Homemaking When Life is Hard
The Ministry of Homemaking
You can find the rest of the posts in this series here: The Ministry of Homemaking Series.
My experience has been that much of the time life is just hard. Today, I felt like crawling back in bed and staying there. I know this post is very late and I apologize. I mentioned yesterday that the last few days had been tough and by the time we got home last night after 10 pm and I got the girls to bed by 11 and crawled in and rested my head on my pillow {which is just so comforting to me} I was wiped out. No energy to write anything – even if I had wanted to!
Bad News, Good News
{I usually want the bad news first…}
It’s Thursday and because of our grueling schedule on Wednesdays we always sleep in on Thursdays until around 9 am or so. At 9:30 am I was on the phone with my daughter Sarah’s doctor. Her appointment this morning had been scheduled for another day, but we needed to get the results of Monday’s CT scan.
The news was not particularly good. I mean, things could be worse, but the reality is we did not get the news we were hoping for. The abscess in Sarah’s abdomen is still present and it’s quite serious. They called in another prescription of the two worst antibiotics ever – Flagyl and Cipro. She just got off these medicines last week and this will be the third time in three months she’s been on them. {For those of you who do not know, she has Chron’s Disease.}
These medicines make her feel incredibly sick – like she’s dying – and she has to take them for two weeks. It’s very hard to watch her suffer like that.
They also referred her to a colorectal surgeon. So we have an appointment for next week to discuss – I’m assuming – surgery to drain the abscess. Next week were supposed to go the Nashville for a few days and she was planning to work at the camp and on the 14th {one week from today and the day before we see the surgeon} she has plane tickets to fly to Arizona and she really doesn’t want to have to cancel her trip.
So we’ve both spent much of the day crying.
Ok, so for the good news – and this really is good news!!! I also mentioned yesterday that my son’s sweet girlfriend was flying in from Florida to stay with us for a few days. They arrived home late last night. Well, in the midst of all our stress, I do have wonderful news. My son James asked Hannah to marry him yesterday – so now they are officially engaged and I am so thrilled – I can’t even begin to say how happy I am. Hannah is just everything a mom could want for her son.
So I have this roller coaster of emotions going on in my heart right now – one moment happy, the next worried and stressed and then back to happy.
Sometimes life is just crazy like that.
Homemaking When Life is Hard
So like I said, sometimes perhaps often times, life is just really hard to swallow. For a number of years I was a homemaker faced with the increasing demands of caring for elderly family members – four of them at once – and then three, then just two, and then finally none. Being a caregiver while also trying raise a family can be really hard. And if you are in the midst of that kind of situation and have been there – you know what I’m talking about.
I went from having a pretty predictable routine to everyday seeming to be a crazy mix of frustration, obligations, and stress with very little down time.
I’ve also had years when my chronic illness kept me bedridden for months at a time – and it was hard. Especially since during those years I had five young children to care for.
Sometimes there are circumstances that are beyond your control. It’s hard to accept. Because as humans, I think we naturally just really want to be in control of everything all the time. At least, that’s how I feel. I like feeling like I’m in control.
And when we feel like life is a chaotic mess and we’re out of control it’s frightening.
The Good News is that God is in control. He’s got your back and He knows exactly what you need and He will provide. But sometimes we’re so anxious to hang onto the reins that we don’t let God take control.
‘For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, for I myself will help you,’ declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:13-14
For much of 2015, I felt like it was the best year I’d had in years. It was a really good year overall. Toward the end of the year Sarah got sicker and she’s been in and out of the hospital, and CT scans, lab work, doctor’s visits, and hard medications have become part of our weekly routine.
[Tweet “The #GoodNews is that God is in control. He’s got your back!”]
The last few months have been a mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly and I know God is in control, but I still have a hard time letting go. I’m so thankful we have a Savior!
There is no easy button for homemaking when life is hard. I wish there was! It’s just a fact that it’s going to be hard. That’s why we need to willing to accept God’s grace for the moment. Putting systems and routines in place will help make things a little easier and we’ll be talking about all of those things soon!
When life is hard, it’s important to take time for yourself to rest, relax, spend time in prayer, smile, or even cry if that’s what you need to do. There’s been quite a number of times over the last few years when I have just needed to go in my room and cry by myself because of a discouraging diagnosis. And when it’s your kid whose sick, it’s so hard because sometimes you just want to break down, but you know your child needs you to be strong.
5 Ways to Nurture Yourself when Life is Hard
- Get plenty of sleep. Life seems even harder when we feel tired.
- Find time to read your Bible and pray. When life is hard and feels out of control, we need to find strength in the One who is always strong. You can tell Him anything and He always listens patiently!
- Make time to sit, relax, and laugh. For me this usually means spending time with my kids playing a board game, chatting and telling jokes, or watching funny videos on YouTube. Laughter is good medicine for a weary soul!
- Find a hobby that reduces your stress and set aside time each day {or week} to enjoy it.
- Take a soaking bath when you’ve had a really stressful day. Soaking in a tub of hot water relaxes your muscles and helps relieve tension. Add some fragrant bath salts, light some candles, and you can feel special even if it’s just for 15 or 30 minutes.
I spent a few hours this morning resting, crying, and on the phone. Now, I’m writing this and when I hit publish I’ll be heading to the kitchen to get it cleaned and get supper started. I have planners to print and and package. I need to get the house straightened up and help Hannah and Laura finish up their school work. I need to spend some time smiling and laughing with my family. I’d also like to get a bag of stuff cleaned out of my closet for my 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge – which thus far has been a bust – my week has been brutal.
And we all need to get to bed early enough that we can have a good day tomorrow when we head to Johnson City to the doctor’s office and then to run errands before heading home.
God is good, and I know he’s right here, holding me – and you – in the cradle of His hand. We don’t need to worry because He already knows what tomorrow will bring.
Home Work
Answers these questions below in a journal or notebook. Or, download my journaling page here.
- Look up and write these verses down in your journal: Isaiah 35:4 & 41;10, Psalm 55:22, Luke 12:22-26
- Are you going through a hard time right now?
- What is weighing most on your heart?
- How can you nurture your family during hard times?
- What would nurture your own heart most during hard times? Write down five things you can do for yourself to make sure you are taking care of YOU when life is hard.
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