Wired.

Or not.

We decided a week ago to cut off the internet in our house.

That’s right. Despite the fact that I run an online ministry from home, we cut off the internet.

There were a number of reasons. After only a week, I can already tell a huge difference in how I feel and I have noticed a difference in my children.

A few weeks ago, I was on facebook and noticed a “status” on a friend’s page that went something like this:

Family time: Mom’s on iphone, daughter’s on iphone, son’s on ipad, Dad’s on laptop.

That one little quip really bothered me. It sounded funny. But not really. It’s the sign of a disconnected family. Everyone off in their own little cyber space world. It’s what’s wrong with America today. It bothers me. I don’t want to be that family.

Now, honestly, we aren’t that bad. I’ve never considered computer time, family time. I monitor the kids usage daily, their devices are passworded and only I know the password. They have to have permission to get on. I’ve never believed it was healthy to have your head in “the box” for hours on end on a daily basis. But at the same time, I felt like we were missing something as a family. In our house, as busy as we are, we have a basic routine to our days. The kids do their school work then get their chores done so they can have “free time.” More often than not, as soon as their chores were done the request would come in, “Mom, can I get on my computer (or kindle, ipod, etc.)?” I realized that free time was no longer about discovering new interests, working on a hobby, learning a new skill, having quiet down time, or taking a walk. It was more and more about being wired to facebook or Messenger.

For myself, I realized that my desire to write a new article or share a new recipe often came before my desire to get other important things done. I also realized that being “wired in” 24/7 meant that I felt an obligation to provide daily material for my readers to enjoy so that my google rank stayed high. But then, it was also very easy to become distracted by a favorite blog, Pintrest, or a search for new recipes to try.

I have felt, for a long time, robbed of my time. But who was really stealing it? ME. The internet, with all of its fabulous ideas and inspiring articles draw us in, telling us that we need it. When the idea of disconnecting the internet first came up, I battled with it. I said things like, “I don’t know, I use it for homeschooling all the time. I use it for recipes, and so many things! I have a ministry and a blog! How can I give that up?”

But then, I felt the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart, whispering to me and I knew I needed to let it go. For our family. And then I felt peace. More peace than I have felt in a really, really long time.

I’ve noticed several things since disconnecting:

1. I have more time. My days feel longer. I use to complain all the time that I just didn’t have enough time. I felt stressed an awful lot.  I have my life back.
2. When I do go to the library to get on and post to A Virtuous Woman, I have a list of things that need to get done and I do them. No distractions. No wasted time. And as a bonus, we get our library things done for school while we are there. And on nice days, we walk – fresh mountain air and healthy exercise.
3. I have re-discovered my cookbooks. I love it.
4. I’ve been able to get some projects done that have been on the back burner for, sadly, years.
5. My teens, who were bored out of their minds the first couple of days, are discovering a world outside the internet. Thank you, Lord. A true blessing indeed.
6. I just feel happier. Who knew?

I can’t count the times I would read someone’s blog, thinking their life sounded so perfect, wishing mine was, and then telling myself – “Instead of dreaming about the perfect life, get up and live it.” I have always had a pretty good life. No, a really good life. A wonderful life. But now… it seems all the more so.

The simple life… is the good life.

Fabulous Valentine’s Day Finds

I love to make Valentine’s Day special for my family. I have found so many wonderful freebies this year! In fact, I have found so many great ideas I’m having a difficult time trying to decide which ones to use! How about Valentine’s month? Sounds like a good idea!

Here are a few of my favorite finds – the some of the ones I’ll be using this year:

Host a Gingerbread Party for Kids

Looking for ways to make this year’s Christmas celebration memorable for your kids? Why not host a gingerbread party? I bet this would be fun for moms, too! HGTV has some great ideas. Check them out! Not to mention the adorable invitations and recipe cards you can print for free!  Plus! More printables: a red and green banner, gingerbread party circles, fancy food labels, and more!

Picky Eaters

From Chaos to Calm: Day Forty-One

 Picky Eaters

 Scripture Memory: “Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself.” Ezekiel 4:9

Download the .pdf version of this article.

Oh, the joys of motherhood. Cooking supper in your pretty apron with your hair fixed and a sweet helper washing the dishes as you go…

Oh, wait – this is real life! I don’t know about you, but supper time can be stressful. I enjoy cooking for my family. I really work hard to prepare healthy meals that look and taste good. Unfortunately, there is always at least one child who is less than thrilled with the menu. Whether it is Emily’s dislike of broccoli, James’ dislike of eggs and mayonnaise, or Sarah’s dread for coleslaw, it seems out of five kids the only nights everyone is thrilled is when I make spaghetti.

We have a rule in our house that no one is allowed to be picky. This rule starts at around the age of five. Before that, I encourage, but do not insist that they eat what is served. They must eat something of everything and they must eat what they take. I do not believe in forcing a child who feels full to continue eating. In this case, my children have the option of finishing their dinner at a later time. They know they will not be allowed to waste the food.

Children who are allowed to eat only the foods they really love grow up to be adults who don’t like vegetables. Over the years my children have grown to love greens, salads, spinach, and asparagus. Emily is even beginning to like broccoli! Our taste buds change over time. Not only that, but you can retrain your own taste buds by eating foods you don’t care for on a regular basis.

Some foods that my own mother did not serve – which I grew up disliking – were beets, mushrooms, olives, asparagus, sauerkraut, spinach and more. I am happy to report that thanks to my husbands encouragement, I LOVE all of these foods now and cook them frequently.

Children should not be allowed to waste food. I can’t count the times I have attended a potluck dinner and watched as children piled their plates high with good food only to throw most of it in the trash minutes later. God is not honored by our waste. Children need to learn that food is a blessing from God. Part of being a good steward is eating the food we are provided and avoiding waste as much as possible. My children know when we go to a potluck or eat at someone else’s home that they are to politely eat what they are served.

Teach your children about nutrition. Let them help you choose healthy foods at the grocery store. Tell them why you do not eat certain foods or why some foods should only be eaten in moderation. Teach them how to properly care for their bodies. More importantly show them by your own example.

 

Scripture Memory – Chapters of the Bible

My girls and I decided recently to work on memorizing entire chapters of the Bible together. We are currently working on Psalm 91. This is a beautiful psalm. I printed out the chapter – one sheet for each of us and as we work on each verse, I am highlighting the current verses in yellow. We are learning one and then adding the next and so on. We practice the verses during morning worship as well as throughout the day.

You can download the .pdf version of Psalm 91 to use in your own Scripture Memory for Family Worship.

 

What is your family doing for Family Worship this week?

20 Ideas: Thanksgiving Kids Table

Every year I have a kids table at Thanksgiving Dinner with activities to keep the little ones busy while they wait for dinner. Here are some fun ideas:

1. Thankful Turkey from Artists Helping Children
2. Shindig Thanksgiving Printables from Shindig Parties to Go
3. Celebrate Thanksgiving from Anna and Blue Paperie
4. I am Thankful Chain from Silverbox Creative Studio
5. Activity Placemat from Family Fun
6. Thanksgiving Mad Lib from Family Fun
7. Mayflower Treat Holders from Sheek Shindigs
8. Chalkboard Placemats from La T Da
9. Fabric Napkins and Rings from The Celebration Shoppe
10. Thanksgiving Table Setting Printables from Lily’s Laundry
11. Kids Place Settings from One Charming Party
12. Turkey Chair Covers from Wild Olive
13. Kids Table Setting with Printables and Tutorials from Frog Prince Paperie
14. Decorating the Kids Table at Fiskars
15. Squirrel and Acorn Decorated Table at No Fuss Fabulous
16. Corn on the Cob on a Stick from One Charming Party
17. Placecards, Napkin Rings, Stickers and More from Parenting.com
18. Kids Thanksgiving Table from Skip to My Lou
19. Gobbling Turkey Apples from Make and Take
20. Candy Cups from Make and Take

Children and Chores

From Chaos to Calm: Day Twenty-Nine

Children and Chores

Scripture Memory: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12

 

This is perhaps one of the hardest lessons a mother will have to learn: teaching your children to be respectful and helpful all at the same time is rarely easy!

If your children are still small, include them in your daily chores now so that they will learn early on that it is very important to be a good helper. Praise your children when they do help or offer willingly to help without being asked.

No matter how old your child is, he should be required to complete a number of chores daily to help keep the household running smoothly. Children today are given far too many privileges and much too much free time.

Make time today or over the next few days to make a family chore chart and assign every member or every child chores. You may want to have rotating chores or you may want to simply change the chores out/ add to them as your child ages.

Set Consequences.

Do not despair if your child immediately cries foul and seems bent on not doing as you have asked. For a child who is not used to doing chores, there will be an adjustment period. However, it is very important that you do not waiver in your determination to make them follow through.

For a child who rebels, you will need to have in place consequences for their disobedience. Do not yell. Do not beg. Do not bribe your children to obedience. The root of all disobedience is a rebellious heart. It is a heart issue! So, determine the punishment for not doing chores and make them clear ahead of time to your child so that he knows what to expect.

Follow Through.

Part of training your children is working along side of them. If you have assigned your twelve year old son the bathrooms, do not just say, “Go clean the bathroom.” Go with him. Show him step by step how to do it the first time. The second time, go with him and tell him what to do step by step and correct him if he is not doing it right. Continue to check his work every time until you are certain it will be done to your standards (not his) and that you can reasonably expect that he will do his chores in a timely fashion and to the standard you have set.

If your children are required to put away their clothes, don’t just send them up the stairs to put away their clothing. Explain how you want it done. Do not forget to check that they did it correctly! You will end up with clean clothes back in the hamper if you aren’t diligent! Or the clothes, once neatly folded, will end up crammed into drawers and wrinkled.

Even the youngest child can help put away his toys, help wash the windows, or scrub the

floors. My children used to fight over who got to mop the floor. I would hand them each a sponge and they would have so much fun. Now that they are older they don’t enjoy it so much, but it was nice while it lasted!

Make It Fun!

You can make a chore chart on the computer. You can write it out by hand or you can even make a super cool poster with neat stickers and lots of colors. The important thing is that you put the chart in a central location of the house – the kitchen or family rooms are good choices. You may also want to make individualized charts for each child to place in their bedrooms, in the bathrooms, or in their school binders.

 

Training your children today will reap rewards tomorrow! Ask God to show you how best to instruct your children to be hard workers with cheerful attitudes.

 

The Prayers of a Mother

From Chaos to Calm: Day Twenty-Four

The Prayers of a Mother

Scripture Memory: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

Download the .pdf version of this article.

I want to encourage you today as a mother. There are times when we as moms feel discouragement, worry, fear, or heartache. Whether it is fear for your child when he is sick or worry that he is not safe or heartache when you see your child make unwise choices, you as a mom will face days when you need the help of your Savior to pull you through doubt, fear, and sorrow.

I love Psalm 46:1. It is one of my favorite verse. The words encourage me when I feel hopelessness and fear. I can know that God knows my pain and sorrow. That he understands the worry I feel. He is there when I need Him the most.

As a young mother with only one child, being a mom often just seemed hard! My first born, was and is a very strong willed child. Taking him to the store was often unbearable and I can remember many tears shed as I wondered what to do. And while my son no longer throws himself on the floor kicking and screaming, there are new challenges every day. I thank God that my only concerns are whether he is responsible on a daily basis and completes his chores and works hard in school. My heart goes out to the mother who faces drugs, alcohol, sex, and anger. My heart goes out to the mother whose child was born with special needs. As moms, whatever the crisis we face might be, it is real and we need to go to God in prayer.

Remember to go to God in prayer daily over your children. Pray for them on days when everything seems fine and lift them up to your Heavenly Father when things seem oh so wrong. Will listen regardless and will give you wisdom as you guide and direct your child in the ways he should go.

Don’t forget to pray for your child’s future as well. Ask God to guide your child as he grows, that he might find God’s will for his life. Ask God to help him choose the one whom God would have him spend his life with. Lift up your child and pray that he draws nearer to HIM every day.

There may be times when you feel as all hope is lost for your child. Many mothers will face unforeseeable heartache. But even for those mothers who simply want their child to be respectful or who need wisdom in dealing with temper tantrums, God is there to carry you through.

“Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. (NLT)

 

Enjoy Your Children

Day Twenty-Three

Enjoy Your Children

Scripture Memory: “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.”

Psalm 127:3, 4

 

Download the .pdf version of this article.

Being a mom is by far the most rewarding part of my life. To watch a tiny little baby grow and develop into a beautiful, kind child is a blessing! I loved being pregnant and giving birth. I loved each and every moment after, holding my little newborn babies with their soft skin, sweet smell, and tiny cry.

As they have grown I have been faced with many challenges and many more blessings. My children never cease to amaze me as a mother. Their faith is truly amazing. The worst part about being a mom is how fast babyhood passes into childhood which fast forwards into the teenage years and beyond. I wish I had more time to simply savor my children!

You have heard it said that no one on their death bed ever wished for more money, nicer cars, or fancy houses. In the end all that ever matters are those moments shared with your family. Sometimes new moms have no idea that the weeks and months will fly by and that the time lost can never be replaced.

When my son was born, I couldn’t wait for each new phase…. Rolling over, crawling, walking, etc. I waited anxiously and read all the parenting books so I knew what to expect in the weeks to come. I didn’t realize until my second child was born how fast those few years has passed by. I was determined to truly hold onto each moment and enjoy her even more. I was not as anxious for her to begin crawling and walking and growing up.

As each child came, I felt the pangs of motherhood, knowing that the years were passing far too quickly. I am constantly reminding myself I only have a short time to do all the things and teach all the things that are important to me. My son is now in college and my daughters are racing toward the finish line as well and it scares me!

Every now and again I have to pause from my busy life and take a step back. How easy it is to get busy with the day to day activities that consume us and forget to savor the time we have right now. I want to encourage you to take that step back with me and ask yourself, “Am I enjoying my child?”

I am not just talking about laughing at the silly sayings or admiring the beautiful child. I am talking about truly enjoying your children. How often do you sit down and read aloud? How often do you call your children in the kitchen to help you prepare supper or bake a cake? How often do you climb up the slide with them and wind your way down? How often do you stop what you are doing and look in their eyes when they ask you a question or show you their latest discovery?

I confess, I am not always paying attention. Far too often I have caught myself hurrying through life because I have too much to do. In recent months I made a point to cut back and

really enjoy my children while they are still children.

Today, stop what you are doing. Hug your child. Look him in the eyes. Read to him. Laugh with him. Play with him.

In your prayer journal, pray for your time with your children. Ask God to help you make the most of the time you do have. List at least five things that make each of your children special. Make a point today to compliment them on those qualities. Impart a blessing on them that will carry them through a lifetime.

“And he blessed them; he blessed each one according to his own blessing.”

Genesis 49:28 (NKJV)

 

Provoke Not Your Children

From Chaos to Calm: Day Twenty-Two

Provoke Not Your Children

Scripture Memory: “Fathers [Mothers], provoke not your children [to anger], lest they be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

 

Download the .pdf version of this article.

Being a mom is rarely easy. Children seem born to test us! Patience is definitely needed on the part of mom if the household is to remain peaceful and a haven of love.

I have witnessed parents who, without good reason, yell at their children, speak harshly to them, or pick at the slightest wrong. The Bible tells us that as parents we should not provoke our children to anger. What does this mean?

Let’s say your teenage son has come inside and thoughtlessly forgotten to take off his shoes before walking through the house. You have a choice. You can immediately call him down, yell at him, and question his mental capacity. Or you can gently remind him, “Please take off your shoes.”

Or let’s say that your six year old has a bad habit about still sucking on his thumb. You can call him a “baby” and make him feel bad about it. Or you could seek out a way to enable him to stop with love and concern.

Children should never be put down, belittled, or snapped at. As your child grows from a toddler to an adolescent and beyond, he will want to feel understood. So many times parents don’t give their child the benefit of being listened to. A child that is frequently yelled at, may feel justified in being angry and disrespectful. However, a child that is treated with respect and dignity coupled with a firm, loving form of discipline will demonstrate the same love and respect toward his mom and dad.

It can be frustrating for parents when they feel that everything they have tried to teach their children is not getting through. If you have an angry child, it is likely that there is a reason. He may feel as though he can never live up to your expectations – so why try? Or, he may know that you do not stick to your resolve and if he acts badly enough you will give in to his desires.

Try approaching your child with tenderness, love, respect, and with a soft voice. Unjust harshness is not fair to either one of you. Rather than picking at every little thing you notice – try choosing your battles wisely so that only the most important issues are brought up. If it is important to you that your child wears certain styles of clothing, allow him the freedom to choose colors he likes. If you do not want your child to eat unhealthy snacks, provide healthy choices rather than complaining about his poor eating habits. Do not poke fun at your child or embarrass him in public on purpose. Sarcasm make be funny to a crowd, but it is rarely funny to the person being talked about. Uplift your child every chance you get. Really look and see the good in him instead of only the bad.

Remember that it is okay to admit to your child that you were wrong. They will learn a valuable lesson from you! If you realize later that something you said or did was unfair, as them to forgive you and make a promise to be better in the future.

In your prayer journal today, I want you to write about how you respond to your children. Be honest. If you feel you have been unfair to your child(ren) ask God to forgive you. Ask Him for wisdom when relating to your children in discipline and everyday activities.

 

 

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