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Help Your Child Build Self-Confidence

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Help Your Child Build Self-Confidence @ AVirtuousWoman.org

A healthy self-esteem is so important. In fact, your child’s self-esteem will greatly impact your child for a lifetime and is a determining factor in their happiness and well-being.  How they feel about themselves affects how they act towards others and how much success they are able to achieve.

Take a moment to think about a time when you were feeling great about yourself. You probably found it much easier to get along with others and achieve the result you were going for. For many years I struggled with feelings of unworthiness and shame. I had little to no self-esteem. I didn’t believe I was valuable.

As a mom, one of my greatest goals in life has been to encourage my children to believe that they are valuable, have much to offer {regardless of any short comings} and that they can do anything they believe is possible if they work hard enough.

Help Your Child Build Self-Confidence

These tips will help you raise a confident child and give them the foundation they need for a lifetime of success.

Be a Positive Mirror

Much of your child’s self-image comes as much from what they perceive about themselves as well as from how they think others perceive them. This is especially true for preschoolers who learn about themselves by their parents’ reactions to them. But even adolescents and teenagers are prone to discouragement if their parents are negative. Do you reflect positive or negative images to your child?

I read a quote recently that I loved:

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” – Peggy O’Mara

Do you build confidence by telling them that they’re fun to be with? That their opinions matter to you? That you are happy with their behavior? That they have been made special by a Creator who loves them very much? When you give your child positive reflections, they learn to think well of themselves.

Help Your Child Build Self-Confidence @ AVirtuousWoman.org

Girls are especially susceptible to poor body image when their mothers talk negatively about their own weight and bodies. When my weight fluctuates I try hard not to complain about how I look or about how I wish I could lose weight. Instead, I involve the girls in healthy activities like eating right, walking, hiking, or exercising so that we can stay fit together.

related: Why I Still Tuck My Teens in Bed at Night

Be Realistic

You can’t be positive and happy all the time.  You are only human. Your child should learn that parents have down days, too. Children can see through fake cheerfulness. Discuss down times with your child in a positive way.  Let them know that even though you are having a bad day, you will be able to overcome it.

And when you have a bad day and say something or do something thoughtless, express your sorrow and ask for forgiveness. Kids need to hear you say you’re sorry when you’ve done something you regret.

related: The Parenting Super Bundle – On Sale for a Limited Time!

Play Together

You can learn a lot about your child during playtime. Spending time with them sends your child the message, “You are worth my time. I enjoy being with you.” Children learn many valuable lessons through play. Use playtime to make an investment in your child’s behavior.

related: Favorite Family Games

Regardless of your child’s age, there are lots of ways you can play and have together! Here are a few things we do in our house on a regular basis:

  • play board games
  • Nerf gun wars outside
  • hiking
  • searching for salamanders
  • taking walks
  • watching funny YouTube videos
  • sharing funny jokes
  • reading books out loud
  • movie nights
  • ice cream sundae nights

Help Your Child Build Self-Confidence @ AVirtuousWoman.org

Set Your Child Up to Succeed

Helping your child develop their talents is important to building their confidence. If you recognize a talent your child has that they don’t see, encourage their ability. If you don’t encourage your child to at least try, their skills don’t improve, and you’ve lost a valuable confidence building lesson.

One of my greatest passions is helping my children follow their dreams and passions as much as possible. Years ago as I sat thinking about how each of my children were different and had their own unique interests, I felt God speak to my heart. He told me to find each child’s passion and run with it. Their passions became my passions. I’ve done my best to give them every opportunity to excel in their passion.

related: How to Inspire Creativity in Your Children

Give Them a Wall of Fame

Every child is good at something. Discover it and encourage it.  Then frame their work and display their awards. A wall of fame let’s your child know that you think their work is valuable and worth showing off.

As children walk by their personal showcase, they can see their years of achievements; lifting their spirits, especially during times when they are doubting their abilities.

In our house, I have displayed around our home:

  • artwork the girls have drawn
  • photographs they have taken
  • awards they have received
  • photos of achievements {figure skating}

Mothering is such a noble work, with great responsibility. Be intentional with your children!

What experiences have you had building your child’s self-confidence? What did your parents do right with you {or wrong} that influenced your own self-esteem?


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  1. Great list! Thanks for sharing. One thing I do is to let my little one do "grownup" things. Whenever she shows interest, e.g. mopping the floor, and if it's not dangerous, I'd let her try even though I know I'll have more cleanup to do afterwards. Hopefully, in addition to gaining self-confidence, she'll really learn to mop the floor well one day rather than just making it wet. LOL.
  2. Excellent tips and wonderful reminders for all the parents (myself included) who can get so wrapped up in daily duties that you forget the importance of your interactions. Thanks for sharing at Merry Monday!

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