. A bit before my current husband and I got married I got my stuff. So I went into this marriage with basically 3 full households. We both worked full time and had my 3 young children, so needless to say I didn't declutter well. Fast forward to today. I have 1 teen (with Asperger's) at home that I homeschool. I have an eBay business. I do all the housework, financial stuff, cooking, etc. My husband is not happy with me. I can't seem to keep house well enough (his standard of a clean home is close to magazine worthy). Plus he wants to retire in about 5 years, maybe sooner. So he wants me to build up my business to a point that it will support us when he retires. I do not have time or energy to do both. To get my home up to his standard and maintain will be close to 6-8 hrs daily. Cooking and cleaning up for 3 meals takes me about 3-4 hrs daily. To get an eBay business up to the level he wants will take 10-12 hrs daily. He wants us in bed 8-9 hrs daily. It doesn't add up and there is no time figured in for me. I have told him the hours involved - "I don't know, I just know my mom did it" (she didn't have a job, nor did she homeschool or have child with any disabilities). I have aked for help - "I'm not going to tell you what to do, figure it out yourself" and "I've worked all day, I'm tired and don't feel like helping" and " that's not my responsibility to do chores". I have tried to focus mainly on the business and just maintain basic household chores -"A clean house is more important than money". But he keeps pushing for me to get my business to a level so he, not we, can retire very soon. Do you have any suggestions for me to get past my frustration, and how to focus my energy? I hate the way I am feeling towards my husband and my home. I get so frustrated that I just sit and basically do nothing, because I don't know what to do. I know I have to help bring in money because husband's income doesn't quite stretch enough. Thanks for hearing me out. Any advice would be appreciated.
    1. Hi Emily, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate and that your husband is being unreasonable. Without knowing the full situation I am hesitant to give direct advice, but based on what you said, it sounds like your husband could be possibly emotionally abusive. Please read my articles here: Anger and Emotional Abuse within Marriage Emotional Abuse When Pray Harder isn't the Answer It would be important for you to set up healthy boundaries in your relationship which can be very difficult if you have already trained people to take advantage of you. But, it is possible and I would love for you to sit down and make a list of boundaries and then share the list with your husband and anyone else you feel may be taking unfair advantage of you. To learn more about boundaries and how to have healthy, personal boundaries is very important. If you have any other questions, please let me know. God bless you!
    2. Emily, It has been 2 yrs since this was posted and I just came upon this reading as I was studying my Bible this morning. I pray you have resolved your frustrations. It sounds like you had a lot going on. If you are still struggling and have not already, ask God to show you how to be a home maker. He will build you up with mercy, wisdom and guidance as He is a God of love. He loves you and wants to see you succeed. I am praying for you where ever you are Spiritually and physically. For all that you are going through today and the stage you are in at this time. I don’t know details, but He does. Hugs to you.
  2. Hi Melissa, this is Hilda from Bangalore India....Just want to say that I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this blog... I Hope we can be friends too...
      1. Hey Melissa, what a sweet name. My name is Alila Thiumai from India and iam happy to be your student. For me its not easy to be a homemaker and that may be because I fail to understand what you have said, Homemaking is a ministry and that makes the difference. Thank you so much. Looking forward for the next. Love you.❤️
  3. I love this so much God bless you,am going to change my ways so that I focus on building my home.
  4. Hi Melissa, thanks so much for this posting about how a woman can build their home or tearing it down. God as giving women such an amazing opportunity to build whether at home or on the Job. But we need to ask God for wisdom how to build because some of us don’t see our selves as builders. Because all women doesn’t come from a nurturing environment that reflex building, some women comes from a environment that portrays tearing down.
  5. Nice one Melissa,Am Gift Brown a soon-to-be-bride,And I no it's important to no these stuffs,Am Super when it comes to Chores and Housekeeping But I don't want it to turn to Perpetual Slavery cause that's not all I will be doing...Thanks Dear Much Love From Nigeria...
  6. It's all about attitude. So true! It's amazing how powerful the attitude of a woman can affect the whole household. I pray God will help me become a wise woman that builds her house instead of tearing it down.
  7. I love that he reminds us to Think of our house as Your mind and body too! “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬
  8. Hello! I just wanted to tell you how helpful this article was for me. it gave me a more better view on what being a home maker is and how I should change my attitude. thank you for writing this, it was very helpful to me! Thank you !
  9. Thanks for your advise. I don't struggle with the household part at all and actually enjoy it most of the time. What I do struggle with is raising my toddler and my baby while my husband works late almost every evening. I have tried to talk to him so many times and often find myself resentful at the end of the day that I have to deal with a crying/disobedient toddler by myself. His response is that it's just a very busy season right now (he works as a construction electrician) and that he can't just go home early. I understand it in a way but it's so unfair and been going on for almost all our 3 years of marriage. I try to seek God and get strength and wisdom but my mental health is just declining. More and more I see that my situation makes me angry though I was never a very angry person before. Some prayers would be appreciated. My name is Diana. Thank you

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