Setting Goals for Your Marriage + Free Printable Worksheet for Couples

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Are you feeling like your marriage isn’t going anywhere, or does it feel like your not on the same path? Setting goals for your marriage will help your relationship feel more in line with your hopes and dreams for your marriage.

Be sure to download my free printable worksheet for couples at the end of the post!

Setting Marriage Goals @ AVirtuousWoman.org

Today I’m sharing a guest post by marriage blogger, Lateva Woolfork on setting goals for your marriage. I hope you enjoy!

Being a wife for almost 14 years now has taught me that setting marital goals can help your marriage become stronger and increase its longevity.

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years now including our 6 years of dating and our engagement period. Seems like such a long time ago, but I can remember the feelings we had when we first met and the feelings during the bad times. 

Wow, to think back on those hard times and how far we’ve come I can only give honor to God for bringing us this far. 

We’ve not only proven to those around us that we could make it longer than anyone – but we even proved a thing or two to ourselves. Of course, we set out to be husband and wife forever, at the ages of 19 and 21 there was nothing but stars in our eyes for one another. 

Those stars in our eyes and the love we so strongly feel for one another would not be the only things that would keep us together. 

Setting Goals for Your Marriage

We quickly learned: love gets you to the altar, after that the real work starts.

The world gives us an unrealistic outlook on what marriage is, one that skews our belief in our marriage and how it’s supposed to go. 

There is a bible verse that resonates with me when it comes to our marriage and how we should view it, 

 Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Setting goals has helped us maintain the peace in our marriage and the goals we set.

Why Should You Set Goals For Your Marriage? 

Goals, help you and your spouse have something to refer to when it comes to what you’re expecting and how you want to be treated in the marriage. As we all know the saying is true, your spouse can’t read your mind!! 

Setting goals lets your spouse into the thoughts you have for both of you. Setting goals also helps when the world starts to throw all it has at you. 

related: Setting Goals for Your Marriage

We threw six daughters in the mix, long work schedules, personal goals and passions, and of course, all of it didn’t stick. Knowing this we set out to capture the love and passion we started with. To do this we wanted to set long-term goals to improve communication, set date nights, and plan goals for our relationship. 

Every year my husband and I set a date to sit down and look each other in the eyes, not only to spend time with each other – but to sit down as husband and wife and make a goals list. 

We’ve learned taking the time and looking at your marriage as a whole gives you both vision and purpose to work on and look forward to. 

What are some good marriage goals? 

Pray Together Daily.

This seems like a given, right? You gave your love to God during your wedding but sometimes praying together can get away from you. Praying together gives you a vulnerable heart not only for each other but for the lord. 

As long as you’re chasing the heart of God it will be easy to keep the goals and intentions set forth for your marriage. Growing in your faith together will be one of the most satisfying things you’ll do as a couple. 

Date With Purpose

Dating is also one that seems to be a given and easy expression of love. Dating can also get away from you quickly when you’re doing all the aspects of life together. But dating and getting to know your spouse should be intentional, as you grow and change. 

Remember, life events and day to day can change your spouse’s perspective on things. Dating gives you the time to ask the questions. Don’t think you’ve heard it all and done it all. 

This goal has proven to be one of the best ones for us. We like to each plan a big date for the month. And that may not seem like much, but it’s the time we have right now so we make the most of it!

Remember, dates don’t have to be expensive and you can even plan “at home date nights!

Set a Goal To be Kind

It’s so easy to lash out at the one you love the most. Letting negative things slip can damage your marriage. But setting the goal to intentionally be kind when you’re talking to one another can level-up your marriage. 

This way makes disagreements easier to deal with as your partner knows your intentions are always done in love and kindness. 

related: Trust in Marriage

Set Intentions

We know intentional steps, thoughts and goals increase the probability of you and your spouse getting to your goals. My husband and I have learned over the years that intentions matter. Even in the simplest thing on how we address each other, how we purchase gifts and the amount of time spend with each other.  

Putting God first will help you and your spouse see your goals through. We believe in both husband and wife working on the marriage nothing can put your marriage asunder. I  can honestly tell you as a wife setting goals is one of the best things we’ve done in our marriage. It’s gotten us through the very tough times and made the best times even better. 

About Lateva Woolfork

Lateva, AKA The All Purpose Woman is a Detroit girl living in an Indianapolis world. She is a minister, blogger, podcaster and wife. Lateva is the epitome of survivor – her tumultuous upbringing involved domestic violence, parent incarceration and not having the security and safety of a home.

Her past continues to motivate her to help others to succeed and overcome, just as she has done. Now a mother of 6 daughters and a wife for almost 15 years, she now lends her talents and love for community building at her blog: The All Purpose Woman.

Action Steps to Take Today

  1. Pray and ask God to show what areas of your marriage you have not been trustworthy in.
  2. Plan to sit down with your spouse and set some intentional goals for your marriage.
  3. Remember that open and honest communication is key to building trust in marriage.
  4. Download my Weekly Couples Check-In worksheet below, if desired.
  5. Use the worksheet each week during your weekly check-in for open, clear communication.

More Marriage Resources

Free Printable Weekly Couples Check-In

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  1. Where would a person start when I've been living like a roommate for over 14 years? My husband is content with living his retirement years doing nothing, I'm not even 60 and I just survive living here. I have tried talking to him but he says he's fine with the way things are. I've suggested counseling but he's not interested. I wondered if he's depressed but he really show's no symptoms. When do you know it's just not worth trying anymore?
    1. I'm so very sorry to hear this. I know it must be very hard for you! It's hard for me to offer advice when I don't really know what his behavior is otherwise like. I do know it takes two people to make a relationship work. Has he emotionally abandoned you? Do you otherwise enjoy being together? I would visit a licensed counselor on your own (and not necessarily a Christian counselor). If there's any questions I can try to answer, please let me know. I pray things get better for you!

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